Married 10 years. A 5yo and 3yo. Husband works 55hrs/wk over 6days (physical job) and I work 27hrs/wk over 3 days (gov job). I am well paid, so finance wise this isn't that unequal.
Routinely, our lives descend into a big 'blow up'. I can't stand to be around him or listen to his excuses. It's always that he 'does more than most men', which to me would be a sad state of affairs if true.
Before kids I was highly strung. Husband was generally quite laid back. This wasn't an issue until the children came along. Quite frankly, I'm sick of managing everyone's lives.
I do all drop offs/ pick ups unless I specifically plan for Husband to do this because I'm busy elsewhere. House is big. Absolute nightmare to maintain. And I'm not big into cleaning, so routinely I need to tackle spaces and sort them out (Husband and kids leave things strewn everywhere). It's not unhygienic but it affects my mood.
This is how it's roughly split:
Drop offs/ pick ups- 100% me (unless prearranged very sporadically).
Shopping- 100% me.
Cooking- 90 (me)/ 10 (him)
Dishes- 80 (me)/ 20 (him)
Medical/ dental appointments (kids)- 100% me.
Kids sports/ activities- 100% me.
Clothes shopping/ rotation/ payment for kids- 100% me.
Holiday scheduling and payment- 100% me.
Bathtimes- 50/50.
General cleaning- 90 (me)/ 10 (him).
School prep (lunches/ bags/ trips etc)- 100% me.
Taking bins out- 10 (me)/ 90 (him)
Outside maintenance- 100% him.
I am just so sick of running the show. I feel like i exist to sort everything in this family and it's driving me mad. But am I expecting too much of my husband? What would be a fair split to anyone else? I'll caveat that by saying I have to tell him what needs done. Every. Single. Time.😖Just so fed up!!