To expect people to be upfront with any ‘kinks’

Yep

Oh totally

never do anything you aren’t happy to do

Wow!! A quick turn around from I can live without it, too, actually can I pay someone to do it!!!

Well at least you found out now.

Hey Darling

I love you and want to be with you for ever and ever even though I said I couldn't live without my kink, and I'm suddenly completely sincere despite my earlier ultimatum.

And btw you know this love you for ever and ever happy ever after stuff with marriage, do you think you could throw in a sex worker so I can get my rocks off because you aren't going to satisfy me enough.

My Ex was fine with all of this. Honestly I've no idea why we split up, we were both so happy and compatible. You are a cool girl too aren't you? You are going to stroke my ego and support my pervy feeling and will be happy to spend our family money on an expensive pass time that destroys your self esteem and self worth and any trust we have between us. It's a worthwhile investment. And you will continue to prioritise this financially and emotionally when our first baby comes along won't you? I'm sure your Dad will approve when I ask for your hand in marriage

My wonderful support human who selflessly is prepared to indulge my bloated entitlement to women as a commodity

Love you darling

Richard

Bin.

Oh he has this perfected! Or thinks he has! Telling you right after meeting your parents and reminding you of this promised future of marriage and kids- thank god it sounds like you’re not that easily manipulated! He’s shown you who he is now OP. My worry is that if you say - absolutely not, this is over, that he will backtrack and say he was only ASKING and of COURSE he isn’t going to throw away this amazing thing you have over that- please please don’t believe anything this man tells you! Of course if he could get your permission that would be ideal for him, but second best is just lying to you and doing it anyway.

Anything that is a non-negotiable - kink, food habit, hobby or anything - should be put on the table considerably before you hit the stage of meeting the parents imo.

Waiting until right after, and using the “exes didn’t mind” cliches would have me running for the hills, manipulative prick.

So he has just realised there is something he likes that he will struggle to live without

that is just straightforward manipulation especially given that the relationship has become serious

he will no doubt try and push another boundary soon don’t allow him

My guess is he still sees this mistress and now you’ve got serious feels he should tell you.

It’s not necessarily gay or bisexual, it just feel good for them, they have the prostate up there and it just feels good for the ones who have tried it, but it doesn’t mean every woman has to indulge them

Wow he went from bad to worse. On its own his kink isn’t too bad but the way he’s kept it secret then presented it as ‘all my friends are allowed to do it’ and then it turns out that the actual story is he had a partner help didn’t mind him getting his pegging elsewhere for THREE YEARS?!!
he sounds horrible, abusive and manipulative.
well done for knowing your boundaries

So they just like things up their arses?

If he can’t go without it then he isn’t straight. Run Op, this one is only going to get weirder!

Gay but cant accept it x

This

Yanbu though

Chuck this guy back, how could you respect this complete bottom as a husband?!

People should be upfront about their sexual tastes so shit like this doesnt happen

Theres a lot going on here

Yabu first of all not to state the kinks so we can form a proper judgement!

They are neither “semi gay” nor bi unless they are sexually interested in a man.

OP has said in her comments.

They can be totally straight, but I think there's the confounding factor that gay/bi men who are trying to hide their sexuality will sometimes want to be pegged (something a couple of my friends/acquaintances have encountered in boyfriends) - and then their sexuality comes out... And so it makes people suspicious that every man who wants to be pegged is secretly gay/bi, when that isn't the case.

This guy is a manipulative, coercive bar steward. I never normally tell people to LtB but please leave this bar steward.

'my ex was okay with it' is NEVER a good reason. You are not his ex. Bet she dumped him for pulling similar shit.

Thank fuck he sent you that 2nd message. Seriously.

Otherwise you would have swallowed all that bs about the future and how much he wants to ask your DF for your hand etc etc.

His pegging definitely comes before your needs in a relationship.

He’s already researched ‘solutions’, i bet he knew about them beforehand, chances are he’s been to such ‘mistress’ before, maybe even during those 8 months together.

His long term ex ‘was fine’ with it- i can guarrantee she wasn’t and that’s why she’s an ex. He’s manipulating and pressuring you, making you feel abnormal, because apparently his exes were cool with his fetish (riiiight…🙄).

He concealed this for 8 months. This might be just the tip of the iceberg. He will reveal more as you get more entrapped (e.g. married, have kids) and will have no choice but to go along with it. If you don’t, he’ll do it behind your back.

There’s nothing wrong with having kinks and fetishes but the way he is going about it is wrong. He is not a person you can trust.

8 months, whilst seemingly a lot, is nothing compared with 10+ years of this nonsense you’ll be putting up with if you stay together.

Wouldn't surprise me if he's been spending money on this 'mistress' all along.

Non-negotiable kinks should be discussed asap which is a lot sooner than 8 months. He's a wanker (or rather, a peggee?).

He thinks he's a real clever clogs doesn't he? Poor deluded soul. You dodged a bullet there OP.