AIBU to expect my ex to tell me about overnight trips?

Too young for overnight trips?! My children were babies when we started going away!
My youngest can still remember being 2 and staying at cbeebies land hotel!

I think its fair that he informed you of plans so you know roughly where they are etc. But you don't have any say in what thsy do on their time.

Id look at it in a positive way that your son was included, and had a lovely time with his dad and family!

Are you maybe jealous that you didnt get to do these things with your son?

Actually a court will say that it isn't her business unless out of the country or if it impacts her time.

It's all well and good being civil and courteous co-parents but when one or other of the parents reacts like the OP then it isn't possible. Imagine trying to do anything nice with your family, and having to tell your ex about it who you know will just cause friction and cause a scene? It only works if both parents can say "oh that sounds nice, enjoy, I look forward to hearing about it" or similar.

I think you may have a touch of seperation anxiety here, only because you mention about the possibility of something bad happening to your little boy. I think the issue was him being so far away and you not being able to help in the very low chances something did bad happen. And if it did by the sounds of it his dad and sm love him very much to take care of whatever would arise. Please try and relax and maybe look at the bright side at how your son has other caring parent/s who love him as much as you do to take on great family days out. I can see why you got anxious though, ive experienced it with my own children

As a blended family, we would tell my SDs Mum if we were going away for the weekend. We wouldn't if we were going away for the day probably, but not for nefarious means just because we wouldn't think of it and she wouldn't care. If we were thinking of doing something dangerous (like, water skiing or something!! Not that we do) then we would definitely discuss it. I think you reacted badly to your son going away for a day and so it wasn't discussed again. I can understand why you felt unnerved by it, but you will need to work hard to be reasonable so you can keep up lines of communication and engagement for the good of your son. It's not easy.

She didn’t probably over react, she totally overreacted and if she’s anxious she needs to deal with that and her anger, to be a better parent.

Meanwhile DF should carry on as he is, without having to deal with his ex partners issues, they are after all exes.

One of many in the last few months. They're talking about it on site stuff.

He’s not to young for overnight trips with his parent.

You’re being so unreasonable that I strongly suspect this is a wind up

First reply nailed it.

Nothing to do with you.

And the op posted that she has probably over reacted and she is anxious

hopefully she has learnt we can’t all be perfect parents all the time

Sorry op id class your ex as main carer as he sees him more as it's over the weekend..as it's so close to be 50:50 I'm surprised he pays maintenance. It's great your son is an important part of his dads life

I think with this thread it’s more the fact he is a good dad and she’s whinging about that…

The OP still hasn't explained why she's saying he's too young to go away overnight and has also said she's taken him away on holiday. Those are contradictory positions.

I don't think you're overreacting at all. You should know where they are at all times, especially when they're so young.

He should at the very least have the decency to tell you what he intends to do, not just go ahead and do it. Do you do the same for him? He sounds quite irresponsible to be honest.

Familes with 1 or 2 parents go away with young children all the time. Your son is not too young. You are using that as an excuse as he did something really fun with his Dad that you have never done with him. Actually I think you are jealous.

Well someone would inform her wouldn't they if something happened

Why is that an issue?

Because she’s angry when the child’s other parent is being a good parent, working, giving his child a great time, providing maintenance and paying for wonderful trips.

She responds with …….. anger.

That’s a huge issue! And one she needs to address, it’s not enough to just say “I’m main care giver”, which she barely is.

It is her business, it’s her son for crying out loud.

I would want to know where my DS was. I agree she doesn’t need to consulted about every decision his father makes during their time together, but an over night stay in this country somewhere, it would have been courteous to let her know.

Imagine if anything happened to him and she hadn’t got a clue where he was.

You are being so unreasonable I don’t know where to start.

And why is that an issue exactly ....

they co parent

He definitely shouldn't need to get your permission, but I understand wanting to know when your son is staying somewhere unfamiliar overnight.

I think you should apologize to your ex for framing it as a question of permission, but that you'd really appreciate it if he told you as a courtesy next time. And make sure you tell him if you do decide to go anywhere overnight.

I also think you should reframe your attitude to being the 'main parent'. While that might legally be the case, in reality it's as close to 50/50 while being convenient to your schedules, and it's just not nice to imply he's less of a parent than you, especially when you are looking for a favour from him.

Shame OP doesn’t like that kindness!

She’s not even grateful that he’s doing this stuff whilst she’s relaxing, she actually angry!

Well given he has a mother who would rather spend time with her partner and who thinks a child shouldn’t have nights away I would say it’s a good job that he has a father who puts him first!

No she’s failing in spending all
get child’s leisure time alone with her partner relaxing!

It’s like a mother can do no wrong! She’s not being fair and off loading her responsibilities.