AIBU to expect my ex to tell me about overnight trips?

People keep going on about permission because the OP said - he should not be taking my DS away overnight without asking permission first

Yep I thought this. OP doesn’t work yet will still get almost the entire weekend free once her DS is in school but conveniently still technically has him 4 nights a week and so can keep receiving all the financial support.

Not to mention the first post being entirely unreasonable.

This

Too young for overnight trips? I feel bad for your son, you sound absolutely ridiculous!!!

You’ve never taken your child on a night away/weekend away/ holiday??!!!
That’s just grim.
At least his dad is bringing him on fun trips!

He’s 4? How is he too young for overnight trips? Is there any age when they are too young (I know people who have travelled with newborns happily). There are very very few 4 year olds who have never done an overnight trip anywhere if if just to the grandparents.

Reading your post I sympathise with your X.

OP hasn’t returned since her post explaining how she doesn’t work, and spends the weekends relaxing with her new partner …..

i know I would have said ‘oh wow how lovely’ and asked ex for some pictures. Then I’d look at the Pictures later with him so he could tell me all about it

I think its absolutely fine for your ds to go on a trip with his dad and your ex doesn't need permission. I do think it would be polite though for him to let you know about the trip as you co-parent

Are you still in love with your ex and jealous of his current wife?
Aren't you glad your son had a nice time?

So you are the “main” parent because you have your Son 4 nights a week as opposed to his Dad having him 3 nights a week? Seeing as there are only 7 days in a week you can’t exactly split him equally can you? Honestly I’ve never heard something so ridiculous. Are you saying you have never taken your son away somewhere overnight? Not on holiday or to visit family or friends? If that’s the case he’s lucky his Dad actually does something with him! I would understand if he has whisked him off to Europe without you knowing but my god you really do need to find something to occupy your time as your ex sounds like a good Dad who’s enjoying doing things with his child. Most people come on here to moan about their ex not taking an interest in their child when they split up/ meet someone new/ start another family and here is yours doing the exact opposite and you’re composing? He is his parent and has just as much say in his child’s upbringing as you do, he does not need your permission to take his son on an adventure no more than you need his

NRFT but if I read correctly you don’t work, you have a partner but are unmarried.
I don’t profess to know anything about your financial circumstances but you’re leaving yourself in a precarious situation if you’re fully reliant to a man (or woman) to whom you’re not married. Were they to leave you, you’d be entitled to nothing. I’ve seen it on mumsnet far too often. Protect yourself.

Your are wrong and unreasonable. He has PR. He is legally able to make decisions for your joint child. On his time he can take him on a UK break. He needs your permission to take the child abroad but if you refuse he can just get a court order and a court will absolutely allow him to take the child abroad without you. Thus main parent stuff is nonsense. He isnt a Disney dad seeing his kid 4 days a month for a few hours and even then you couldn't do F all about where he goes with the child. You need to wind your neck in.

This is insane. Of course his dad can take him away overnight

He doesn’t need your permission but can you habe a more amicable relationship seeing as you co-parent on an almost 50/50 basis?

i would have liked to see photos

This sounds like jealousy to me - he is having fun with his dad and you appear to be the fun police

BTW you are the 'primary' parent in terms of custody - that is why you get maintenance, as well as you are probably also a lower earner - another reason you are jealous your ex is doing stuff you cannot afford

You are not the 'main' parent and you have no more right to dictate what your ex does in his custody time than he does when your son is with you

I hope you are not being so angry about this in front of your son!!

You are totally bu, are you jealous that your DS has more fun with his DF.
You should thank your ex for giving your DS a good time.

I know it hurts & its hard however you do have to let him do what he thinks is best and expect the same respect for when you have your child. I will never get used to it but aslong as my daughter is safe and happy it is how it has to be sadly

If you have joint parental responsibility he doesn't have to tell you anything.

He shouldn't take him out of the country without your agreement, he probably should let you know if he's not going to be at home as anything could happen, but he def doesn't need your permission.

main parent LOL

this part tells us everything we need to know, typical mum who wants all the benefits/CM, I bet if he asked to be 50/50 you’d still say no, 3 days a week is considerable and it’s upto him what he does in his time, not you.

Re CMS... yes it's only 1 extra day difference but the OP has said she doesn't work and her ex does so that'll be the main reason for maintenence.

I’d be happy my son got to experience something fun!

Yes he could have mentioned it but he didn’t need to ask permission.
also once he starts school you need to look at the childcare split… you’re going to resent him having all weekends for fun.

Thats ridiculous

We have been taking our DD abroad to visit family and on holiday since she was 3 months old. It only disrupts them if you flap about it. Its sleep when all is said and done, as long as they get plenty of it safely and are supervised does it make any difference which postcode its in?

It sounds like you're angry that dad is taking the child on fun trips and not telling you about it. As a parent you should be happy for your child and not jealous about it