To think that Children of the Blitz should be required viewing in these ridiculous times?

With the odd exception, all the young people I know through my own dc (21-17) ARE resilient. They have it harder than I did, with social media pressure, impossible house pricing, shit economy….

My FIL was starved as a child in a Japanese POW camp and the last thing he would have wanted is to use his childhood experience as a ‘I had it tougher than you lot’ argument.

I don't think that was the case in every family actually. My parents were pretty invested in me doing stuff to nurture creativity. I played two instruments, went to dance classes and was taken to see plays,orchestras, galleries and museums. This was in the 80s and 90s. I don't think it was just me as other children took part in the regional orchestra, they went to the dance classes etc. I think w head more freedom on holiday but we had a cottage to stay in and if I stuck with my older brothers we could go to the fields and beach on our own.

Thats literally the plot of The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ones_Who_Walk_Away_from_Omelas

Did any of the posters lauding the stoicism of the contributors actually watch the programme? Almost all of them made it clear
that they were indeed affected negatively by
their experiences. Patsy the tap dancer by her own account was a different person entirely after the war from the happy outgoing five year old she’d been before.

I opened this thread expecting it to be “required viewing” in the context of remembering that there are children right now in war zones experiencing bombs falling on them. This was front and centre of my mind while watching it.

Outstanding piece of television journalism, but not a stick to beat our young people with by any stretch of the imagination

QED.

If you think parenting should only involve the provision of food and clothes and 'duties' like getting them to school, then I really hope you don't have children. That stuff could be done by a robot, or an orphanage. That's not parenting. That's providing for basic physical and educational needs.

I was parented by two people who thought that basic food and shelter was all that was needed (because they didn't even get that from their own upbringing, never mind love, and had absolutely no idea of what was normal), and it is not a recipe for happiness, or for producing well-balanced adults.

the consequences of intergenerational trauma.

Is this the latest 'therapy speak' for the phenomenon previously known as life ?? .....I do agree, however, that that social media is an absolute cancer eating awaiting at society

I think some and some. BUT I also think YABU to think that the war generation are 'stoic'. I would say my mother's neurosis and stress levels are a direct result of being a 'war baby'. OK, so stoical in surviving bombings, and coming to another country after the war, but she has a lot of mental health problems which I'm pretty convinced are consistent with a fractured, frightening childhood. So yes, stoical they may appear, but actually I think there is a lot of generational trauma going on. Perhaps the more modern approach of talking things through and being more open about stress etc is healthier?

I work with a lot of young people. They’re educated, sensible, hard working, sociable, and just normal people.

Admittedly we wouldn’t recruit someone who doesn’t have resilience or other qualities we want, but I simply don’t recognise this stereotype of young people.

They’ve got it so much harder now than when I was coming through in the early 2000s. In those days anyone with a 2:1 could easily walk into my profession; graduate traineeships were ten a penny, and although the top ones were competitive, there was a route somewhere for anyone half decent who wanted to do it.

Now there are four rounds of interviews and assessment centres and 500 applicants for every role. There’s no way I’d have ever got through.

Complete agree OP.

Also what is this obsession with social anxiety? It’s hysterical. Is that all you have to focus on?

Thankful for what?

A burning planet with all that brings and a world lead by dictators at war with far worse weapons, dire work and housing prospects, dying NHS and other services, war, death torture and abuse at their fingertips in their rooms, SM pressures, addictive screens shoved down their faces everywhere…..are not small fry!

What are you on.

Do you know what social anxiety IS though?

I was diagnosed with it many years ago, alongside depression. Turned out I have ADHD. Not anxiety/depression.

It’s my belief that many people with ADHD in the past were able to cope a lot better due to the slower pace of life. Today we deal with outrageous stressors that many brains simply can’t handle. Looking back, most members of my family were clearly ND but I think they were able to hide it (not that some of them didn’t suffer hugely) from many simply because the demands on their disregulated brains were much less.

(oversimplification alert; don’t come at me)

raises hand Gen X here and relating to this so hard.

I think the only thing that saved me from being a terrible parent myself is that I was almost 40 before I became a mum. In the intervening years I got to know how many other families operated and that you could do things very differently.

I still feel like a terrible mother and my kids are dealing with a lot due to unavoidable (I mean literally) circumstances. They are so incredibly resilient. From the outside our family probably looks like it’s failing at life but I reckon many others in my teens’ situation wouldn’t even be able to get out of bed.

I think you’re somewhat missing the point. This isn’t about teaching people to put up with things they shouldn’t put up with. It’s about teaching resilience and that discomfort can be survived and thrived through. It’s also about teaching people to be more thankful and have a better perspective that we are very lucky today compared to how people had it in the past; that today’s ’big deals’ are relative small fry to what has gone on in the past. If people could get through the blitz, they can get through social anxiety, for example; it doesn’t have to define their lives.

People have always committed suicide and been institutionalised. Better 5% of the population is very unhappy, and 95% are content, than all being miserable together.

I agree. Parenting used to mean providing a certain level of care - bathing them, providing meals, clean clothes - and duties like walking them to school, helping with homework.

Now you’re a full time psychotherapist, careers advisor, friend, companion and diary secretary. Absolute madness and the kids are not better off for it

All the anxious NEETS I know have very enabling parents who haven’t ever been ‘tough love’ towards them.

YANBU.

I have always felt that necessity, business, duty are all very good for mental health. Hence why very few people who go on benefits long term for MH come off them - sitting at home doomscrolling and watching TV all day, and focussing on themselves, makes it all 100 times worse and renders people unemployable.

It’s amazing what people can do through necessity, and never ending safety nets are standing in peoples’ way.

Well, I was talking about my grandmother's generation (the Blitz generation) who wanted things 'better' for their children.

Unfortunately, the result of that - at a societal level - has been to produce a generation who are entitled and imagine they're not. Of course there are individual people in that generation who worked bloody hard and had a rough time, but as a generation, the children of people who lived through the Blitz have had unprecedented advantages.

(FWIW, my DD does have freedom, and I'm super aware of how lucky she is. But I had to make quite specific choices in order to make that work!)

I think the Silent Generation are highly respected by nearly everyone in the UK. The generational issues are to do with the Boomers who came after the war.

Those children often went on to be the emotional stilted/neglectful/abusive "tough love" parents of Gen X. Gen X are known for their disconnected and avoidant attachment style (extreme independence, difficulty expressing emotions, great problem solvers), who have in turn struggled to adapt to parenting Millennials and Gen Z/A and who are only now learning about the consequences of intergenerational trauma.
Maybe ask Gen Z/A how it's working out for them - plus they have to deal with a 24/7 social media world.

The boomer generation are far less resilient than today’s younger people

I'd like to watch the programme and agree that people of that generation were brave and resilient, though they were encouraged to bury their feelings and not confront the pain of those years.

But:
My 15 year old - incredibly strong and stoic
My DM (in her eighties now) - the least stoic person on the planet.

You can't generalise and with it, wipe out the positive attributes of an entire generation.

I agree. Extraordinary, very moving stories . I am not often moved to tears but the man who spoke about the death of his disabled sister and their relationship had me in floods. But I was cheering and laughing with joy at the tap dancer still giving it out in her kitchen. RIP you wonderful woman.