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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Concerns over neighbours lifestyle choices.

285 replies

HumbleHun · 17/05/2026 01:17

So my neighbours teenage son has been smoking doobies in the garden with his parents consent. His father is a policeman and actually a firearms officer. I'm concerned that he may be using Ur at least getting high from the passive smoking. I want to report him to his superiors but DH is adamantly against it and says I'm being dramatic. Really between a rock and a hard place. AIBU if I report him?

OP posts:
Happyyellowsunflower · 18/05/2026 07:36

@HumbleHun Is doobie slang for weed? I hate the smell. You’re not overreacting. You’ve somehow attracted lots of people who use weed to your post. Im in my 20s and I don’t want the weed stench near my child.

loislovesstewie · 18/05/2026 07:25

Just go round and speak to your neighbour. Is it that hard?

Greypanda86 · 18/05/2026 07:23

Probably one of the funniest comment sections I’ve seen on MN 😂😂 the OP keep commenting ‘stop notifications, delete thread’ has made my day 😂😂 and my favourite is the OP saying she waits 48 hours after drinking a couple of glasses of wine before using an iron 😂😂😂😂

Overworkedandknackered · 18/05/2026 07:21

I wouldn’t be happy about it either, the stuff stinks and I’d expect better from a police officer, however if you report him he will find out it was you and could make your life hell so I’d ignore it.

Pineapplewhip · 18/05/2026 06:55

HumbleHun · 17/05/2026 01:55

I have hun. Live in a 4 bedroom detached, 2 children excelling at school and well respected in my neighborhood. Don't be bitter get better.

So just admit that your concern isnt his father getting second hand high and going to work, it's you thinking your neighbourhood is too highbrow for the devils lettuce, Mrs Bucket.

Look - I wouldn't like the smell either, especially with children in the house or washing on the line. But I'd have a word about the smell neighbour to neighbour. If I was really that pissed off I'd probably raise an eyebrow and say "im surprised a police officer like yourself is happy with this?!"

To report him to his superiors at work, possibly triggering a suspension and ruining his life for several months - is a fucking insane over-reaction, because you dislike the smell of weed.

Steeleydan · 18/05/2026 06:51

HumbleHun · 17/05/2026 02:14

12% agree and the sensible ones will be in bed now and the drunks and insomniacs skewing the results voting with a foggy head. By lunch tommorow igl be alot closer.

Why don't you have a word with the father say when he's smoking in garden you cant let your kids out because of the smell.
In a roundabout way(I don't know how) tell his father in his position as a policeman it's a bit of a sham his son smokes weed,not very law abiding!!

ComfyKnickers · 18/05/2026 06:45

HumbleHun · 17/05/2026 01:55

I have hun. Live in a 4 bedroom detached, 2 children excelling at school and well respected in my neighborhood. Don't be bitter get better.

You sound nice

DancingNotDrowning · 18/05/2026 06:41

Ah OP this was a funny thread and good for you coming back and apologising.

i actually agree in part with you: I feel uncomfortable about a police officer allowing their DC to smoke weed. Whether you agree with the law or not is moot, it is illegal and the police don’t get to choose what they do/don’t enforce.

it shows a lack of judgment and I suspect that the police would be concerned about the activity.

DontShoutInMyEarholeTracey · 18/05/2026 06:12

Bristolandlazy · 17/05/2026 18:28

It's not a gateway drug. It's not a big deal he's smoking weed. A lot more people than you probably realise smoke weed and they have jobs, children etc, they don't all turn to crack addicts. You're massively over reacting. The police aren't going to give a shite about someone smoking weed in their own garden.

Crimes related to cannabis consumption fall into two main categories: offenses directly committed due to intoxication and crimes committed by violating drug prohibition laws.

Direct Offenses Linked to Consumption
While cannabis typically has a calming effect, heavy, continued, or high-potency use can trigger severe negative effects that lead to criminal behavior.

Driving Under the Influence (DUI/DWD): Operating a motor vehicle while impaired by THC significantly impairs reaction times and cognitive function, making the driver highly susceptible to motor-vehicle accidents.

Psychosis and Violence: In some individuals, particularly youth and those with pre-existing mental health conditions, high-potency cannabis can induce temporary cannabis-induced psychosis. Neurological studies have linked chronic use to impaired decision-making centers in the brain, correlating with impulsive or violent offenses, including intimate partner violence.

Violations of Drug Laws - In many jurisdictions, the act of consuming, possessing, or cultivating cannabis itself remains a crime.

Possession and Use: In the UK, cannabis is a Class B drug. Possession is illegal and can lead to up to 5 years in prison, an unlimited fine, or both. Police may issue warnings or on-the-spot Penalty Notices for Disorder (PND) for minor, first-time offenses.

Supply and Production: Dealing, supplying, or commercially cultivating cannabis without a license is a serious offense carrying a maximum sentence of up to 14 years in prison.

"Gateway" and Acquisitive Crime
The necessity to fund drug habits or interact within illicit supply chains can lead to other crimes. Some studies suggest heavy, early adolescent use is linked to higher rates of acquisitive crime (such as shoplifting and property crime) and progression into harder, illegally sourced narcotics.

Understand the Laws and Guidelines:
For specific details on UK enforcement and legal limits, review the GOV.UK Drugs Penalties overview. To explore how drug policies affect broader crime rates, you can also consult the analysis provided by the NCBI on Cannabis and Violent Crime.

Drugs penalties

The penalties if you are caught taking or dealing drugs - drug classification, fines and prison sentences

https://www.gov.uk/penalties-drug-possession-dealing

DontShoutInMyEarholeTracey · 18/05/2026 06:02

Wow, some of the responses on this thread are just plain nasty.
Different circumstances but I once had neighbours who smoked cannabis in their own home and the stench of it stunk out my entire home. There was no escape from it, made me feel sick and opening windows in the didn’t clear it.
Police can’t or won’t do much about it especially when the people smoking cannabis say it’s for medical reasons.
I personally wouldn’t get involved OP. You have no evidence if policeman / firearms officer is using. If he is then he will get caught eventually.

harriethoyle · 18/05/2026 05:38

HumbleHun · 17/05/2026 12:50

Hi, apologies for last nights emotional rudeness to folks replying with opinions I didn't like. I got myself into quite a state about what I now realise is a situation I should keep out of. Family and pet problems plus a few bottles of wine equals extremely embarrassed HH. Will be a silent reader for now until I learn how to engage properly on these threads. Thankyou also to the few helpful souls last night that reached out when in my drunken and anxious state I couldn't silence the notifications. 2 of them of them I had been rude to and upset but they still offered instructions. Take care and enjoy rest of the weekend.

Well let’s hope you stay away from the iron for at least 48 hours having had a skinful!! 😬👀

Hengzhi · 18/05/2026 04:40

If you report him, I’m worried you might face retaliation from his family.

MyGammyEye · 18/05/2026 04:32

ImFinePMSL · 18/05/2026 04:29

I know far too many people who have died as a result of alcohol consumption.

I don’t know a single soul who has died as a result of smoking cannabis.

You come across as one hell of a sheltered pathetic individual.

I've never got on with it. I chucked a whitey once and that was enough for me! I was 47 🤣

ImFinePMSL · 18/05/2026 04:29

HumbleHun · 17/05/2026 02:00

Alcohol legal and wears off the next day.. marijuana illegal and warps the brain. See the difference?

I know far too many people who have died as a result of alcohol consumption.

I don’t know a single soul who has died as a result of smoking cannabis.

You come across as one hell of a sheltered pathetic individual.

ForeverTheOptomist · 18/05/2026 03:48

daleylama · 17/05/2026 03:15

Stop it! I'm trying to nod off but this thread has me in hysterics now

Me too!! - some time later! So glad OP couldn't find the delete thread icon!

DeepRubySwan · 18/05/2026 02:10

Just mind your own business.

Corvidsarethebest · 18/05/2026 02:03

Op, sounds like a rough few days made you lose perspective a bit.

Just for the record, firearms officers undergo random drugs testing more than other officers due to the increased risk. The officer will know this and act accordingly.

wandawaves · 18/05/2026 01:41

HumbleHun · 17/05/2026 12:50

Hi, apologies for last nights emotional rudeness to folks replying with opinions I didn't like. I got myself into quite a state about what I now realise is a situation I should keep out of. Family and pet problems plus a few bottles of wine equals extremely embarrassed HH. Will be a silent reader for now until I learn how to engage properly on these threads. Thankyou also to the few helpful souls last night that reached out when in my drunken and anxious state I couldn't silence the notifications. 2 of them of them I had been rude to and upset but they still offered instructions. Take care and enjoy rest of the weekend.

Goodness. No ironing for you today OP!

ItstoolateformeDaveyourselves · 18/05/2026 01:40

@HumbleHun I hope today was a good day for you and I will say thank you for making me smile.

I'll be honest, this morning I was laughing out loud at the "stop comments, hide thread quotes to yourself". And at this moment in my life I need a laugh.

Thank you for coming back and explaining, I think most of us have been there at some point or another.

I do hope your pet is ok, it is hard when they are struggling. Hope you feel ok now.

TourdeFrance25 · 18/05/2026 01:23

professionalcommentreader · 17/05/2026 01:29

Goodness not heard the term Doobie for about 30 years.

Me either!! 😂😂

Papster · 18/05/2026 01:18

Evaka · 17/05/2026 01:34

There's no decision to make, other than to extract your beak. You're being bonkers.

He’s using beak too?

MarchionessVonSausage · 18/05/2026 01:10

Laura95167 · 17/05/2026 21:12

No. Thats not a dilemma, its reporting a crime youve imagined.

If its a legal concern, the son is perhaps liable for a fine should the police catch him smoking

If its a moral concern why are you their morals monitor?

"Fine he might not get high from passive smoke but he may be smoking it himself indoors" is bonkers. You have no reason to suspect the parents are also smoking. I mean why stop there.. he may be drinking indoors then driving, or he my be beating his wife in doors.. or he may be commiting Internet fraud indoors etc etc

It isnt a dilemma to debate reporting a crime that possibly could be happening. Its wasting police time.

At very best you could report the smoking you saw in the garden, and at very best an officer may come out and have a word.

RTFT. The OP has apologized for sounding mad.

SnowFrogJelly · 18/05/2026 01:05

Doobie doo doo

OneDreamyGreenMentor · 17/05/2026 23:55

This is the most bonkers thread I’ve seen in a while on here.
YABU Op, just mind your own business.

Silvercoconut · 17/05/2026 23:51

HumbleHun · 17/05/2026 02:17

I know but I'd just be raising concerns and if he is clean ten yes got nothing to worry about. If he is a junkie like his DS then IV helped prevent a potential loose cannon roaming the streets with a firearms. Maybe I'm over thinking it but better to be safe than sorry

You sound quite mad🤣🤣

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