To be sick of my hobbies being judged differently just because I’m fat?

So, one person made a stupid comment and now you think the entire world is judging your hobby.

Come on now. If I had stopped dong things every time I ever heard a snarky comment from some random arsehole I'd never have achieved half the things in my life that I have.

By this rationale, none of us would ever leave the house because no matter what we do, someone, somewhere is going to judge. Surely you realise you cannot live your life like this?

People say all sorts of nonsense whether you’re fat or slim.

i was very slim as a teen/young adult and got quite a lot of stick (if you pardon the pun), for it so hater’s gonna hate Im afraid (and you just need to ignore it).

I wish I could run (I’m a slow and have arthritic knee) and I def admire that in you!
plus I’ve tried crochet, just can’t do it. Even went to a sewing circle to learn - there were slim and larger ladies there - size was no issue. Loads of people I know do crochet - I’m in awe of some of their creations

Skinnies are always trying to be offended on these type of threads, simply because their behaviour towards plus size people is not acceptable and they can't stand being called out for it.

I wish the OP the best against in a society run by these people. They always have to try and bring you down.

Yes, people can be cruel to anyone they perceive as not conventionally attractive (might be weight, might even be race).

Call them out every time. A PP gave great examples of questions you can ask “Why do you think that?” Or ask “Why do you think that is okay to say to me?”

More disappointing than the people who do this is all the people who will swear blind it does not happen despite several studies on Pretty Privilege. It is like they live their lives with eyes wide shut and little curiosity or empathy to understand others.

Why do you care what other people think about your hobbies? I don't care what other people think about my hobbies! They are mine - I do what I like with my spare time.

Ignore tbe idiots. As long as you're happy with what you're doing. Fuck em!

@hobbiesevademe I think you are overtaking this massively. I don't think your college said “you need to get a life” because you are fat. It's more because they find it boring and wanted to make a joke.
You need to stop thinking about yourself as fat. And stop thinking that everyone else also thinks that you are fat. Truth is, nobody really cares. 99.9999% of this is in your head.

Oh, my heart bleeds.

There is something wrong with your colleagues! I’d be like wow that’s so great what do you sew? I run, I bake, I read, and I’m an aspirational sewer and I’d think that all sounds awesome.

So does my niece, but she’s gay and so are probably at least half of her team.

So that would be a fail to meet guys. 😂

Have you heard those same colleagues speak differently to skinny colleagues who like sewing? Because it sounds like your colleagues are just arseholes, nothing to do with your weight.

How do you know that these comments are linked to you being overweight?

call them out ‘and you need to get some manners - or are you always this rude?’ Not easy at all, but generally we’re trained to be the ‘good girl’ which includes staying quiet. Unbelievably rude.

I have had different hobbies at different sizes not once have I ever thought anyone has judged me because of my size

I would say people have enough going on in theit own lives to be that into judging others, yet I know people who seem to constantly feel judged

But I think that person would have said that to you even if you were slim?

If a slim person said they were going to spend their weekend knitting or sewing, they absolutely would have gotten the same response.

I adore crafting and other cottagecore-adjacent activities - baking, sewing, needle felting etc - and to me, that sounds like a blissful weekend.

But there are others that would view those kinds of activities as something to fill the time and secondary to going out and meeting friends. Hence the half-jokey “get a life” comment because to them, it will seem like you’re wasting a weekend.

Personally, a weekend spent littering around the home doing crafts is absolute peak enjoyment.

Others won’t view it that way. I give no shits about that.

You need to find your tribe OP. While it’s certainly true that chubbier women get judged more in certain ways, I don’t think that’s what’s going on here. How old are you OP, if you don’t mind me asking?

Do you really think this would have played out any differently if you were slim?

I think you've convinced yourself that examples like this are only caused because of your weight. This is nothing to do with your weight. Maybe this person is just a bitch. Maybe they thought it was a joke. Most likely they are just 1 of many extremely judgemental people who thinks their way to do life is the only correct way. People like this don't understand hobbies they can't relate to and don't get why you wouldn't rather be doing the things they and all they associate with, enjoy.

I've seen it on mumsnet a couple of times where posters are worrying about their late teen children who don't like to be going on nights out, acting concerned that they are missing out on the life they had at that age.

I'm slim. Always have been. Just 2 examples like yours I have had since I no longer like nights out (and before the nights out ended):

• Took a day off work as Gino de campo was coming to my town. Was called 'sad'. Lot of laughs made about it, as he was very minor celeb at the time.
• Asked what plans are for the weekend. Sunny weekend was forecast. I said I'm going to spend the weekend gardening as 1st sunny day we had in months. They said I need to get out more. My response was but I will be outside the whole time.

I know what I like doing most of the time is not the same as the majority. I'm OK with that and own it. We can't all be the same.

You got a wide and varied set of hobbies that make you more interesting than most. Own it. Know it is different and be proud of that. Let them judge. Banter back if you can. If they say "you need to get a life", say "oh do tell me, what are your superior plans this weekend?" If it something you think is shit, say no wouldn't be for me, can't think of anything worse. If they say something you do sometimes. Then just develop the conversation to "I do that some weekends, I last done it .... and ask them more on what their plans are. Any negativity will soon be washed over.

You can't change the world and the thoughtless people in it, but you can change your response

How do they know you're fat on the running forum? And maybe your colleagues would tell a skinny person that they think sewing is frumpy, and the sewer needs to get a life. It sounds like you may be projecting your own insecurities onto others' statements, based on the little you've said.

Although there will always be some people who have something negative to say. I'm skinny, and have had a few comments made in regards to my baking - 'Oh, you need to eat more of your baking!' or 'It can't be that good if you're still so thin!' etc. But those sorts of people will always find something to pick at, and are best just ignored.

Have you actually heard these people that say these things to you praise skinny people for doing the same, or are they just negative Nelly's in general?

As a fat person people are always impressed with my sewing and knitting.
And they always encourage my exercise.
They are happy to hear about any hobby!

Is someone actually saying any of this to you OP or is it in your head? Sounds like you’re doing awesomely to me. Switch the negative soundtrack off. Xx

It sounds like you are working with / in contact with some people who totally suck.

It is certainly true that people who are widely considered 'hot' (and let's be honest, thinner people are more likely to be put in that category, but it's not by any means enough to guarantee it on its own) get treated better. People are just generally nicer to you when they think you look good. It comes with a bit of power.

However:

• people seen as 'hot' also get some nasty creepy shit too so it isn't all rosey. How much of the positive feedback you see / hear other people getting is really about others trying to suck up to them / slobber over them for sexually motivated purposes or, in the case of heterosexual women, out of a desire to suck up to someone they want to emulate or associate with in the hope of getting some second hand stardust?
• anyone in a running community who is remotely worth listening to or associating with would NOT mock / criticise any other runner or tell them to 'get a move on' in the context of a forum. Only arseholes do this. Unless you are hoping to make some sort of high-powered competitive running team, no one should give you this sort of feedback, whatever your weight.
• anyone who tells you to 'get a life' or generally belittles or dismisses your hobbies is just not someone worth associating with any more than you have to. It sounds like an incredibly rude and immature response.

I'm sorry you have to face this hurtful shit but I really hope you can distance yourself from these people where you can. Such utter rubbish. Presumably you do these things because you enjoy them or care about them, not because you want popularity. Anyone who deserves your time and attention would not speak to you in this ridiculous way.

All great hobbies. Try and crack on. I'm surprised you've had such negativity in all of them OP - if it's the same people each time, they really are not nice. You definitely need to find a wider circle.

YANB entirely U though; I'm not surprised at some of the comments you've had regarding a couple of your hobbies.

I need to lose some weight after injury. Mention a whiff of a new form of exercise to the wrong person my mum and they will light up with unflattering hope. Don't think they always even know they're doing it, but there's a subtle yet definite coo-at-the-toddler-going-on-the-potty-for-the-first-time energy that you just know it based on your body. It's palpable.

I also quite like baking and used to bake and take the results in to my last job. Often pretty big cakes as a) the joy for me is in the baking, b) I like cooking for others and c) this way I wasn't eating them beyond maybe 1 slice of cake, 1 cookie etc. Commented to someone (who was a ooo friend as well as a colleague) during a general conversation about body image that I was trying to be more mindful with food. The greedy and large bastard confidently said perhaps baking less would help. Despite seeing whole, untouched cakes come in to work and having his own snout so well in the trough he had to re do a fitness test. I simply doubt he'd have felt confident to comment at all on my baking I had been skinnier.

best advice, do what you prefer @hobbiesevademe

As Ted Lasso said
Be curious not judgemental

very uplifting science Google it @hobbiesevademe if you haven’t see it
(Ted plays darts with Richard Ted Lasso)
should do it to fine the YouTube clip

Can I recommend Every Body Outdoors for women who are a size 16/18+