Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be thinking about kids 5 months in?

47 replies

rachel55488 · 16/05/2026 19:03

I’ve been with my boyfriend 5 months but for some reason I’m really frustrated on the fact that I don’t know what’s going to happen with my future. I feel rushed on the kids thing only because of his age. He’s 42.. and I’m 31. There ls not a lot of time left for him. I have a 6 year old and his kids are 14 and 21🤣 I always swore I’d never have another one as I have adhd and my mental health isn’t that great at the minute but I’m so scared if this time in ten years I regret not having another one! Aibu cause it’s so early on? I literally know I never want to be without this man already

OP posts:
Larrythecatforpm · 16/05/2026 21:16

rachel55488 · 16/05/2026 21:15

I personally think it’s because I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my life

Show quote history

That doesn’t mean the same for him. Unfortunately 5 months isn’t enough time to really know someone.

Original poster
rachel55488 · 16/05/2026 21:15

VyeBrator · 16/05/2026 21:09

So why are you thinking about having kids with a guy you've barely been with for 5 minutes?

If his age is a problem for you, you need to hook up with someone younger.

Show quote history

I personally think it’s because I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my life

OP posts:
Larrythecatforpm · 16/05/2026 21:15

Christ, he shouldn’t of really met your kid yet let alone thinking of having a baby with him! Give your head a wobble

Overthebow · 16/05/2026 21:14

Don’t do it now, you’ve only been together 5 months, that’s nothing. Think about your 6 year old, don’t rush anything, even moving in let alone a baby. What would happen if you’re not compatible long term and you’re left a single mum with a 6 year old and a baby, could you cope with that?

RaspberryFeet · 16/05/2026 21:14

I don’t know why the ‘kids thing’ is even crossing your mind. You’ve got a six year old, that’s a very young child who has already had some disruption. Just enjoy her and enjoy your new relationship. Have fun rather than worry about babies and making your situation more difficult.

VyeBrator · 16/05/2026 21:09

rachel55488 · 16/05/2026 21:06

She is and always will be my priority

Show quote history

So why are you thinking about having kids with a guy you've barely been with for 5 minutes?

If his age is a problem for you, you need to hook up with someone younger.

Original poster
rachel55488 · 16/05/2026 21:06

VyeBrator · 16/05/2026 21:05

The child you already have should be your priority here OP.

Not the new bloke and not whether you'll want more kids in the future.

But your actual child.

She is and always will be my priority

OP posts:
VyeBrator · 16/05/2026 21:05

The child you already have should be your priority here OP.

Not the new bloke and not whether you'll want more kids in the future.

But your actual child.

Original poster
rachel55488 · 16/05/2026 21:00

slashlover · 16/05/2026 19:55

Has he said he wants a child with you?

Show quote history

He said he would if we lived together but literally like next year he means

OP posts:
Original poster
rachel55488 · 16/05/2026 20:59

excelledyourself · 16/05/2026 20:12

Nobody should be rushing anyone. Although it’s not actually clear to me that he wants another.

Presumably your 6yo barely knows him, if she’s even met him yet. So thinking about adding another to the mix is madness. Just enjoy it for what it is for now.

Yeah I Probly do just need to enjoy it don’t even know why I’m thinkin about it tbh!

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 16/05/2026 20:26

rachel55488 · 16/05/2026 19:14

It’s me that just feels a bit rushed because of his age

Show quote history

I don’t think he’s too old wait a couple of years and see how you feel then and watch him closely to see how helpful he is and how well he looks after you and cares about your rest

excelledyourself · 16/05/2026 20:12

Nobody should be rushing anyone. Although it’s not actually clear to me that he wants another.

Presumably your 6yo barely knows him, if she’s even met him yet. So thinking about adding another to the mix is madness. Just enjoy it for what it is for now.

slashlover · 16/05/2026 19:55

rachel55488 · 16/05/2026 19:14

It’s me that just feels a bit rushed because of his age

Show quote history

Has he said he wants a child with you?

Ilikewinter · 16/05/2026 19:29

CamillaMcCauley · 16/05/2026 19:21

This feels like it has disaster written all over it. Blending a family, age gap pressure and neurodiversity (is your ADHD medicated and managed?). Five months is way too ludicrously short to either know you want to be with him forever.

This!

CamillaMcCauley · 16/05/2026 19:21

This feels like it has disaster written all over it. Blending a family, age gap pressure and neurodiversity (is your ADHD medicated and managed?). Five months is way too ludicrously short to either know you want to be with him forever.

Original poster
rachel55488 · 16/05/2026 19:14

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 16/05/2026 19:12

I’m unclear on who wants another kids and who wants the decision now? Does he want you to promise to have one?

It’s me that just feels a bit rushed because of his age

OP posts:
Original poster
rachel55488 · 16/05/2026 19:13

Moonlightfrog · 16/05/2026 19:10

From another ADHD’er…….don’t do it. You would be crazy too. I totally get why you want too but it would be a crazy idea.

I know! I find it hard even with my 6 year old. Just can’t imagine not goin through pregnancy and me and my ex broke up when my daughter was 6 months and it was covid times and it just wasn’t a good experience. I would love to experience it with someone I actually love /:

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 16/05/2026 19:12

I’m unclear on who wants another kids and who wants the decision now? Does he want you to promise to have one?

Moonlightfrog · 16/05/2026 19:10

From another ADHD’er…….don’t do it. You would be crazy too. I totally get why you want too but it would be a crazy idea.

BinNightTonight · 16/05/2026 19:05

Im sorry, but from what you (briefly) describe, I dont think you should be rushing into having a baby with a man you've been with for 5 months. Put your 6 yo first and reevaluate in a few years, if your mental health is better. You have tonnes of time and so does he, men have children much later!

mumofoneAloneandwell · 16/05/2026 19:05

Kindly girl, yabvu x

ToKittyornottoKitty · 16/05/2026 19:05

Of course YABU! Why does he even want another kid when his are grown up? Your mental health isn’t great and you’ve lived no life with this guy, having another kid would be irresponsible and probably ruin the relationship. Enjoy getting to know him, and eventually introducing him to your child and seeing how they get on, then maybe try living together one day. So many essential steps to follow before considering kids with this guy

Swipe left for the next trending thread