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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think most serious incidents are preceded by warning signs?

36 replies

WryJadeWren · 16/05/2026 17:06

I don’t mean that everything bad is predictable or that people are to blame for not spotting things. But I’ve been thinking about how often, in hindsight, major incidents - accidents, conflicts, breakdowns, even crises, seem to have earlier warning signs that were minimised, normalised or ignored at the time.
Sometimes those signs only make sense looking back and sometimes they’re uncomfortable to act on.

AIBU to think we’re often taught to downplay early signals rather than take them seriously?

OP posts:
Fandango52 · 16/05/2026 17:28

WryJadeWren · 16/05/2026 17:25

Things like repeated safety concerns before major accidents, escalating behaviour before relationship breakdowns or violence, burnout signs before someone completely crashes mentally, institutional problems that people internally knew about before scandals come out. Not that every bad thing is predicable but more that hindsight often reveals patterns/signals that were minimised or rationalised at the time

That’s still really broad - you’ve mentioned four different things. The consensus so far seems to be that some, but not all, serious incidents are preceded by warning signs. May I ask why you’ve started this thread? Are you doing some academic research or something?

WryJadeWren · 16/05/2026 17:25

Fandango52 · 16/05/2026 17:18

Can you give an example? This is quite a broad topic!

Things like repeated safety concerns before major accidents, escalating behaviour before relationship breakdowns or violence, burnout signs before someone completely crashes mentally, institutional problems that people internally knew about before scandals come out. Not that every bad thing is predicable but more that hindsight often reveals patterns/signals that were minimised or rationalised at the time

OP posts:
Uricon2 · 16/05/2026 17:20

Sometimes the warning signs are there but actually intervening/doing something at the stage where some will see them and some won't is another matter.

WW2? Yes, everyone should have been able to see where Germany was heading, but there was an understandable desperation to avoid another conflict after the horrors of WWI.

Personal example? I ignored the signs of developing sepsis with a temp of over 40 and my kidneys packing up because it was the weekend and I'm a full time carer for DH. If a medical friend hadn't questioned me closely via Whatsapp about the symptoms and insisted I called an ambulance that minute or they would, I'd be dead.

Hindsight is 20/20. We are human and screw up, accidentally, at times.

BillieWiper · 16/05/2026 17:19

Well with conflicts there's obviously a reason and it'll have been building up to that level. With accidents, genuine ones, there is probably not really much warning.

Things like mechanical failures in theme parks, on ships, planes etc will also always have reasons behind them. Something has gone wrong at least once in a process that's supposed to be very robust.

As for people dying...well my dad had a heart attack and claimed he was fine, was in hospital for a few days and came home. Two months later he had a fatal one. I should've seen the first one as a warning sign but it wasn't like I could've somehow stopped him dying. But I guess I shouldn't have been so shocked. But I was only a child.

So yeah. Usually there are sequences of events that lead up to something major happening. But it doesn't mean you'd be able to stop it. At least you hopefully learn from what went wrong for next time.

Fandango52 · 16/05/2026 17:18

WryJadeWren · 16/05/2026 17:16

I agree not everything has warning signs, some things are genuinely sudden/random.
I was more talking about how often people later say things like “looking back, there were signs something wasn’t right.”

Can you give an example? This is quite a broad topic!

efeslight · 16/05/2026 17:18

I think there are often warning signs prior to a disaster. There is the swiss cheese model, when all possible problems align on one occasion, when prior to that one occasion the problems have all occurred but not all at the same time.

WryJadeWren · 16/05/2026 17:16

Fandango52 · 16/05/2026 17:11

What do you mean by this? I think it’s sometimes true, but not always! For instances, sometimes people are diagnosed with - or die of - serious illnesses or conditions that they develop with no warning signs.

I agree not everything has warning signs, some things are genuinely sudden/random.
I was more talking about how often people later say things like “looking back, there were signs something wasn’t right.”

OP posts:
Fandango52 · 16/05/2026 17:11

What do you mean by this? I think it’s sometimes true, but not always! For instances, sometimes people are diagnosed with - or die of - serious illnesses or conditions that they develop with no warning signs.

MissyB1 · 16/05/2026 17:10

I think some people don’t listen to their gut instincts, they doubt themselves.

lightand · 16/05/2026 17:09

I have put YABU
re the taught to down play stuff.

But toally agree with you re early warning signs.
I cant understand why people ignore them.

A bit like people not doing exercises when they are prescribed by a physio.

iamtryingtobecivil · 16/05/2026 17:09

Sounds like hindsight bias.

Maybe in some instances there is ‘don’t make a fuss/rock the boat’ mindset hoping it’s wrong or goes away as it’s too much of an uncomfortable truth or effort to address

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