Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH wont leave

194 replies

Rainymay12 · 16/05/2026 17:03

Dh refusing to leave. I have asked him to leave, I have had enough. I work to pay all bills and get his card “here and there” to “pop to the shop” i do all house work, childcare school runs whilst he spend 7 days a week working for his Dad’s buisness of which he gwts a tiny wage and we see none of it. Recently his mother has been more than horrific towards me and he has been so so complacent about it, he is complacent about everything, the house needs replastering and lots of work outside, we need a new car we need a new lawnmower my tumble dryer is on the blink. Im spending yet another weekend solo parenting with no car. I asked him to leave at linch time. He laughed and said hes not leaving to be without the kids. Do I pack up with kids and go? This is nothing new ive had countless convos about things needing to change, with countless promises..

OP posts:
Daisymail · 16/05/2026 19:10

Becuriousnotjudgemental1980 · 16/05/2026 17:18

If it’s your dad’s house don’t leave. Wait til he’s out, pack his stuff and change the locks.

This.

WallaceinAnderland · 16/05/2026 19:10

He does have rights. Even if he is not on the tenancy agreement, they are married and it is the marital home. OP cannot just change the locks.

Namechangeforthisdilemma1 · 16/05/2026 19:09

MissyB1 · 16/05/2026 17:21

Tell your dad you want dh out. He can give you both notice, and as pps said he can then rent to you and the kids. Meanwhile see a solicitor and start divorce proceedings.

This!

ToKittyornottoKitty · 16/05/2026 19:07

mumofoneAloneandwell · 16/05/2026 19:04

Hes a shite husband - op needs to take charge here. And its her dad's house as well, hes got no respect.

Doesn’t mean locking him out is ok. It’s unfair to him
and very shit and potentially damaging for her kids witnessing the shit show that will follow. They are parents and need to act like adults, they are stuck raising kids together wether they like it or not.

Pessismistic · 16/05/2026 19:05

Hi op you don’t leave if he’s not on any paperwork you just change the locks. Also don’t do anything for him and report his parents for underpaying as the minimum wage should be followed by all employers. He is a cheeky bastard not contributing anything towards the house or his kids he will only want the kids to spite you. Tell him to fuck off to his mother. He is a waste of space start the divorce asap and make sure you write everything down that you do and pay for.

WallaceinAnderland · 16/05/2026 19:04

Illegally evicting a tenant in the UK is a criminal and civil offence.

Landlords or agents who harass or unlawfully force tenants out can face up to 2 years in prison and/or unlimited fines.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 16/05/2026 19:04

ToKittyornottoKitty · 16/05/2026 19:02

Yes it would, it’s his home too.

Hes a shite husband - op needs to take charge here. And its her dad's house as well, hes got no respect.

ThatLemonBee · 16/05/2026 19:04

Please stop giving bad advice , the op can end teh tenancy , if one of te tenants end it it ends for both . Yes he may still refuse to leave and make her dad go to the court but it’s doable

ToKittyornottoKitty · 16/05/2026 19:02

mumofoneAloneandwell · 16/05/2026 19:00

There are some laws that you break that make you a bellend

This isnt one of them

Yes it would, it’s his home too.

WallaceinAnderland · 16/05/2026 19:02

mumofoneAloneandwell · 16/05/2026 19:00

There are some laws that you break that make you a bellend

This isnt one of them

What do you mean?

mumofoneAloneandwell · 16/05/2026 19:00

WallaceinAnderland · 16/05/2026 18:59

That's illegal too

There are some laws that you break that make you a bellend

This isnt one of them

WallaceinAnderland · 16/05/2026 18:59

mumofoneAloneandwell · 16/05/2026 18:59

Youre both too enmeshed with your families sorry

But, change the locks and tell your dad that he's not welcome back.

Then call the police if he shows up

That's illegal too

ToKittyornottoKitty · 16/05/2026 18:59

You asked him to leave a few hours ago, of course he’s not immediately left and made himself homeless. You need a proper discussion about it when he’s home and then decide next steps. Don’t take the kids from their own home right now, they need their home. Does he actually have somewhere he can go?

mumofoneAloneandwell · 16/05/2026 18:59

Rainymay12 · 16/05/2026 17:11

Its my fathers we rent it from him.

Youre both too enmeshed with your families sorry

But, change the locks and tell your dad that he's not welcome back.

Then call the police if he shows up

WallaceinAnderland · 16/05/2026 18:59

Butterme · 16/05/2026 18:58

I don’t know the legal side of things but if a landlord isn’t allowed to evict a tenant, then surely he can pretend he’s selling it and then change his mind.

No, he can't do that, it's illegal.

WallaceinAnderland · 16/05/2026 18:58

It doesn't matter who pays the rent, it matters whose name is on the tenancy agreement.

Butterme · 16/05/2026 18:58

WallaceinAnderland · 16/05/2026 18:54

He can only evict if he wants to sell the home. OP is not suggesting that, she is just expecting her DH to move out.

I don’t know the legal side of things but if a landlord isn’t allowed to evict a tenant, then surely he can pretend he’s selling it and then change his mind.

Hankunamatata · 16/05/2026 18:57

Start divorce proceedings and seek legal advice

thepariscrimefiles · 16/05/2026 18:55

Rainymay12 · 16/05/2026 17:11

Its my fathers we rent it from him.

Who pays the rent? Is it you or your DH? Do you have a formal tenancy agreement with your dad? If you do, who is on that agreement?

WallaceinAnderland · 16/05/2026 18:54

Butterme · 16/05/2026 18:51

Why can’t the landlord evict him?

What if he decides to sell the home?

He can only evict if he wants to sell the home. OP is not suggesting that, she is just expecting her DH to move out.

Backedoffhackedoff · 16/05/2026 18:53

the new renters rights bill came in on 1st May which means he can’t evict them expect in a few circumstances which don’t apply.

OP can give notice, but it may still take a while to get DH out if he refuses to leave.

easier to start the divorce and negotiate housing as part of that.

ThatLemonBee · 16/05/2026 18:52

ReadingSoManyThreads · 16/05/2026 18:09

She cannot do that now that the new Renters Rights Bill came into affect on 1st May 2026.

It's very difficult to evict tenants now, and her DH could still refuse to leave, it could take her Dad 2 years to get him out through the courts and cost her Dad thousands of pounds to do so.

He can still evict them just takes longer

ReadingSoManyThreads · 16/05/2026 18:51

BridgetJonesV2 · 16/05/2026 18:30

Get your Dad to come and change the locks and cancel his card.

Find your self respect.

I wish people would stop advising the OP to do things that are clearly against the law. Her Dad could face serious legal repercussions, if he did this. Some Landlords have been jailed for illegal evictions, others fined tens of thousands of pounds.

ThatLemonBee · 16/05/2026 18:51

WallaceinAnderland · 16/05/2026 18:50

The landlord can't evict him.

Yes it can , both of them and then do a contract just in her name .

Butterme · 16/05/2026 18:51

WallaceinAnderland · 16/05/2026 18:50

The landlord can't evict him.

Why can’t the landlord evict him?

What if he decides to sell the home?

Swipe left for the next trending thread