DH wont leave

I also said what I copied and pasted!

And yes. The man is useless and women shouldn’t date men like this. I have stated that consistently. WHERE is the double think?

Are you conflating “low earning” and “useless” for some reason? If so that’s on you.

Again, I would not date a useless man like OPs husband and women shouldn’t feel they need to accept men like this. It leads to absolute misery. I have not wavered from this stance.

If he can’t or won’t bring in any money to the household, he should make himself useless at home and take care of the house and children. Just like many SAHPs do!

No you’re the one who is going round in circles and still not answer properly.

Again :

So without rehashing my arguments which are clearly stated and most which you’ve avoided answering I will just say this:
are you seriously arguing it’s ok for this man to bring nothing to the table? No contribution to bills? Nothing for his family? Not looking after the kids or doing school runs or helping to help the house clean?
And women should get used to this 😆 in an era where an increasing amount of women are happily child free or going solo in motherhood?

Can you answer the above?

her dad can’t evict them now due to the new rules. Only if he is going to move back in or sell. If he evicts to sell, he isn’t allowed to rent it out again for 12 months

Can’t do that if he is on the tenancy

@Notagaiin Full reply above but in brief I said : no one is being shunned by choosing not to date a certain type of man/woman. I don’t fit the criteria for some men. So what?!

Actually, what you said was:-

"And failing that - staying single or only casually dating and not entertaining a family or blending your life with a useless man. We don’t need to accept bottom barrel men."

Clearly there is a lot of double think in what you are saying, which shows that you don't have consistent or rational perspectives. You should take a step back and reflect on that.

Ah I haven’t read the other posts but think maybe you’re right. This would explain what’s going on and it was my suspicion from the outset.

Because it’s not adding up why this man would remain long term in a family business paying so meagre a wage he “can’t” even contribute to bills despite working at it seven days a week too.

I guess they will probably be storing up money for him while OP shoulders the financial burden of the whole family, until he eventually leaves and gets access to it all after having drained OP dry . Shame.

OP are you ok my love?
forgive me if I’m totally wrong but my gut is telling me this could be a farming family situation. Just want to reach out and let you know your feelings are valid and there can be light at the end of the tunnel. Appreciate it’s not as easy as getting another job etc.. if only! do you have any support nearby?
if I’m off the mark I apologise but just concerned as I know how bloody hard it is if my gut instinct is right.

The OP is not coming back.

Trust fund kid thought she married into a rich family and it hasn’t panned out.

I think the husbands family pay him a pittance to keep it from the Op

It’s giving a modern Romeo & Juliet theme. Imagine the families are business competitors or something and hate them being together based on OP’s other posts.

OP ignore most of the advice in this thread other than the seeking actual legal advice either you or your dad on how to get him off the tenancy.

or go the easy route, speak to him mum, tell her to take him back and to tell him to remove himself from the tenancy. I’m pretty sure he will comply with mum!

I'm not saying a judge would give him rights to live there, I am saying that at this present time he does have a right to live there. OP needs to follow the correct legal procedures to have him removed from the house which will almost certainly mean that she will have to give notice to end the current tenancy.

She cannot legally change the locks. He has a right to access his home.

I would prefer if you would read my posts as I answered it! I’d also prefer if you’d actually engage with the arguments and state your position about defending this man as I’ve said in my post above.

Full reply above but in brief I said : no one is being shunned by choosing not to date a certain type of man/woman. I don’t fit the criteria for some men. So what?!

And yeah if a man didn’t want to date a woman earning less than him that’s not shunning that’s just his choice and it’s fine.

Not wanting to date a certain type of man is not about “shunning” - why the dramatic language? I’ve been rejected and I’ve rejected men. I didn’t “shun” them nor was I shunned. I am not entitled to any man and men are not entitled to a woman

Anyway, about the OP...

You’re going round in circles here, perhaps to avoid admitting your shameful and
absurd position of trying to normalise this man’s appalling behaviour and comparing it to either hard working SAHM or women on low wages when it’s not comparable.

These are women who in most cases do the lion share or at least an equal amount of housework, childcare and school runs etc and will contribute in some way financially if they are working. There are plenty of women who even keep up their share of bills while on maternity leave or pay for childcare while working part-time. It’s really daft and quite offensive to compare these women to a useless man like that.

Women who for whatever reasons don’t bring in any income in to their joint household finances, stay at home and take care of domestic duties. This man should do the same!

So without rehashing my arguments which are clearly stated and most which you’ve avoided answering I will just say this:

are you seriously arguing it’s ok for this man to bring nothing to the table? No contribution to bills? Nothing for his family? Not looking after the kids or doing school runs or helping to help the house clean?

And women should get used to this 😆 in an era where an increasing amount of women are happily child free or going solo in motherhood?

nah it’s not happening!

@Notagaiin I would prefer it if you just answered the question.

Should women on low incomes also be shunned?

Ah typos, meant to say :

Not wanting to date a certain type of man is not about “shunning” - why the dramatic language? I’ve been rejected and I’ve rejected men. I didn’t “shun” them nor was I shunned. I am not entitled to any man and men are not entitled to a woman.

What a bizarre story. Divorce first?

Men can choose to date who they want.

IME they’re usually more concerned with “shunning” women who don’t fit their beauty standards in terms of slim, looking a certain way etc moreso than being interested in financial stuff, but that’s on them.

We all have our preferences and it’s a big decision who you marry and have kids with. So people should choose wisely and not get with someone they’re not happy with. And I believe most women would not be happy with a man like OP describes! Not wanting to date a certain type of man is not about “shunning” why the dramatic language? I’ve been rejected and I’ve rejected men. I didn’t “shun” them nor was I rejected. I am not entitled to any man and men are entitled to any woman.

You are not arguing in good faith at all, lots of straw men arguments btw! I have repeatedly said it’s not just about the low income but it’s how low this man is earning for all these hours AND the fact that he contributes zero to the household as a father or husband.

Yes, a man like that who brings nothing except an extra mouth to feed should be “shunned” (or less dramatically -avoided!) if a woman has any sense or she’ll end up in this mess that OP has .

Why do you insist women should be okay with this?

Btw if I knew a woman who was working seven days a week earning an income so meagre she couldn’t contribute to household income or childcare or housework I would tell any decent man to run from her as well. I have not came across such a useless woman though tbh!

The woman I know who don’t earn a lot and have a family work 20-40 hours and pull their weight at home.

He really doesnt.

There is nothing on OP’s post to suggest he is trying to find another job. People get new jobs all the time even if it takes them longer than they would like. It may be harder for some people in 2026 but it’s not “impossible” especially as this man evidently has some experience in something.

And as I’ve stated in the post above, even if he couldn’t find a better job than this - he could give up his work in the family business to look after the household and children just like many low earning women do.

You’re not seriously arguing it’s acceptable for this man not to contribute to his household in any way ??

Really isnt the case. OP needs legal advice on this to get rid of him, but no judge would give him rights to live there over the landlords family.

@Notagaiin And failing that - staying single or only casually dating and not entertaining a family or blending your life with a useless man. We don’t need to accept bottom barrel men.

Should women on low incomes also be shuned?

@shuggles Bt, No one is saying don’t accept there are people who are low earners? What are you even saying? No one is demanding everyone be higher earners.

I was just stating it’s patently false to claim that on average women are better off in terms of average income than men.

And also that if you want to have a family with a man you certainly don’t need to accept they are working 7 days a week for their family business while earning a pittance and contributing nothing to finances, housework or childcare.

Only a desperate woman would put up with that.

There are many better alternatives such as finding a man who is not a low earner and contributes to family life, finances, childcare and housework.

And failing that - staying single or only casually dating and not entertaining a family or blending your life with a useless man. We don’t need to accept bottom barrel men.

@Notagaiin As I said from the outset it’s not just about the income alone but working 7 days a week for a pittance suggests he is earning equal to or less than what he would be getting working 40 hours just so he can work for his dad.
He may not even be working hard btw. I know plenty of people lazy who only work in the family business so they don’t have to work as hard. But even if we say for arguments sake he is working hard , in this case it’s to the detriment of his family if he isn’t pulling in enough money to justify working all those hours.

The bizarre thing is that you are suggesting he should find a different job, yet you're completely overlooking the fact that it is currently impossible to find a job. The job market is completely oversaturated.

The job working for his father is the only job available to him. He cannot do anything else.

I meant to say above :

As I said from the outset it’s not just about the income alone, but working 7 days a week for a pittance suggests he is choosing to earn equal to or less than what he would be getting working 40 hours even at minimum wage , just so he can work for his dad for over 40 hours, it make zero financial sense.

You can make decisions like that if you’re single and child free but he’s not.

In a nutshell he’s taking the piss out of Op knowing she has the bills covered. (And everything else covered as well).

If he was half way decent he’d give up his job and do the lion share of house work and childcare and school work during the week to support OP, and then maybe just do a few hours work with his Dad.

Women in lower paid jobs sacrifice their work hours all the time when they have kids, if their partner earns an amount to cover everything. And instead they step up with the childcare and housework.

They do not get to work seven days a week earning a pittance on their hobby job or family business, if it means they neglect all childcare and housework while also contributing zero to household finances.

Outrageous behaviour.

Do not move out of your home!! Your partner will be the primary carer for your kids and screw you over in court!!