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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to worry wealth differences could affect my son's friendship?

31 replies

JuneFryer · 16/05/2026 14:35

DS is 1 year post A levels and is settled and thriving in a job he loves, earning good money.

Very proud of his achievements.

His closest friend, they have been inseparable since they met in year 7 grammar school has a very unusual carrer and is doing exceedingly well - travel, excitement well paid etc. They're still as close as ever and have just come back from holiday together.

The friend keeps wanting to treat DS to stuff. On holiday every meal was offered to be paid for drinks, club entry etc etc but DS wants to pay his own way.

To put it in perspective this friend earned in one night what DS earned in 4 months. But DS is just not having it, he's adamant that he wants to not be bankrolled.

AIBU to worry about their future friendship?

OP posts:
KarmenPQZ · 16/05/2026 15:11

I think you need to let them work it out themselves. To be honest I’d worry that the friend would stop inviting his best mate to stuff he knew he couldn’t afford and your son could miss so good opportunities.

graciousness needs to work both ways and there’s a difference between bankrolling and allowing someone someone you want to hang out with experience something.

it’s a fine line but surely no one wins if their friendship drifts

Bollixtothat · 16/05/2026 15:09

Don’t waste time worrying about something you have zero control over. Whatever will be will be ?

Ponoka7 · 16/05/2026 15:08

Eventually the friend will want to go places that your DS can't afford and won't be helped out to do, so he is going to be an occasional friend. However it depends on how well your DS earns. If people find partners, friendship outings become slightly less anyway. Your DS will recover, I don't see why you'd worry about this tbh.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 16/05/2026 14:43

To put it in perspective this friend earned in one night what DS earned in 4 months.

Even if your DS earned very little (18hrs pm at minumum wage so about 1k pm) that would mean this friend making 4k per day (ie. £1m per annum)

This is unusual at 19...
But honestly if I was your DS id let him pay... the cost of a dinner is bascially meaningless to him ....

mindutopia · 16/05/2026 14:42

Well, I’d be worried about all this guy’s future friendships. He needs to learn some tact and social skills. No one normal and sensible would want a friendship where the power imbalance was made to feel like this. I think your son needs to have a conversation with him and be quite direct about how this makes him feel uncomfortable. Otherwise, this guy is going to lose all his decent friends and collect a whole army of hangers on who are just there for the cash.

aLFIESMA · 16/05/2026 14:41

They both sound like the best of lads OP, bet they'll be just fine!