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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be uncomfortable as an bit role in customers' sex games?

180 replies

Sheenscrot · 16/05/2026 13:58

I work in a Nice gastropub.

Last night a couple came in for a booked table. The booking notes had asked for sit on the edge of the main section of the restaurant. This isn't uncommon as we have live music on a Friday and it's a good viewing spot. It's a lively pub and busy restaurant.

They were in my section and I welcomed them, got chatting and they told me they we out to celebrate their 4 month anniversary. Champagne was ordered. A pleasant, attractive young couple having a lovely night out.

Then the mood changed a bit; the woman went to the loo and the man played with his phone while she did do.

When she came back he moved his phone to his lap and started to mess with it surreptitiously under the table.

It was so freaking obvious what was going on; her face became animated and she started squirming.

I went back to clear their starter dish and offered more drinks, just doing my job, but they were obviously observing me to see if I noticed.

I went down the civil professional and verging on brusque approach to them fro that point and tried to speed them through the meal to get them off the table quickly.

All the other servers that night were a level students and I wasn't going to expose them to that so I took full ownership of the table.

Grim fuckers Do some people have no shame?

OP posts:
Beenwhereyouareagain · 16/05/2026 20:21

MummyMaryUK · 16/05/2026 15:43

So, you didn't actually see anything or any body part etc.
They didn't actually say anything to you of a sexual nature, and they didn't try to show body parts or converse with any other members of staff or clients.

So at best, your post is 100% speculation and assumption.

Now, in your own words this, 'young attractive pleasant couple', are being vilified and called disgusting on a national website and called all sorts of 'disgusting'.

My money is on you either being jealous of their looks or relationship or, more than likely, this never happened at all.

Edited

🤔🤨🙄

FoulBlister · 16/05/2026 20:03

Sheenscrot · 16/05/2026 18:46

Not a troll. Been here 19 years.

You need to think a bit deeper as to why someone would name change to preserve anonymity regarding a tale on the Internet.

I told my manager who has briefed his staff today re protocols to be used in any similar circumstances.

I don't want my regular name known by colleagues in case these 2 worlds collide.

HTH Smile

If this happened I'll give you the money myself.
Odd OP name.
Bloke?

FKAT · 16/05/2026 19:53

NameChangeMay2026 · 16/05/2026 19:22

I know this isn't the point of the thread, but it's starting to irk me how perfectly nice and normal female names are starting to be used as insults. It's so sexist! It first started with Karen, and now it's Linda, Janet, Brenda, and I'm sure a few others. It's a chauvinistic trend that should be stamped out, not perpetuated!

"steps down from soap box"

It wasn't an insult. It was a (very online) reference that I am too tired to explain right now. Broadly I agree with you. A well known blockbuster movie has an entire sequence taking the piss out of my own name.

NameChangeMay2026 · 16/05/2026 19:22

FKAT · 16/05/2026 16:30

They were wanking in public Janet. That's not a pleasant thing to do.

It's clear that the OP means 'they seemed' a pleasant couple, in the same way neighbours say that the serial killer 'seemed like a nice man who loved his mum' until he dismembered her.

I can't imagine being jealous of a woman who risks a criminal record and employment to wank in public for a creepy weirdo who she's been dating for four months. Is that what's aspirational now?

I know this isn't the point of the thread, but it's starting to irk me how perfectly nice and normal female names are starting to be used as insults. It's so sexist! It first started with Karen, and now it's Linda, Janet, Brenda, and I'm sure a few others. It's a chauvinistic trend that should be stamped out, not perpetuated!

"steps down from soap box"

NameChangeMay2026 · 16/05/2026 19:19

I can see how this would be a sexy thing to do with a partner if you can keep a poker face. Sounds as if she was being pretty performative though.

NameChangeMay2026 · 16/05/2026 19:17

Hotafternoon · 16/05/2026 17:55

I've been coming on to this site for over two years and have been astounded at some of the things I didn't know about but do now. This being another eye opener.

🤮🤢

I really am old and naive.

I knew about this remote-vibe thing because of the film with Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler, The Ugly Truth, where the same thing happens. But I had no idea what a queening chair is, and I learnt that this week from Mumsnet!

viques · 16/05/2026 19:16

Wingedharpy · 16/05/2026 16:17

I get animated and squirm in restaurants - usually when desert arrives - particularly if it's tiramisu.

Imagine if Michelangelo had included a picture of a tiramisu in the Sistine Chapel, I can see it now, balanced on Gods finger as he offers it to Adam….

vincettenoir · 16/05/2026 19:15

Had no idea this was a thing. I feel a million years old. And gross! Sorry that you had to deal with that at work.

NameChangeMay2026 · 16/05/2026 19:14

I'm really hoping that another customer said to you "I'll have what she's having" in the spirit of When Harry Met Sally! 🤣

vincettenoir · 16/05/2026 19:13

TeflonMom · 16/05/2026 14:51

I used to work in a phone shop and couples would come in and ask you to look at their phone to fix something or show them a function and there would be a photo of something explicit as the screensaver. They would stand there waiting for your reaction. Just weirdos trying to get their jollies

😮

SnappyUmberLion · 16/05/2026 19:05

ainsleysanob · 16/05/2026 15:42

Eh? Why is he the only one at fault?!

Because this is Mumsnet.

Spicysirracha · 16/05/2026 18:50

Sheenscrot · 16/05/2026 18:47

No I didn't get the manager to throw them out. I wanted discretion. It's a nice place, generally no trouble. I just hurried them up and ushered them out in a far more expedient manner than I would normally offer guests.

They didn't tip.

You didn’t tell the manager at the time that this was going on?

Sheenscrot · 16/05/2026 18:49

Oh and the phone issue?

Yesi could have been clearer.

He was drawing patterns on the screen, it was fucking obvious he was controlling a vibrator.

And her animation? Yes her sex face. I was being coy in the OP. 🙄

OP posts:
Sheenscrot · 16/05/2026 18:47

No I didn't get the manager to throw them out. I wanted discretion. It's a nice place, generally no trouble. I just hurried them up and ushered them out in a far more expedient manner than I would normally offer guests.

They didn't tip.

OP posts:
Sheenscrot · 16/05/2026 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Not a troll. Been here 19 years.

You need to think a bit deeper as to why someone would name change to preserve anonymity regarding a tale on the Internet.

I told my manager who has briefed his staff today re protocols to be used in any similar circumstances.

I don't want my regular name known by colleagues in case these 2 worlds collide.

HTH Smile

OP posts:
Menier · 16/05/2026 18:21

Another one here that had no idea this was a thing. Thanks again Mumsnet!

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm · 16/05/2026 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ElenOfTheWays · 16/05/2026 18:14

WonderfulSmith · 16/05/2026 17:40

Clearly I too am a dinosaur as I had no idea that this was a thing.

That said, didn’t someone use something like this to cheat at the chess world championships.

What? Did they wank off their opponent to distract them? 😂
Check Maaaaaate

ParmaVioletTea · 16/05/2026 18:02

Loopytiles · 16/05/2026 14:09

Same story as this a couple of weeks ago but from the perspective of a friend on a double date, not a waitress.

Eughhhhh. That is just rude, as well as - well, disrespectful to everyone around them.

I hope you had some nice customers who treated you with respect that evening, to make up for those low life ones, @Sheenscrot

Hotafternoon · 16/05/2026 17:55

I've been coming on to this site for over two years and have been astounded at some of the things I didn't know about but do now. This being another eye opener.

🤮🤢

I really am old and naive.

Nopenott0day · 16/05/2026 17:43

Degenerates shouldn't be out in public

ZenNudist · 16/05/2026 17:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WonderfulSmith · 16/05/2026 17:40

Clearly I too am a dinosaur as I had no idea that this was a thing.

That said, didn’t someone use something like this to cheat at the chess world championships.

JWhipple · 16/05/2026 17:38

Next time pretend you misheard the anniversary part and assemble all the staff to loudly sing "happy birthday" round their table.

Nasty fuckers

Notmeeeever · 16/05/2026 17:37

OchreReader · 16/05/2026 17:31

I must be quite naive. I thought she’d gone to the toilet to remove her knickers and he was taking photos under the table. A vibrator controlled by a phone would never have occurred to me. Didn’t know there was such a thing 🙈

Same….every day is a school day 🤦‍♀️

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