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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to feel envious of her?

127 replies

GlowieGlow · 16/05/2026 13:52

I follow someone on social media who always seems really nice and down to earth, and she has what looks like a lovely husband. I only recently realised she already had children when they met, and he’s completely taken them on as his own even though he doesn’t have children himself. They’ve been married for years and genuinely seem very happy.

I know social media only shows the good bits, but I can’t stop feeling envious of her life and what she’s found. Not just the relationship itself, but that someone loved her enough to fully embrace her children too. It feels incredibly lucky.

I think what’s upset me is realising how much I wanted that for myself. I wish I’d met someone kind who loved me properly and accepted my children as part of the package, and built a happy family life with us. Instead I’ve been single for years and haven’t had even the slightest bit of interest from anyone in such a long time. Seeing her life has really brought home the fact that it just never happened for me, and that it probably never will.

I feel mean even admitting I’m jealous because she’s obviously done nothing wrong, but seeing it has really got to me. AIBU to feel like this?

OP posts:
Steelworks · 16/05/2026 13:57

i think it’s normal to grieve the life you wanted but didn’t have. Give yourself permission to have these feelings, but remember, social media only shows the nice bits. The dp may be terrible at leaving smelly pants everywhere, and the children really messy and untidy. Years ago, people would say the camera never lies, but it certainly does today.

Goditsmemargaret · 16/05/2026 13:56

GlowieGlow · 16/05/2026 13:52

I follow someone on social media who always seems really nice and down to earth, and she has what looks like a lovely husband. I only recently realised she already had children when they met, and he’s completely taken them on as his own even though he doesn’t have children himself. They’ve been married for years and genuinely seem very happy.

I know social media only shows the good bits, but I can’t stop feeling envious of her life and what she’s found. Not just the relationship itself, but that someone loved her enough to fully embrace her children too. It feels incredibly lucky.

I think what’s upset me is realising how much I wanted that for myself. I wish I’d met someone kind who loved me properly and accepted my children as part of the package, and built a happy family life with us. Instead I’ve been single for years and haven’t had even the slightest bit of interest from anyone in such a long time. Seeing her life has really brought home the fact that it just never happened for me, and that it probably never will.

I feel mean even admitting I’m jealous because she’s obviously done nothing wrong, but seeing it has really got to me. AIBU to feel like this?

Your feelings are your feelings and there's nothing unreasonable about them. I'd say it's more envy as you don't sound remotely ugly in your attitude towards her.

I am a naturally upbeat positive person but after spending years on my own I did find myself feeling sad about it, wondering why everyone else seemed able to find someone etc.

I'll point out that obvious bits; it's not her but what her presence has shone a light on which is bothering you.

Are you open to looking for a partner?

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