To think that "97% of women can breastfeed" is a load of crap

Not on an individual level, but on a population level, it makes a big difference.

I don't criticise, but I do find it surprising that people would choose an alternative that we know is not as good for your baby and is more expensive without even attempting breastfeeding.

I agree. I always knew I would BF mine as there is NOTHING better for the baby than what was intended for it - breast milk! Even with that mindset, I was horrified when I gave birth. My baby had tongue tie, poor latch, I was in excruciating pain for 4 weeks, I had mommy wrist for 3m and baby was latching every hr. I could barely pump as my nipples were cracked and bleeding but I pushed through and that's the dedication and sacrifice I made because I wanted to do that for my child.

So when ppl say they couldn't....... I find it hard to believe.

There definitely needs to be more education around BF in those first few weeks! I completely understand women who say they don't want to because its so so so so so hard. but to say they cant when they can, annoys me.

Not on an individual level, but on a population level, it makes a big difference.

I don't criticise, but I do find it surprising that people would choose an alternative that we know is not as good for your baby and is more expensive without even attempting breastfeeding.

Not quite - the mechanism is:

1. task requiring dopamine
2. dopamine produced
3. task completed
4. dopamine cleared away

In ADHD it’s

1. task requiring dopamine
2. dopamine produced
3. dopamine cleared away
4. more dopamine produced
5. dopamine cleared away
6. repeat until:
7. produce so much dopamine we flood the system overwhelming the clearing mechanism
8. task completed

So, people with ADHD have dopamine production switched on for longer. It’s having dopamine switched on that inhibits production of prolactin so untreated ADHD will often mean we don’t have as much chance ti produce prolactin because our dopamine production station keeps firing.

Most stimulant medications slow down the biomolecules that clear dopamine - they don’t affect dopamine production itself. This can lead, certainly in the short term, to higher levels of dopamine in the system.

This is why some women are given dopamine antagonists, inhibiting dopamine production, to help establish milk supply if they’re struggling.

Yes actually now you mention it I remember reading somewhere when I was deciding whether to continue my meds or not that a possible side effect of taking stimulants was reduced prolactin (and therefore milk supply) due to the higher levels of dopamine

So untreated ADHD would have LOWER levels of dopamine than an "average" person and therefore unlikely to have a negative effect of milk production just from having ADHD, is that right?

Sorry baby brain 😅

Some of us don’t want to breast feed as there is an excellent alternative. Thankfully we have a choice and don’t have to accept criticism from other mothers.
Breast feeding doesn’t make you a better parent! It’s only one minor aspect of parenting. You can’t tell which children have and haven’t been breast fed.

I do always find it a bit surprising when people decide pre-birth not to even try to BF. Some people will flat out deny the research showing it has better outcomes.

I totally appreciate that it's not best for EVERY family and some might find that the difficulties they are having outweigh the benefits.

It is a full-time job though and if you want a successful journey you have to commit to that. I think there's an idea that maternity leave is a great opportunity to get stuff done around the house and be a SAHM for a while whilst your adorable infant sleeps peacefully in their cot, so finding that actually you're going to be spending most of your time feeding your baby through the day and night is quite a shock. As much to the Dads who come home from work and find "nothing has been done" as to the Mums. We need some real education for boys and girls on what the early days of motherhood look like and how much work actually goes into feeding a newborn.

I do always find it a bit surprising when people decide pre-birth not to even try to BF. Some people will flat out deny the research showing it has better outcomes.

I totally appreciate that it's not best for EVERY family and some might find that the difficulties they are having outweigh the benefits.

It is a full-time job though and if you want a successful journey you have to commit to that. I think there's an idea that maternity leave is a great opportunity to get stuff done around the house and be a SAHM for a while whilst your adorable infant sleeps peacefully in their cot, so finding that actually you're going to be spending most of your time feeding your baby through the day and night is quite a shock. As much to the Dads who come home from work and find "nothing has been done" as to the Mums. We need some real education for boys and girls on what the early days of motherhood look like and how much work actually goes into feeding a newborn.

This!

Off the top of my head, I know 9 ppl who gave birth between 2024 and 2025. 7 of them claimed they couldn't BF even though they really "wanted to" but had low supply, and that's why they HAD to use formula as baby was losing weight and so they were forced to.

The same people who skipped BF at night and offered formula often so that they can get a "break" from feeding baby.

BF is so taxing on the body and it takes a lot of sacrifice from mum to maintain a good supply for baby.

An lot of people go into motherhood with the assurance that they have a backup (formula) therefore they don't try as hard to BF, and ultimately say they "couldn't", when in reality they COULD, but didn't do enough to keep it up.

So many mums will say things like they will do anything for their children / die for their children yet cannot make the sacrifice to BF their babies. IDC if I hurt feelings with this post.

Yes, there are definitely a sizeable minority of women who just didn't really want to BF but seem compelled to say they "couldn't" instead, which skews public perception on the matter.

I never said to anyone I couldn’t. I just said I didn’t want to. I had nothing to hide or be ashamed about. I’m proud I raised healthy happy children regardless of that being from formula.

Yes, there are definitely a sizeable minority of women who just didn't really want to BF but seem compelled to say they "couldn't" instead, which skews public perception on the matter.

Bf support groups are usually made up of mostly unqualified mums sharing their experiences. They’re great and have their place - especially for emotional support - but they’re not a substitute for properly trained medical advice that can assess whether there is a problem with milk supply. This is something that should be checked and identified at the first midwife home visit. It’s a failing of the system. It doesn’t mean that bf shouldn’t be promoted and encouraged.

Conditions that may (but don’t always) impact milk supply and are fairly common are pcos, gestational diabetes and thyroid disorders. Imo anyone with any of these should be flagged pre-birth and given additional support.

That’s correct but the point was being made in response to a poster who said that the “number of people who wilfully refuse to bf is vanishingly small” - which is obviously a load of rubbish because lots of people choose not to/simply don’t want to, and whether their reasons or valid or not doesn’t change the fact that it was their choice and they’re not all hand wringing about it or consumed with guilt.

You can drink in moderation and breastfeed though. The amount that passes to the milk is like a shot in a swimming pool. I do think there's a lot of nonsense in the media and old wives tales about having to restrict your lifestyle. For example, avoiding fizzy drinks and "windy" vegetables. People seem not to know that milk is made from blood. The fibre from cruciferous vegetables that can cause wind does not pass into the bloodstream. The bubbles in fizzy drinks do not make your blood fizzy.

Your statistically insignificant study group of two children is an anecdote, not clinical data. I also have two children, both fed and raised the same, both very different in many ways.

But, no matter what you claim, all the peer reviewed studies that take all variables into account show that artificial feeding negatively impacts short and long term health outcomes for mothers and babies.

I agree. From my own experience I have had NCT members say that they wanted to drink so didn't want to breastfeed, family members choose not to because (and I quote) 'it's too icky', close friends say they didn't want their breasts to sag so wouldn't do it etc......

Yes actually now you mention it I remember reading somewhere when I was deciding whether to continue my meds or not that a possible side effect of taking stimulants was reduced prolactin (and therefore milk supply) due to the higher levels of dopamine

So untreated ADHD would have LOWER levels of dopamine than an "average" person and therefore unlikely to have a negative effect of milk production just from having ADHD, is that right?

Sorry baby brain 😅

@Futurehappiness in the U.K., for the vast majority who ff, it’s a choice. It’s a minority on threads like this for obvious reasons. That doesn’t take away from your own feelings if sadness/anger/regret/guilt/disappointment, but everyone I know who ff chose it for reasons including: they wanted to see how much milk the baby was getting, they wanted to share feeds and night wakings and to be able to leave the baby sooner, they didn’t like the thought/sensation of bf, fhey wanted to get their bodies back asap.

Those reasons are all perfectly valid and tbh it’s a bit patronising to assume that it’s everyone’s second choice.

That a poster thinks it appropriate to link on here a survey showing the potential negative outcomes of not breastfeeding (despite the reality being far more complex) - complete with a picture implying we are gullible idiots - I have to be honest, the insensitivity just staggers me.

I would say that the number of women who wilfully refuse to breastfeed is vanishingly small. So many posters on here, including myself, have explained why bf was effectively impossible for them.

I'm very confused by that post. ADHD is associated with lower levels of dopamine, not raised levels. Not producing colostrum pre-birth is not in any way related to your ability to BF after birth, it could be helpful if you can gather a bit to help baby out if they are struggling to latch at the start and sugars are dropping, but often takes hours of hard work to get even the tiniest amount. And fussy behaviour on the breast is really normal and how baby stimulates your milk production, it's not indicative of low volume.

This happened to me too . Readmission to hospital on day 5 with a jaundiced, dehydrated, screaming baby who had dropped a ton of weight despite me BF almost constantly.

After 24 in hospital trying to BF, then pump, then top up with breast milk followed by top up of formula, all every 2 hours, I was delirious with stress and fatigue.

I kept mixed feeding for quite a while, but several years on I wonder why I did that to myself. Even after hearing everything we'd been through the local BF support groups all kept telling me I could drop the formula if I just tried harder.