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AIBU?

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Why do we put animals out of their misery but let humans suffer?

289 replies

Freshton · 16/05/2026 11:06

A relative is currently dying a slow and horrible death from terminal cancer. In palliative phase and last few days now as can't swallow or take any liquids.

It's truly opened my eyes. I had no idea how medieval things were still when it comes to death. I've been truly horrified at what people are expected to endure in their final weeks and what their relatives have to witness.

I can't understand why we put animals to sleep to spare them suffering but humans still have to deal with this slow and undignified end.

I've never been much in favour of assisted dying as not had to think about it but after seeing what I've seen, I really hope something can change. I'll be haunted for the rest of my life by what I've seen in last few weeks.

OP posts:
thefloorislavayes · 16/05/2026 11:58

AmberTigerEyes · 16/05/2026 11:45

I don’t agree.
And these kinds of arguments show that people are backing assisted dying out of self interest. It isn’t for the benefit of the elderly person living the last weeks or days.

Unfortunately, people who haven’t experienced something personally often can’t fully grasp the amount of pain and suffering that dying can involve. I once cared for a 106-year-old lady who couldn’t walk, could barely swallow, and only saw her carers for 30 minutes at a time, four times a day. Whenever she was lucid and not hallucinating, she would either ask to die or ask to be carried into the garden because she wanted to feel the sun on her cheeks. We weren’t allowed to carry her anywhere. For six years, all she saw were the walls of her bedroom; she couldn’t even tolerate watching television. Much of the time she spoke to people who weren’t there, though occasionally she would come through and say things like, “Oh, I’m being fed soup.” During the last five months of her life, she screamed in pain whenever she was awake.
Ask yourself honestly whether you would want to spend your final years living like that. Then ask yourself: for whose benefit are you of the opinion that we should force people to endure a final few years like this lady’s?

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 16/05/2026 11:56

‘object to funding suicide or euthanasia with tax payer money‘

😵‍💫🙈🤦🏼‍♀️. My god every time I think i’ve read some nonsense on here I log back in and there’s more of it! If I think of how our tax pounds are wasted every second of every minute of every day, and this poster wants to make the argument that allowing people a peaceful death is objectionable to the tax payer 🤣. Good lord.

Twoshoesnewshoes · 16/05/2026 11:55

Awww OP, I feel the same.
my uncle is in a care home, absolutely addled with dementia- can’t walk or speak now. Some time ago he asked if he could ‘go,end’ and then said ‘but I don’t know how’
i know what he wanted.
my DDog was prs two years ago, it was peaceful and sweet - I so wanted to do this for my uncle.

GreenHay · 16/05/2026 11:55

Blame Harold Shipman. Hope he’s rotting in hell.

HoskinsChoice · 16/05/2026 11:54

AmberTigerEyes · 16/05/2026 11:51

The law you are backing requires the physical ability to overdose on oral medication. It’s not going to buy anyone any extra time.

In addition, death cannot be made dignified. Any death by overdose has the same side effects, risk of failure, disturbing things are still witnessed, it’s not painless or serene.

Edited

OK. Maybe go and read up about it. You clearly don't understand.

I hope you never have to go through what so many of us have. Although perhaps only then will you understand.

AmberTigerEyes · 16/05/2026 11:53

UncannyFanny · 16/05/2026 11:52

Objection overruled.

😆

UncannyFanny · 16/05/2026 11:52

AmberTigerEyes · 16/05/2026 11:50

No it isn’t. You have the choice to die, anytime you want to. No one is taking any choice away from you. You don’t need the state to pay for your choice or pay for help. I object to funding suicide or euthanasia with tax payer money,

Objection overruled.

hattie43 · 16/05/2026 11:52

Totally agree OP.

AmberTigerEyes · 16/05/2026 11:51

HoskinsChoice · 16/05/2026 11:50

Not in the UK we don't. People could choose to take their own lives but to ensure they had the physical capability to do it, they will have to do it much earlier than if we had assisted dying and it would be with considerably less dignified. That is not a choice.

The law you are backing requires the physical ability to overdose on oral medication. It’s not going to buy anyone any extra time.

In addition, death cannot be made dignified. Any death by overdose has the same side effects, risk of failure, disturbing things are still witnessed, it’s not painless or serene.

FlayOtters · 16/05/2026 11:50

RaspberryFeet · 16/05/2026 11:39

I suppose it’s because it’s a slippery slope. How do you have the right to choose without it becoming like Canada?

It's not a slippery slope. Canada is the exception, not the rule. Also, the bill that the HoL have just filibustered out of existence would have been the most tightly regulated assisted dying law in the world (far too tightly in my opinion as it would not have helped the incurably suffering)

AmberTigerEyes · 16/05/2026 11:50

HoskinsChoice · 16/05/2026 11:47

Of course it is. It's about giving EVERYONE not just me or you the choice. By not backing the assisted dying law, you are protecting your own choice but taking my choice away from me. How is that fair?

No it isn’t. You have the choice to die, anytime you want to. No one is taking any choice away from you. You don’t need the state to pay for your choice or pay for help. I object to funding suicide or euthanasia with tax payer money,

HoskinsChoice · 16/05/2026 11:50

AmberTigerEyes · 16/05/2026 11:47

You have the choice.

Not in the UK we don't. People could choose to take their own lives but to ensure they had the physical capability to do it, they will have to do it much earlier than if we had assisted dying and it would be with considerably less dignified. That is not a choice.

UncannyFanny · 16/05/2026 11:50

AmberTigerEyes · 16/05/2026 11:45

I don’t agree.
And these kinds of arguments show that people are backing assisted dying out of self interest. It isn’t for the benefit of the elderly person living the last weeks or days.

So you’ve witnessed someone dying a slow and painful death?

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 16/05/2026 11:50

AmberTigerEyes · 16/05/2026 11:46

The act of choice is significant here. Currently we do not have choice. If the law was changed, it would allow choice. Those who are against it, are making their own choice for themselves but taking my choice away from me.

You can end your life whenever you choose. There is no right to have a state funded death with assistance from a state funded doctor.

Argh I hate this argument about having the choice to commit suicide, but not the choice to do it peacefully. Gross.

WhatAMarvelousTune · 16/05/2026 11:49

peppaispoop · 16/05/2026 11:37

Our government can’t be trusted not to fuck it up. Plus there’s likely to be a lot of people trying to abuse it and bully people into it to protect inheritance. You may think you’ll want to pull the plug when it’s time but it’s human instinct to want to keep going.

I think those are valid points. But I think they are less applicable in situations similar to OP’s relative - people with days left to live, in distress and pain, and assisted dying would be saving hrs of pain, not taking months of life. No one’s getting any inheritance any sooner, or saving any meaningful care fees.

UncannyFanny · 16/05/2026 11:48

Branleuse · 16/05/2026 11:20

I've worked in end of life care in the community and I strongly believe in the right to choose.
There can be such a difference in people's experiences at the end.

The problem is not everyone is given a right to choose. They suffer because there is no other choice apart from the fear of your loved ones being jailed for helping you end it.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 16/05/2026 11:48

Agreed. The thought of a long protracted death scares most people. Let’s have the option to decide when we’re done and get the hell out of here.

HoskinsChoice · 16/05/2026 11:47

AmberTigerEyes · 16/05/2026 11:45

I don’t agree.
And these kinds of arguments show that people are backing assisted dying out of self interest. It isn’t for the benefit of the elderly person living the last weeks or days.

Of course it is. It's about giving EVERYONE not just me or you the choice. By not backing the assisted dying law, you are protecting your own choice but taking my choice away from me. How is that fair?

Gwenhwyfar · 16/05/2026 11:47

Animals are sometimes put down because their owners can't/won't pay for their treatment. Not something I would want for humans.

AmberTigerEyes · 16/05/2026 11:47

HoskinsChoice · 16/05/2026 11:45

This is just waffle. The point is, as individuals we don't have the choice for ourselves. The argument is not about making a decision for someone else, it's about having the choice to make a decision about your own life.

You have the choice.

AmberTigerEyes · 16/05/2026 11:46

The act of choice is significant here. Currently we do not have choice. If the law was changed, it would allow choice. Those who are against it, are making their own choice for themselves but taking my choice away from me.

You can end your life whenever you choose. There is no right to have a state funded death with assistance from a state funded doctor.

HoskinsChoice · 16/05/2026 11:45

AmberTigerEyes · 16/05/2026 11:42

Relatives don’t have to witness deaths. You didn’t.
I won’t be allowing any of my relatives to do the deathbed vigil.

The reasons we can put animals down is because they are property not persons. The animal doesn’t need to consent to their own death. It’s up to their owner whether they live or die.

Human beings are not comparable to animals.

This is just waffle. The point is, as individuals we don't have the choice for ourselves. The argument is not about making a decision for someone else, it's about having the choice to make a decision about your own life.

AmberTigerEyes · 16/05/2026 11:45

thefloorislavayes · 16/05/2026 11:41

I think anyone who has had to witness someone dying a slow and painful death agrees with you

I don’t agree.
And these kinds of arguments show that people are backing assisted dying out of self interest. It isn’t for the benefit of the elderly person living the last weeks or days.

HoskinsChoice · 16/05/2026 11:43

This makes me so angry and I am sorry you are going through this. Like you, I watched a close relative die a truly awful death. The staff in the hospice were amazing but it didn't change anything. It is cruel to keep someone alive who knows the end is nigh and does not want to be here.

The act of choice is significant here. Currently we do not have choice. If the law was changed, it would allow choice. Those who are against it, are making their own choice for themselves but taking my choice away from me. It is disgraceful and I urge anyone to speak with their local politicians and support the group who are actively trying to give us that choice:

https://www.dignityindying.org.uk/

Dignity in Dying

No one should be forced to suffer as they die. That’s why Dignity in Dying is fighting to change the law and allow terminally ill people control over their death.

https://www.dignityindying.org.uk

AmberTigerEyes · 16/05/2026 11:42

Relatives don’t have to witness deaths. You didn’t.
I won’t be allowing any of my relatives to do the deathbed vigil.

The reasons we can put animals down is because they are property not persons. The animal doesn’t need to consent to their own death. It’s up to their owner whether they live or die.

Human beings are not comparable to animals.