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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to pretend to be asleep when my husband gets home late?

33 replies

PartyQuestion30th · 16/05/2026 09:03

DH got in late from a black tie do last night. wIBU to pretend to be asleep so I didn’t have to litsten twice to his stories of it. It’ll save me later going ‘yes, you mentioned that last night’

a friend has a rule that if her partner is coming back late he goes to the spare room…that seems a bit much to me.

OP posts:
Surgeonsattheedgeoflife · 16/05/2026 09:14

If I’m in bed and sleepy I usually pretend to be asleep, as I find that if I chat I then wake up more and can’t get to sleep later.

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 16/05/2026 09:11

I wouldn’t consider not getting up or engaging as ‘pretending to sleep’. You just stayed in bed (presumably sans cartoon snores). I don’t think that’s unreasonable. Why would it be?

Somnambule · 16/05/2026 09:10

Haha I do this, because he comes home wired and chatty and if I engage then I find I'm fully woken up again - he'll then inevitably fall asleep before me and I'll lie there listening to him snore and want to smother him. Mismatched energies late at night are bad for a relationship.

dudsville · 16/05/2026 09:10

I "pretend" to be asleep, but it's more because if I'm already in that position when he arrives home then it means I'm not up for a chat, that would fully wake me up. My DH knows this, so he knows that I'm either actually asleep or working on falling to sleep, so it's not time for chat.

Chunkychips23 · 16/05/2026 09:10

I’ve pretended to be asleep when my DH comes back in late. I’m tired and he’d have me up later chatting away. We have a catch-up in the mornings anyway. You’re not being unreasonable.

Friendlygingercat · 16/05/2026 09:10

Yes I would pretend to be asleep.

Makemeinvisible · 16/05/2026 09:08

If it's late I don't think it's unreasonable to pretend to be asleep - presumably even if you aren't actually asleep you are tired and possibly sleepy. He can tell you about his evening tomorrow.

CatsOnCushions · 16/05/2026 09:07

Couldn’t you just say hello, did you have a good night, but say it’s late so you’ll hear more about it tomorrow. That’s what we do if we are tired. It would feel very weird to just pretend to be asleep to me.