I don’t know if I want to have another child because I feel it would be unfair as I have AUDHD and my partner is definitely on the spectrum. Our DS (7 years old) is awaiting a diagnosis and I see definite signs of my struggles in him, which I find really triggering at times.
I hate watching his challenges, knowing we/I have passed on our traits to him.
I have found life extremely difficult and even though I was academic at school, I just couldn’t reach my ‘potential’ and struggled hugely with my mental health. I never knew I was ND at that time. My DP (his dad) has had a similar experience, although undiagnosed, he was and is extremely clever, but has never pushed himself, partly because of low self esteem and partly because he finds it hard to stick at something. As a result he is in a low paid job.
I’ve got awful guilt that DS’s life may follow the same path, he’s very academically able at school, but I can already see the problems showing up.
There is a clear history of ND on both sides of our family.
I sometimes think I would like another child, but the thought of passing our genes on again, our neurodiversity, I just feel it’s cruel.