Where to go when you have a problem with your manager?

Valeyard15 · 16/05/2026 23:14

Is there any possibility of independent mediation being offered?

Papersquidge · 16/05/2026 22:50

A new company!

Lavender14 · 16/05/2026 22:49

dinoworld · 15/05/2026 19:35

Thanks. We had careers advisors in school but not sure how an employed adult would fine one?

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The council where I live have them and they're free to consult. When I was coming back from mat leave I went and met one to try and get a bit of a direction for myself again and it was helpful.

Is it possible the second meeting is around mediation to try to make a plan for moving forwards?

You say she's family but do you actually work together? If not then I think you need to be careful op as I know I've worked with colleagues who have been struggling with the work and have blamed it on their manager or the workload when in reality their performance was the issue and I know because I was holding the work they weren't doing or were doing wrong on top of my own heavier work load. So it may be there is a performance issue underneath this that she's not taking accountability for and maybe now the grievance has been dealt with they're going to look to address that and create a development plan? It sounds like you're only hearing one side of this so I'd be referring her back to her process.

If she chooses to stay on that's up to her but if she's miserable then leaving would make sense.

Original poster

dinoworld · 16/05/2026 08:31

Holdonforsummer · 16/05/2026 08:09

That’s my point! This person has to give up or leave this job, sorry.

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I try not to get involved on a personal of professional level but I'm also not going to ignore her if she comes to me and husband.

I spoke to chat gpt and they said it's most likely to try and build relationship with managers manager and to make sure the company isn't acting unlawfully.

She won't leave as been there a while and age etc. Not sure any sidewards moves either

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Holdonforsummer · 16/05/2026 08:09

dinoworld · 15/05/2026 20:21

She has and it's not been upheld

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That’s my point! This person has to give up or leave this job, sorry.

Original poster

dinoworld · 15/05/2026 21:05

Ponderingwindow · 15/05/2026 19:51

If the employee is unhappy with work conditions, complains, and gets no tractions with those complaints, the employee likely just needs to look for a new job. If the complaints rise to a legal issue they could simultaneously pursue intervention from the correct organization, but the end result is still going to be unemployment.

What if they don't?

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Original poster

dinoworld · 15/05/2026 20:21

Dozer · 15/05/2026 19:46

Why are you drip feeding?!

Be professional at work.

If your in law wants to tell you stuff they will. Nothing you can do to help their situation at work, at work you’re their colleague.

Yes and she keeps on coming to me

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Original poster

dinoworld · 15/05/2026 20:21

Holdonforsummer · 15/05/2026 19:52

Not liking your manager is not enough of a reason to complain. You’d have to gather watertight evidence that your manager is negligent in her work (or incompetent or commuting misconduct) and take that to HR. Otherwise put up or shut up, I’m afraid.

She has and it's not been upheld

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dinoworld · 15/05/2026 20:05

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Original poster

dinoworld · 15/05/2026 20:04

Ponderingwindow · 15/05/2026 19:51

If the employee is unhappy with work conditions, complains, and gets no tractions with those complaints, the employee likely just needs to look for a new job. If the complaints rise to a legal issue they could simultaneously pursue intervention from the correct organization, but the end result is still going to be unemployment.

Yeah Im trying to stay away from the situation but it's hard.

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Thefrenchconnection1 · 15/05/2026 19:58

dinoworld · 15/05/2026 19:08

What if that person doesn't leave? .

Edited

Then you leave like my original message said. If you can't read basic messages of a sentence then maybe your manager has a point about you.

Holdonforsummer · 15/05/2026 19:52

Not liking your manager is not enough of a reason to complain. You’d have to gather watertight evidence that your manager is negligent in her work (or incompetent or commuting misconduct) and take that to HR. Otherwise put up or shut up, I’m afraid.

Ponderingwindow · 15/05/2026 19:51

If the employee is unhappy with work conditions, complains, and gets no tractions with those complaints, the employee likely just needs to look for a new job. If the complaints rise to a legal issue they could simultaneously pursue intervention from the correct organization, but the end result is still going to be unemployment.

Original poster

dinoworld · 15/05/2026 19:49

Dozer · 15/05/2026 19:46

Why are you drip feeding?!

Be professional at work.

If your in law wants to tell you stuff they will. Nothing you can do to help their situation at work, at work you’re their colleague.

because I don't want people to know!

Also why are people being so weird.

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Dozer · 15/05/2026 19:46

Why are you drip feeding?!

Be professional at work.

If your in law wants to tell you stuff they will. Nothing you can do to help their situation at work, at work you’re their colleague.

Original poster

dinoworld · 15/05/2026 19:40

Dozer · 15/05/2026 19:38

If this is a colleague you’re friends with be kind to her but don’t pry or get embroiled - that won’t help anyone.

Family by marriage. Trying not to get involved but it's family.

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ExpectMore · 15/05/2026 19:38

dinoworld · 15/05/2026 19:04

When you exhaust everything? Grievance - wasn't withheld, appealed, same. People who report into that person don't like their management.

What happens then?

@dinoworldIf you’ve been told your complaint has no basis you accept it likely has no basis.

if you don’t like or are unwilling to accept that outcome you leave.

Similarly if you don’t like the job (the “expectations” of it as you say), you leave.

No one is forcing you to stay. You’re (presumably) an adult so have your own free will to do a job or not.

It’s not rocket science.

Dozer · 15/05/2026 19:38

If this is a colleague you’re friends with be kind to her but don’t pry or get embroiled - that won’t help anyone.

Original poster

dinoworld · 15/05/2026 19:36

SoScarletItWas · 15/05/2026 19:35

Why? You said it was another person who was now in a meeting for 90 mins with HR etc.

It’s nothing to do with you. Unless you are the person they raised the grievance about - and you think there’s another one coming.

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There won't be another one, would there?

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SoScarletItWas · 15/05/2026 19:36

Jeeeez stop editing posts when people are replying!!!

ourSusie · 15/05/2026 19:36

dinoworld · 15/05/2026 19:04

When you exhaust everything? Grievance - wasn't withheld, appealed, same. People who report into that person don't like their management.

What happens then?

lots and lots of lovely interviews for lovely other jobs

SoScarletItWas · 15/05/2026 19:35

dinoworld · 15/05/2026 19:32

Yes it is to do with me. If I have an issue I want to know whAt ekSe can be done.

I don't think she's getting fairly treated and want to know how to support her.

She's been called into a meeting and is crying her eyes out. They won't tell her what it's about.

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Why? You said it was another person who was now in a meeting for 90 mins with HR etc.

It’s nothing to do with you. Unless you are the person they raised the grievance about - and you think there’s another one coming.

Original poster

dinoworld · 15/05/2026 19:35

Lavender14 · 15/05/2026 19:24

I think you need to get a copy of the complaints/grievance policy for your workplace and check you've fully exhausted the process. If you are satisfied that you have exhausted the process (including appeals if applicable) even if you are not satisfied with the resolution itself then there's really nothing more you can do.

At that point I'd be looking to change job.

Is it possible that the grievance against the manager hasn't been upheld because the manager has been acting according to the smt expectations and company culture?

I'd also get a copy of your job description and contract and check that work being asked of you definitely falls within that although many companies include 'other duties as required ' to cover themselves.

Personally I'd be meeting with a careers advisor and looking to move job. A careers advisor would also help you identify if this issue is something common in the field or if you'd prefer a career move.

Thanks. We had careers advisors in school but not sure how an employed adult would fine one?

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Original poster

dinoworld · 15/05/2026 19:32

SoScarletItWas · 15/05/2026 19:29

Nothing to do with you. Certainly nothing to start a thread about! Bizarre.

Yes it is to do with me. If I have an issue I want to know whAt ekSe can be done.

I don't think she's getting fairly treated and want to know how to support her.

She's been called into a meeting and is crying her eyes out. They won't tell her what it's about.

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SoScarletItWas · 15/05/2026 19:32

dinoworld · 15/05/2026 19:24

Just wondering why there is another meeting

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We can see your original posts before edits. If you’re going to keep retrospectively editing things, the thread is going to be even more pointless than it already is.