Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my son to let me know how his GCSEs are going?

133 replies

Youshouldbestrongerthanme · 15/05/2026 15:30

Son is with his dad this week.
I asked him before he went back to please let me know how his exams were going.
Nothing since Tuesday.
Husband says this is just "typcial teenage behaviour" but I kind of disagree?
Also, if son was with me, I'd be gently encouraging him to message Dad to let him know all was good. Ex-husband would never do this the other way around, however.

OP posts:
Original poster
Youshouldbestrongerthanme · 15/05/2026 16:35

@Whattodo127845I have. I have sent one message. But that's apparently "hounding" him according to some on here (who probably have zero experience of not living with their children).
Anyone on here who does?

OP posts:
Whattodo127845 · 15/05/2026 16:32

Why have you not just contacted him? You'd rather go online and ask if you're AIBU that message your own child. Madness!

Original poster
Youshouldbestrongerthanme · 15/05/2026 16:32

@titchy That's not what I asked?

OP posts:
titchy · 15/05/2026 16:31

Youshouldbestrongerthanme · 15/05/2026 16:26

@Isittimeformynapyet I assume your kids live with you? It's very different when they don't.

No it’s not. They should never be put in the position of managing your expectations, whoever’s week it is, and particularly not mid-exams.

Poppingby · 15/05/2026 16:30

If I were you (and my kids live with me full time but ignore me most of that full time) I would send a nice congratulatory message with lots of annoying emojis about finishing the first week of exams. He will ignore it I expect but at least you've done it.

onlygeese · 15/05/2026 16:30

I will say as well though OP that I find my dc taking exams much more stressful than doing them myself. I can't wait for exam results day to be over.

LeaderBee · 15/05/2026 16:30

Probably stressed enough and doesn't need people hounding him further about it.

Original poster
Youshouldbestrongerthanme · 15/05/2026 16:29

@Besafeeatcake I have messaged him. It is usually ignored.

OP posts:
onlygeese · 15/05/2026 16:28

I think it's a bit pointless to ask because they really don't know. My dc will say a little bit either way but they can't really say. They are also really tired and really stressed.

Original poster
Youshouldbestrongerthanme · 15/05/2026 16:28

@Sirzy Our divorce isn't exactly new for him - we've been separated and 50/50 since he was 3.
Do you have any experience of separated families at all?

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/05/2026 16:27

Poppingby · 15/05/2026 15:35

I mean it is typical teenage behaviour. Annoying.

This is what I was going to say. Teens will be teens unfortunately!

He probably doesn’t need the added pressure of having to give a progress report right now.

Edit - but also I think it’s on you to ask!

cadburyegg · 15/05/2026 16:27

You need to be more proactive and contact him to ask him. Not just wait for him to tell you

Besafeeatcake · 15/05/2026 16:26

So instead of messaging your son and asked you are annoyed at your ex for not prompting him to let you know?

GCSE's mean your son is 15/16 and fully capable of writing that text if he wanted to. YABU.

Original poster
Youshouldbestrongerthanme · 15/05/2026 16:26

@Isittimeformynapyet I assume your kids live with you? It's very different when they don't.

OP posts:
PygmyOwl · 15/05/2026 16:26

Your DS is probably stressed already - don't give him another thing to have to think about.

MerylSqueak · 15/05/2026 16:25

I understand that you're worried but they're under souch pressure they don't need any other thing to think about. We're purely support services at the moment. He'll appreciate it much more if you leave him free to deal with it as he feels is best.

stichguru · 15/05/2026 16:23

I honestly don't think he probably knows. Unless there's something big like he missed most of the questions, or was too unwell to complete the exam, it's probably just a really hard thing to describe.

maybethisway · 15/05/2026 16:22

Leave him be.

tarheelbaby · 15/05/2026 16:21

TBF, no one really knows for sure until the marks come back.

DD2 is in the midst of hers. I ask her each day and she mostly replies, 'fine'
If she feels it's gone well, she might tell me a bit more.

Boomer55 · 15/05/2026 16:20

Youshouldbestrongerthanme · 15/05/2026 15:30

Son is with his dad this week.
I asked him before he went back to please let me know how his exams were going.
Nothing since Tuesday.
Husband says this is just "typcial teenage behaviour" but I kind of disagree?
Also, if son was with me, I'd be gently encouraging him to message Dad to let him know all was good. Ex-husband would never do this the other way around, however.

You’ll know when he gets his results.

ivegotthisyeah · 15/05/2026 16:16

I can’t a think out of mine!! If I gently press I get snarled at! Can’t win!!

Sartre · 15/05/2026 16:02

I find my DD’s very receptive to messages but DS never ever checks them. You have to call him to get a reaction and sometimes that even fails so I end up playing find my on his phone if it’s urgent to get his attention! So yeah I’d say in my experience it’s typical of teenage boys… Even if you asked he’d probably just grunt.

Upstartled · 15/05/2026 15:59

It's quite hard to talk about though, isn't it? Too confident and you worry you'll jinx it, too worried about it and then people extend the misery by talking about it.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 15/05/2026 15:56

Is your son ignoring your messages? Or are you not messaging him? Not sure why he needs to update you when he’s not with you though really, he’s probably busy and stressed.

Isittimeformynapyet · 15/05/2026 15:52

He's coping with his exams at the moment - he shouldn't have to manage your emotions as well. You're the adult so you should do that for yourself.

Swipe left for the next trending thread