To expect my son to let me know how his GCSEs are going?

Exams are stressful enough as it is without having to rehash them for mum! Give him a break whilst he’s going through the exam season, you’ll find out soon enough how they went anyway.

I get that it’s hard when they are not living with you all the time. He’s a teenager though and as others have said offer him support, remind him you care without any expectations or additional pressure. He is no doubt trying to just get on with it and would respond if he wanted to. It very much comes across that this is about you and your feelings/needs and not about what he will gain from these messages. If this is an ongoing pattern then you could risk pushing him away.

Firstly, typical teenager.

Secondly, what they say or feel has no bearing on how well they did. DD2 was in tears after her biology last year because she wasn't happy with how it went, she got an 8. DD1 the year before told us every exam was 'fine' but admitted later she wasn't happy with some of them but didn't want to discuss it.

I would just let him get on with it. If he wants to let you know he will. Mine has said "fine" every time I've asked how an exam was or how his revision is going. It's a stressful time for them even for the ones who outwardly act like they aren't bothered. Just be there if they need you and let them get through it in their own way.

I'm surprised a 15 year old would feel insulted at receiving a tenner as a small boost at the end of each exam week. Is it too much or too little? Is he very spoilt or are you all super rich? 🤔

I’m surprised that still 50/50 one week at yours and one week with dad at this age

I have just got a “good”every time I have asked. And I haven’t probed further. These are stressful times and throw in the hormones…. They need their breathing space.

I admit I’m spoiling him rotten at the moment. Baths run in at the end of the day; snacks and drinks brought to him; not nagging if he forgets to hang up towel etc.

They’ve literally just started. Realistically, if he came home after an exam you’d say “how was it?” He’d say “er yeah okay” and that would be it. You’re not going to get a meaningful description from most teens. I think you let them get on, be there if they want to open up and otherwise wait for the results. Dd1 did not want to talk about GCSEs at all during that period and we all walked in egg shells for a few weeks. Thankfully she’s much calmer doing her alevels.

He has, I've sent him a message most days asking how his day was and he has either replied with something about his exams or general chitchat. He is very academic and exams aren't a worry for him.

Contact is whenever he wants it, however he wants it. It is hard so I do sympathise with you but you need to let your son lead in this.

And why don't you have his account details?

x-psot, so he's coming back, hopefully this weekend?

I know all people have different financial expectations, but why is a tenner in addition to usual pocket money is an insult?

Some kids do want to talk though each section, what they put, if they think they got all the mark scheme points in etc, some don’t - they’ve done it and are mentally dropping it until results day and just focussing on the next exam. would I be right that you were the former type when you were at school?

You want information about how the exam went, but you don’t need it and there’s nothing you can do with that info anyway.

Will he stay with you next week?

Your son should have zero have-to's other than revising, resting, and trying to eat well.

My dc is doing GCSEs right now.

They come home from school absolutely wiped. Then they need to recharge as ,much as possible on the day and carry on revising, rinse repeat. It's relentless.

Or transfer a tenner at the end of each week - just stuff like that. You have to boost him, not him you.

Leave him.

That's all, just leave him in peace.

Only send messages like, thinking of you, am very proud! Or This must be a tough week but you'll get through. Sending lots of love.
adding: I know you've got this but if there is anything I can do for you, let me know. Even send him a mini care parcel with some nice perfume you know he likes a book if he likes to read, his favourite sweet. With a postcard saying wishing you luck.

Then, leave him.

Do not be needy for him to reassure you during this challenging period.

My middle one lives with his dad and is currently doing GCSE's.

I agree with the posters saying that he is under enough pressure without having to have go over the how was the exam was to his dad and then to you. I also think you are being rude to those posters because they aren't agreeing with you.

You are struggling with feeling out of the loop. That's a you thing.

I’m sure this week could be an exception considering what is happening

It’d be nice but is that the relationship you have with your son? If not why’s that his fault? He’s a teenager and he’s at his other parents house. Even more difficult for him if you and his dad don’t speak with each other properly.