To not contribute to DH child maintenance

She IS providing for him, as he is with them for the week, the husband now has no income and and he is being fed and housed etc. If anything the ex owes THEM for the week! There is certainly no CM due for this week!

Sounds like he works in the construction industry as a self employed sub contractor. You’ve no rights, no parental leave, no sick leave etc. Work dries up, you’re out. Same with delayed parts and supplies, endless shitty weather, having an accident or calling off at the last minute. No rights and you are out. It’s a legitimate government industry but extremely shit. Absolutely standard in the building industry.

my step-sons dad was quite hard work. He has a restraining order in place preventing him talking to my wife after he assaulted her. He assaulted me too but I accepted he needed one contact with one of us.

he was a very much part time dad. We had moved 3 hours drive away, but I would drive half way on a Friday and Sunday every 3 weeks.

At his house there would be no limits, just fun. Step-son always struggled to settle down to normal life after a visit and we are convinced dad encouraged him to misbehave. Eventually he got what he wanted and step-son went to live with him.

one of my favourite conversations ever was the one when he asked me about what maintenance. I said good news you don’t have to pay it anymore…

anyway he seemed to think I was going to pay it.. I think not’

he also found out that you repeat you sow and full time dad work was a lot harden than the part time!

@TwinklySquid I understand where you’re coming from, but I have no sympathy for a parent contributing the bare minimum, quibbling child maintenance because actually caring for their child leads to loss of earnings. Millions of mothers face the same issue
due to last minute childcare issues or limited work opportunities in general because of being the main carer. You take the hit and pool the money from where ever you can, because it’s in the best interest of the child. poor behaviour from the other parent should never be an excuse not to provide for your child.

I don't know the full circumstances but is it at all possible she's still bitter at losing her husband to another woman if that is what happened as it sounds like she wants to make things as difficult as possible and is dishing out some kind of punishment?

My ex has my daughter eow and pays maintenance . I agree that it doesn’t cover all the work I do. However, if I got him to loose his job my actions, I’d be very cheeky in asking money.

Put your own oxygen mask on first . Quite frankly- f**k her!
She knew what she was doing . Tell her to go via CMS

Poor kid. Îd rather have him live with you full time and see his mum at week ends if she regularly pulls tricks like this. It must be quite destabilizing for him. I definitely wouldn’t send her any money.

@PyongyangKipperbang and as they should?
I would suggest that as a family unit they do have an income to provide the child maintenance, and although don’t have to legally, morally I wouldn’t bat an eyelid about helping to provide financially for a step child that was part of my family unit.

Well he can't as he no longer has a job, and OP says very clearly that she goes away three times a year that they arrange time off for, and factor into their financial arrangements as he is self employed. Sounds more like it was a last minute decision to go away so she knew he wouldnt be able to say yes if she asked him in advance, so presented him with a fait accompli.

Ridiculous.

not That I condone it, but I was thinking the same thing. I don’t think EOW constitutes actual parenting and I doubt whatever maintenance is paid makes up for the 85% of workload the mother makes up for. So personally I would still pay the child maintenance.

A father who can't support him because his mother selfishness cost him his job! His father put him first at the expense of his job, I would say that that is a pretty good role model.

I feel very sorry for the 12yo boy in this situation. What a crappy mother he has and a father who can’t support him. I hope he has some other role models within the family and a good head on his shoulders. I predict life will be an uphill battle for him at least some of the way!!!

OP you are not responsible for Dss maintenance ex should have given you more notice and she knows, cf did it in purpose to purely inconvenience you and now your DH lost his job, hope he can find another one soon

You can tell her to fuk off and then fuk off a little bit further. No one forgets they are going on holiday and your husband has lost his job because of her selfishness. Not a penny.

How do people live in situations like this?

Not your problem. Feed him, buy him stuff if you need to or want to but not her.

You don’t have to pay anything. You have no legal obligation to do so. Do not pay a dime. Let her go to CMS. It’s an issue between him and his ex and id stay out of it.

I’d be explaining that actually as you have had him full time this week she I’m fact owes your DH child maintenance if she wants to play like that

I’m not one to say step parents should be responsible for the step kids but in this case I think I would have taken the week off to prevent my DP loosing a contract.

How many of us parents - single or with a partner - get to have a break away from home ánd without our child(ren)? I think most of us just plan our vacations around the children's school calender, and are happy to sneak out for lunch with a friend during all those other weeks.

I'm confused how he lost his job if he is self employed - is he a freelancer that lost a contract for poor performance?

She didn't leave her child with his father - she rang from the airport saying he was alone and the dad's responsibility - that is abandonment

I think I would have forked out for a taxi to school and then home again and taken that off the maintenance that your hubby should have paid. Whilst Inappreciate your husband is self employed so lost his job, you could have taken emergency parental leave as with a disabled child (asd is a disability legally) you could have made arrangements to get home to meet the taxi