To not contribute to DH child maintenance

I know someone who did just that, his new wife worked shifts and when had their child. They decided he would be the stay at home dad. As he worked shifts too and it was hard to get childcare.
Only had his first child every other weekend.

Tell her to piss up a rope

Indeed, but a response does not necessarily imply disagreement or criticism.

I was actually agreeing with your suggestion as to why the child's mother might have acted as she did. I then added a further comment noting that, regardless of her reasons, this wasn't the OP's problem. That was not intended to suggest that you thought it should be the OP's problem, it was merely a statement of fact.

I doubt he would have lost his job if they had any other option.

This was Sunday evening with an autistic child who suddenly found out at same time as his dad that things have drastically changed

Finding a babysitter who will managed a young man who routine has unexpectedly gone out the window and will.be different again if he can't go to school isn't going to easy or workout.

@MagnoIiadid it not occur to you that maybe the child’s mother moved away from her ex husband?
Always blame the father eh?

And that's why its the children I feel sorry for.

Sometimes to stay in the line of their career people just need to go where the work is. Its not always as easy as get work at home.

Ooh I feel for you. My stepdd came one weekend and her mum refused to take her back, so we had her for years before she went to uni. I found out after a year that DH was still paying child support, I was furious. I suppose she needed the money for her brand new merc, grrrr!

The poor child. How much is the maintenance? Hopefully it's not a pitiful sum, which is often the case with self-employed non resident parents.

Traditionally, replies are a response to the message they quote.

Does your dh worry at all about how his son's needs will be met without his maintenance?

He probably cares more that his ex does, swanning off without ensuring how her son would manage?

The ex is responsible for his inability to pay, the 'mother' knew exactly what she was doing, calling from the airport and 'forgetting' her son, if she did forget his existence she is guilty of child neglect. The OP should not have to pay for her neglect of her child, it's entirely the 'mother's' fault.

Are your DS with your DH or are they stepchildren?

Only reason I’m asking is because while the ex seems horrid (and irresponsible to just bolt without making sure the child has proper arrangements!), if you work PT and DH contributes towards your children, then I do think it’s fair you’re also expected to contribute to his, if that makes sense.

Surely it is illegal to fire someone taking parental leave? I’d challenge that!

and yeah you not liable for the maintenance

I never knew that.

I’m not sure how I feel about that tbh.

Part of me agrees with it but then part of me finds it unfair.

A man can leave his wife and kids, go shack up with someone else, he could then choose to work PT or not at all if she’s got a good career and then it’s his kids who miss out.

just text her

If you feel that I should be paying child maintenance for DDS then please do put in a claim to the CMS and I will compile with all their requests and we can take it from there. For now though until I hear from the CMS I am not responding to any more message concerning this matter.

You're not unreasonable to not pay. Your husband's child support payments aren't your responsibility. Even CMS will inform her that your wages wouldn't be used to calculate what maintenance is payable to her as he is your husband's son not yours. Plus to be honest she's already admitted that she's counted on that money for her holiday spends-lets not forget that it's a holiday that she was never planning on including her son in. What she has done is underhanded and did she even tell her son that he was staying at his dad's for a week whilst she jetted off on holiday planning to use his dad's contribution to his upbringing to spend on herself?

He's self employed. Probably lost a contract over it ....

Was that really the only option? Like others have said was there no one he could ask? Would you have lost your job if you took emergency leave? Taxi? Kid staying home with a babysitter for the week? Anything would have been better than losing a job (is that even legal in the UK - to fire someone like that/)

You have absolutely no obligation to pay any maintenance to his ex. None.

Does your dh worry at all about how his son's needs will be met without his maintenance?

My ex expected me to pay when he quit his job. I didn’t because I was already covering DSC costs when with us, it caused huge fall outs but I’m glad I stuck to my guns.

My DSD is now an adult but when she was a child we only had her EOW as her Mum wanted to do weekend stuff with her as well so we shared weekend. We were not near enough to her to have her mid week. We took her on holidays, as did her Mum. You can't assume that EOW just suits the Dad, it might be mutual consent, not saying it is but ...

Obviously you shouldn't and can't pay her, your household will need all your income now.

You’re not liable to cover any shortfalls in CM.

My DH’s ex-wife tried this. 24hrs after we got married she demanded he call her and discuss the increase in CM she would be getting now his household had two incomes. She took it to CMS who told her that’s not how it works!

Just ignore her.