26 weeks pregnant and ex has sent me a letter, I am broken

Well I'll tell you something. If he thinks this is harassment he doesn't know what real harassment is. I have had my address tweeted and photos of my house put online. Parcels sent to my home. Threats to maim and kill me - and police did nothing.

He started this when he locked her out. Imagine being 26 weeks and you have someone who locks you out of the home you've been living in for a year and then refuses to communicate with you

If you ‘needed’ help with harassment you’d go to the police. And before you did that, you’d tell your pregnant ex not to contact you.
any more. And before you did that, you’d probably try to be a decent person and end the relationship properly, rather than changing the locks.

Whatever ‘his side of the story’ is, his behaviour is unacceptable.

If money is no object, get that cms claim in hand the day your baby is born

The police told me not to block so I had evidence of harassment.

he should have told her to stop. But he didn’t.

He's the father of her child. She was wanting to know why he changed the locks. The volume of communication might be an issue but it would be more of an issue if she was being threatening

If I didn't want to hear from someone. I would block them. Police have better things to do.

In that case I don’t think I’d be engaging a solicitor at this stage.

Why do you want to talk to him? If someone was that awful to me I wouldn’t go anywhere near him let alone want him near my baby. I was move, not tell him where you are and get on with your life with your wonderful new baby. Your baby is so much better with just you.

I would get in touch with a local church or something and take as much support as you can. You can get a lot of what you need for your baby from free bay etc.

You need to awaken your mama bear

I was stopped once with my kids - I reverted to my maiden name on divorce and we were stopped coming back from Ohio.

What she cannot do is add him to the birth certificate
or to be forced to do so.

His name can be added to the birth certificate later on by court order. This can be without OP’s consent (or alternatively without his consent if OP pursues it through the courts instead).

Sorry no. She's done nothing to put him in a state of fear and alarm. She's been polite throughout. No threats. He could have responded and said go away or blocked her. He did neither. Once more. Why are you constantly putting the boot into the OP. Because that's what you are doing.

I’m not victim blaming her.

im autistic and my tone is sometimes off for which I apologise.

ive also been harassed and stalked, and someone messaging me hundreds of times, emailing 20 times and call in a similar amount would definitely be something I would go to the police about.

Having a baby tests even the strongest of relationships, if this man can’t even cope with a pregnancy where you’re doing all the heavy lifting he’s doing you and the baby a huge favour by telling you now he’s not up to snuff. Have the DNA test, collect the maintenance he owes you and only contact him via lawyers. You have a job and a house you can totally raise a baby alone!

Fully agree. I travel frequently between the EU country we are resident of and the UK. My children have different a surname and it is often questioned.

I have never felt inconvenienced. I am glad that these checks are in place.

Garbage. People are just making stuff up off the top of their heads now. The OP posted on here for support. Is she getting it?

Op, please read everything with a pinch of salt and bear in mind we aren't all mothers here or women. Make no assumptions about the posters or their own agendas..

the problem with harassment is that it’s based on how the victim feels. Which is why this man can say that after the 2nd contact he felt harassed.

she can deny it - she contacted him and he can say he felt harassed. It is just the way the law is written.

The police will laugh him out the station. Police did nothing for me when I was stalked for over a year and got death threats and parcels sent to my home. I don't know what your issue is but you seem to have something against the OP. Why is that? You think it's ok the way he's behaved over this. Why are you victim blaming someone who posted on here looking for support?

Interesting. You may be right. Expensive though.

I wonder if it would benefit OP to be able to send a letter denying harassment considering the circumstances?
A solicitor on this thread already said she’d do nothing though so I’m really not sure 🤔

Unless you know him I have no clue how you can determine whether you’d be ‘surprised’ about his next steps.

If he does go to the police he’ll find out how difficult it is to get harassment taken seriously, and I’m not certain that the OP’s description of daily polite texts or emails would even meet the threshold for harassment.

This is absolute crap. Anyone can send a cease and desist based on one side of a story. You're trying to suggest she's been sleeping around?

Fucking hilarious. I was sent two cease and desist letters by two staff I line managed in a job. Both were harassing me. One was sacked. That decision wasn't mine. Anyone can ask a lawyer to send a letter - it doesn't mean it's true

Oh you again 🙄

Hmm are you sure its a legit letter? He could be playing manipulative games to make out your the one harassing him but if this did go down the police route he can say he sent you that letter requesting no contact. Some people just get off on controlling people its awful i know its how they get their own sense of worth because they haven't got it from themselves.
If you do want to pursue for financial support you can go to child maintenance service if you are in the UK. They will organise the paternity test and if it turns out he is the father HE will need to pay for it, if he denies to take it then he will be deemed the childs father and be liable for maintence. Please note they are not always successful in collecting money alot of fathers find a way to cheat the system.

Legally she can call the child whatever she likes. She could even put your surname on the birth certificate if it took her fancy. What she cannot do is add him to the birth certificate
or to be forced to do so. She cannot even be compelled to get a dna test.

its not that he doesn’t know if the baby is his, he doesnt want the baby to be his and is doing what he can to remove himself from what he considers her problem. It’s an age old tactic. Let’s not pretend men always automatically and heroically accept parentage when they don’t want children, they cause problems, make their ex partner out to be mental and then demand dna before paying their contributions, if they even do at all.

OP may not have behaved perfectly but she’s in a tough position and she doesn’t need the stress made worse by this manchild’s inability to take responsibility for his unprotected sperm ejections.

Not sure OP should give a nasty piece of work like him the power of parental rights for the sake of CMS. Obviously that would also depend his and her financial situation.