AIBU to wonder whether you ever fully get over abuse?

I don't think you can be unchanged by the experience of abuse, but you can deal with the trauma symptoms with support.

There's an excellent course called Own My Life, do Google it. It takes a trauma-informed approach to supporting women to heal from abuse and to move forward with a sense of agency and confidence. I've heard a lot of good things from abuse survivors who have done the course.

It can be accessed in person or on Zoom and the website will tell you where the nearest course is, many organisations provide it for free or for minimal cost.

I've had counselling which helped. But I find it can be ok for ages then something will take me right back there and I panic. My therapist taught me several grounding techniques which can help in those times but are not for everyone.
I do t think I'll ever 'get over it' but I'm safe and happy and that's enough for me for now

I don’t think it’s a bad thing particularly but I’ll never forget and there’s parts of my character which were formed by my experience.

But I have learned to love myself and that’s all part of me.

Like the first poster said, sometimes you keep doing things you need to do that you wouldn’t have done otherwise. I’m ok with that.

I haven’t found therapy that helped though, not a single one has helped but I know some people do find it helpful.

Some things in life you get through but never get over. You just have to manage life as best you can, and see the positive in things and situations.

No ..

If someone doesn't understand the symptoms of PTSD then they've at least never experienced something that gave them PTSD. Which is "charmed life" enough compared to someone who has experienced something that gave then PTSD.

A good book I read was the body keeps score or similar title and it reminded me that we don’t have to conform to the blissful in their lucky ignorance lifestyle.

What an odd turn of phrase. I'd never assume anyone else led a charmed life.

Just keep going to therapy and be kind to yourself.
Getting over abuse isn’t everything going back to how it was or how you were.
It’s more about getting to a place where you are unapologetically doing whatever you need to do to feel safe.
Night light on, so what?
Prefer to relax upstairs- perfectly ok.

Not everything is mind over body. A good book I read was the body keeps score or similar title and it reminded me that we don’t have to conform to the blissful in their lucky ignorance lifestyle. There’s nothing inherently wrong in having habits that increase personal security or just make us feel comfortable.