AIBU to expect some tidying from MIL while babysitting at ours?

“My mother would have done all that, mopped the floor, hoovered and poured me a glass of wine.”

My mother would have said fuck that, get a cleaner, there are some left overs in the fridge and here’s the bill for the take aways/cafe/ice cream while wondering what I brought her from abroad as a gift. 🤣

Why is it on you to sort it, what about DH?

Depends how full on the children were. It might have taken all her time and energy to get them fed and upstairs to bed!
It’s not nice coming home to a mess though.

And yes absolutely this about the kids still being up and asking for water.

My mum would’ve have the place cleaned, washing done and ironed and a meal waiting.

But yeah, you can’t insist..

She sounds just like MIL @Sofitella who played with the DC and would give them a tea I had prepared, with instructions and would have bathed them and put them to bed. However, she wouldn't have wiped the table, put the dishes in the dishwasher or emptied a swimming bag. And she'd have sat, waiting for me to make her a drink as soon as I got home.

My mother would have done all that, mopped the floor, hoovered and poured me a glass of wine.

MIL was grubby and lazy. Mother wasn't. MIL was better with the DC though.

When the DC were tinies they were early 60s and retired I'm now mid 60s and still working. I'd do tea, bath stories bed, clear up in the kitchen and sort out the swimming/PE kit. I wouldn't mop or hoover but I'd hand you a glass and put your dinner in the microwave. Then scarper home or to bed asap.

I would ask her to please let the dogs out, but I wouldn’t expect her to be sorting things like swimming bags!

what a mum can do is often not welcomed by a MIL, so I don’t blame her for not wanting to interfere.

Surely your kids know to get up and ask for/make a drink of water?

I bet my last penny that she didn’t make all that mess herself.

How old are your children? Old enough to make their own beds and unpack their bags or do you do everything for them? If so having them day and night for days explains why she is exhausted reading on the sofa while you are just exhausted of sitting in a plane with no distractions for some hours.

Now, the dogs… they should have been let out. But if you expected her to walk them too, you should have got a dog walker.

She should have let the dogs out and cleaned her dishes (presuming they are hers and not from this morning). I wouldn’t have expected her to wash the swimming kit. The dumped school bags are surely on the kids. And none of that is massive, I don’t get how that constitutes the house being a tip? Unless there’s a load more mess totally unrelated to MIL but that wouldn’t be her fault or responsibility to clean up. I don’t really follow tbh.

Yabvvvu to 'expect' anything. Schoolbags, swim gear, dishes, all basic stuff that can be done in a few minutes. Its your dcs mess, so its your mess. And by your, I mean you and dh. Where is your dh in all this?

Your kids and DH created the mess so they should be the ones to clean it up. Not MIL.

She should have let the dogs out but if you are one of these people who don't have a fenced off slabbed area then I can't blame her. Nobody wants to clean up muddy paws and wet dog that aren't theirs.

Seriously?

no. She’s doing you a favour and you want more?

She would be cleaning up after your kids, though, not herself. Unless she herself shat on the living room floor or something?

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t!
I’ve seen plenty of threads where MILs have been berated for ‘interfering’ in similar circumstances

Im beginning to think us MILs can’t win whatever we do

She should have let the dogs out but that’s all.

Does she work? I look after my grandkids when needed. But if I’ve been to work all day, I’m pretty shattered. I wouldn’t leave mess everywhere but also wouldn’t get stuck into a full on tidy up either.

I always try and clear up before my daughter gets home from work. Sometimes house is very tidy other times not so tidy . Yes it’s a favour to babysit every Friday .I just try and be as helpful as I can .
Edired to say my daughter certainly doesn’t expect me to do anything apart from keeping her children safe !

Was your husband on the business trip with you or just an ordinary day at work. If he was just at work he can clear up? If he was just at work how much of the mess was already there when she arrived? Is the swimming kit from today? If your MIL arrived to a mess that your husband has left perhaps she thinks he should clean it up.

so your kids created that tornado in a short space of time and you think she had time to watch them AND clean?
Another question, if she couldn’t very kindly help you out who else would have did it and why didn’t you ask them instead?

OP isn’t asking the MIL to tidy the house in general, just tidy the top layer mess that was made during her watch. It’s basic stuff. She should be doing it. You don’t go to other people’s houses and leave a mess!

It would be nice and she really should have let the dogs out, that's cruel. If your husband knows how she babysits then leave the mess to him, but ultimately she's done your family a favour.

You asked her babysit. Not be a housemaid.

I wouldn't expect someone who was already doing me a huge favour to tidy up, no. I'd be hugely grateful if they chose to but I wouldn't think badly of them if they didn't.

How old are your children? Can they not ask for drinks or get themselves water?

Yep. I’d expect a bit more. Yes she’s probably knackered too but in my mind it all goes with looking after the kids.

where’s your DH in all this ?

Everyone else is saying YABU but I clicked YANBU. A grown adult leaving wet swimming stuff in a bag on the floor. It’s disrespectful and lazy.

i know all the folk will be here soon saying mothers and mother in laws are older and tired etc can’t do things like that. But fuck yes they can. Put the plates in the dishwasher you lazy Deborah!!