AIBU to expect some tidying from MIL while babysitting at ours?

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We did but I think it was mum that time

If she’s a MNer she will. Oh and don’t let MIL see the baby for the first few months - the DM is fine but DIL wants ‘our little family’. When she doesn’t meet it, she mustn’t cuddle it. But she must be suitably interested and send lots of presents (but only the ones the DIL specifically wants)

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta our first grandchild is due next week. If DIL carries on like that, she'll get all.

Can I just get this straight, the rules for MILs are:

Must only want to spend time with the children under the strict supervision of DIL. Must not play with the children too much or too little.

Must never be left alone with the children unless DIL needs free childcare. But must drop everything to provide said childcare because the children will hate her when they grow up if she doesn’t. And must be keen but not too keen.

When providing free childcare, must adhere to every rule or DIL will withdraw contact.

Mustn’t touch DIL’s stuff or tidy as it’s a passive aggressive snipe at the housekeeping skills of the family.

Must tidy up as it’s selfish not to while providing childcare.

Got it

Ohh the shoes. We are a no shoes house too and my parents will walk through the house with muddy shoes on and say I’m OCD 😩

I think you’re fortunate to have had childcare whilst you were both at work. I wouldn’t expect anything beyond safe kids.

Is it HER swimming stuff? And HER schoolbag? If not then it's not tidying up after HERSELF, it's tidying up the belongings of your children, the children she's minding for a bit to help out!

YABVU. Clean your own house and be grateful you’ve got someone to babysit for free.

Had to hose the bin down out the back, air the downstairs out and clean what was a clean kitchen when I left! Not to mention my FIL walking about on freshly mopped floors with his work shoes (we are a shoes off house with young kids too).

The smell of fish haunted my pregnancy nose all night! More hassle than it was worth 🫠

Who took the kids swimming?

There is the point indeed.
OP needs to clarify that.

I would have expected the swim stuff to have been sorted

but according to the op, her mil didn’t do swimming, that was the dad. And yet, utterly bizarrely, it was the female who was expected to hang the swim stuff, not the male. I am so so bored of misogyny that’s everywhere.

Of course, I agree with that. I wouldn’t want to clean another adults mess. I took OP post to mean that the mess in the house was created while MIL was there was the children and was not left by the DH.

Your MIL is in a catch 22 situation.
If she tidied up she would have been accused of being judgmental as the house was messy. Possibly snooping as well.
By not tidying she is accused of being lazy.
Maybe she thought it was best not to do anything in case you didn’t want her to.

I came on with the intent of saying that you are BU, but having read the scenario I ve changed my mind.
Simple things like not letting pets out, dealing with swimming kit and so on are pretty basic.
I’d never leave a kitchen messy
even if I had cooked, if it was a small
amount of washing up then I’d do it.
Would MiL know how busy and tough your day was? If not, then the pressure would be more on DH than her.

I think it is not fair to expect anyone to sort a mess other adult left behind. If the MIL was there only for bedtime, to put them in bed, then someone else left the messy items around, not MIL.
If it was the MIL who took them swimming, and fed them, then yeah, fair enough to expect leaving the place in a tidy way after yourself.
But if it was the children's father, for example, why is MIL expected to tidy up?

I actually have to correct myself there! I read the OP again: MIL was asked to help put the children in bed and supervise till they got home, that all it says. Not even bath. I made that one up.
But many PP seem to think MIL had something to do with swimming, feeding them and their school bags.

Ok? Normally babysitting in the evening equals bath and bedtime.

So, in the first post it states that the MIL was there for bath time, bed time and supervise after that.
It dies not say that MIL picked the children from school. So why does she need to tidy the children bags?
It does not say that MIL took the children swimming, so why does MIL need to tidy up the bags with the wet clothes? Same for the dinner and dishes. Someone else did not tidy it up. But OP is taking it with MIL

It says, bath, bed, watch them.... But, OP, please clarify, did your mother in law pick the children from school, took them swimming, then fed them, then bath and bed? Or only bath and bed?

I haven’t got a mother or a MIL any more. But when I had I was grateful for any help that they could give with my children, I’d rather they were playing/feeding bathing them than doing housework. OP, are you a bit house proud? As it’s been said many times before on here, there’s a reason why 60+ women don’t have children, it’s exhausting however retired and fit you are.

Ageist nonsense.

Nailed it….

She was doing you a favour - maybe next time, leave her a list of things she needs to ensure are done

Where did I say unprompted
And what on earth do u mean a long time since I've been a mother? When does that stop??

Fyi there's 5 years between my youngest child and my eldest DGC