She watches my IG story daily AIBU to msg her

WTW?

You think your friend is setting traps, but that has nothing to do with @neveraskingtime's posts. What is she supposed to do, never post a recipe again ?

Why are people so small-minded and hateful to anyone whose story they don't understand? What do you get out of speculation of her motives? Don't spread nastiness as if you KNOW why she posts every day. Lots of people post daily with no ulterior motives. In fact, why are are you so sure your friend does this? Maybe you've misjudged her as well.

So are you saying if you met another guy now, all looks good and a few months in you discover he has hidden his drug addiction you will continue the relationship and repeat the process all over again?

To be honest it sounds like a toxic group of friends and family and I'm assuming drugs was involved here. In that case your better of staying clear of them and living your life.

Condolences for the loss of your DP, but your energy is better spent moving on here rather than getting sucked into the potential drama with people casting themselves in and out. Protect your sanity, block her and move on.
.

It was her husband's family who blackballed her from anyone who knew him.

Unpopular opinion but I think you're allowed to do whatever you want. If it would bring you some closure or peace of mind to message, do it.

People can be very black and white on MN but it's not that big of a deal if you really want to out of nosiness. It's not like you have a reputation to uphold with the people she knows, either.

I would definitely message her for the plot and just block if she's unpleasant.

In the nicest way - you're (quite rightly) questioning the wisdom of these people being interested in your life 3 years on after the death of your fella.
Can you not apply this logic to yourself? Why are you bothered about what not very nice people think of you, 3 years on?

Please, do yourself a fav, walk away, make your account private for your mental health and online safety and live your life.

OP you can adjust Instagram stories so some are only seen by 'close friends' which are a list you can make in your settings. So you could be default change your settings so only a smaller, select group of people see the stories (unless you manually toggle the setting for an individual story to be public for all).

I can't understand why some posters are beimg so nasty.

Love isn't always easy or straightforward. Don't apologise for that.

There's a reason you aren't blocking her. You need to ask yourself why that is.

Don't contact her. She knows how to contact you if she wanted to.

6mths? That's like 5 minutes in relationship terms 🙄

"Took him to NA meetings, flushed his drugs, made ultimatums, performed drug searches"
That you decided to make this your life after barely knowing him, including trying for a baby, indicates that the issues in this 'relationship' went far beyond his drug use. His family owe you nothing, you were a stranger even though you seemed to fully throw yourself into 'saving' their child. You dealt with it for 3 months, they'd obviously been at it a lot longer.
Unless you love the drama, leave it be. The person is being nosy, not wanting a 'connection' with you. Truth is, his family and friends are likely the ones bonded over this, they're not going to let you in. Much better for you to seek your own support to help you in the way you need

I think you made choices that many people wouldn't have.

Just trying to understand what a timescale could be for meeting someone and them coming across as 'clean' while you were dating them, you deciding to move in together, after which you find out they are addicted to drugs and alcohol, you carrying on with the relationship despite this, and then within 6 months of meeting he died of an overdose. I thought from your initial posts it was an established relationship.

Ooofe! Hive it off in your mind under the title, 'Mad and a bit sad' and then get on living your lovely life. They will move on to someone else soon perhaps.

Just deleted this as cross posted!

im really sorry for what’s happened in your life OP, I definitely think moving on is the best thing for you, what with all the bad feeling from his side 🤍

If you absolutely have to bring it up, I’d maybe just ask how she was doing & just mention you noticed she’d viewed your story that day, I wouldnt say you’ve been checking for years!

But in this case, she doesn't follow her. The person viewing her stories is having to purposely seek out her profile every day, it's not just popping up on her feed as so many PP have said.

However I do think it's incredibly strange that OP hasn't just:

Made her profile private (who WANTS random people seeing your shit?)
Blocked the person viewing her stories

This is 3 years after a 6 month relationship. It's a bit strange imo

Very simple. Block/restrict or set profile to private. I wouldn’t reach out. Then I’d move on.

I know right? Barely a boyfriend surely at 6 months?

@neveraskingtime his ex has their child thankfully. I think I was more sad at having to say goodbye to the child thankfully my ex, dc was a smashing kid and I grew very attached. His mum was pretty amazing though and didn’t blame me at all. I actually contacted her when I figured out my ex was driving with him in the car off his face ( one of the many things we argued about) because I feared so much for his safety. I think he blamed me to a degree for being stopped from seeing him but I knew he would.

So you were only actually together for 6 months? How long after you met did you move in together?