She watches my IG story daily AIBU to msg her

Of course it's nasty. You could've written the above explaining your stance instead, but no you had a nasty dig about being boring. You're entitled to of course but have the courage to own it. God sake.

Ok, you're quite spiky. I've been nothing but kind to you, now am out.

Honestly just change your profile to private, why would you want someone that's not in your life lurking on your stories?

I'm sorry, @neveraskingtime , AIBU is such a cesspit. People fall over each other to try and give the most vile reply. I'm sorry they're also too stupid to understand Instagram.

I have seen this situation play out a couple of times at close quarters and it's hideous. I know it's a cliché, but all of the people pointing a finger at you, have 4 fingers pointing directly at themselves. As a PP pointed out, they are simply scapegoating you to assuage their own feelings of guilt. His own family involved him in drugs and alcohol from a very young age. Imagine going into the coroner's court and trying to blame someone else.

With regards to the person who checks your story every day - is it someone you feel may be less toxic than the others? If so, you could just send a simple 'how are you doing' message and see if they respond. I'm so sorry you're in this position which was not at all of your own making. People can be hideous. I went to the funeral of an addict. The toddler DC was running around and child's mother was banned from the funeral because the death was 100% her fault. She had kicked him out for being abusive and she was blamed for his death. Again, the coroner would not have a word said about this. It's just denial because people feel so guilty that they couldn't change the outcome, or indeed, may have contributed to it.

She's spying on you op not trying too reach out.
Block her or sort your settings or stop posting.

Also posters here need to look at themselves this is likely a vulnerable person no need to tear her down

I think your time would be better spent having counselling and trying to move on. No good can come from this. Block and move on

You absolutely can on Instagram. It's called a Close Friends List. It filters out who sees your stories. Maybe not the main grid posts. But definitely stories.

Give it a google. Very easy to set up for anyone who is interested

This is one of those non problems that is easily solvable. Yet you choose not to.

In Facebook, not in Instagram. Instagram is open to all or just friends but you cannot select who sees what.

To be honest OP if you really find it is too much, just block, no drama unless… are you enjoying the attention? She may be looking at your feed, she may not be looking but someone she interact with is in you friend list or she may not have many friends in Instagram which means your stories show often automatically in her feeds.

I love the lack of self-awareness in some MN posters' comments - as if they're better than you for not using IG every day when they themselves are probably posting on here everyday, doing things like calling socially ostracised grieving women "pathetic". MN is also social media, guys.

Anyway, as a PP said, you've absolutely been scapegoated by the family. I can only imagine the sense of failure having raised an addict would instil in a parent. The feeling that you had done something wrong that doomed your child would be so overwhelming, and the need to blame someone else for it would be hard to resist. That doesn't excuse their behaviour but it does maybe explain it.

Unfortunately you have become the fall guy, and I'm sure many of your DPs social circle on some level know this. But what would it bring you to contact this woman? Would it really comfort you if she was friendly? Would it devastate you if she was a spy? Maybe you need to just cut all of these people out of your life and move on for good. Have you coped well with the grief process? How are you more generally?

I’m struggling to understand why you’ve posted. You say it’s weird for her to view your stories, you don’t want to block her but you don’t want her to see your stuff but then you’re not bothered? Why even post then? What is it you do want?

No, she's just being nosy. If she has the same opinion as the family then she's spying and checking for gossip on you living your life and judging you, hence the holiday photo and the flurry of views after she's told the friendship group "hey, check this out, neveraskingtime couldn't give a shit about deceased partner, she's living it up on a tropical holiday", not realising that if tables were turned, she would be getting on with life in the same situation. She obviously doesn't realise that you can see her being nosy. Don't read into it that she's trying to connect. She's being a snake. Block her access to your life.

Boom.

OP your update is appalling. You actively tried to have a baby with a very troubled drug addict you’d known for weeks?
It does sound like you enjoy a bit of drama yourself. This was not a positive episode in your life and you should not be looking to stir things up. Focus on something else. Forget them.

Not nasty, all this drama could easily be brought to a close if the OP came off social media or at least made her account private.

I can’t understand what you think you will get out of being in contact with this person- if they wanted to actually speak to you or see you in person I think they would contact you
Is this person one of the old friend circle who were in active addiction?

This makes no sense atall. Just set your profile to private and get over it. Problem literally solved.

Change your settings to private.

I would imagine insta drama is the least of your problems. Unless you use social media to connect with friends directly, step away.

Your responses come across as very immature and desperate for attention OP but then I wouldn't expect anything less from a grown adult who posts daily on instagram and doesn't seem to realise that there's a block button.

I also would not reach out. I think she’s just being nosy and even if she isn’t she was his friend not yours so her loyalty will lie with his family. And they will likely never change their minds.

Just continue to have a nice life and cherish the good memories

Honestly the way you have dealt with this is pretty out there but in saying that I would have struggled to say with a man that does drugs. You seem to be very attention seeking and quiet proud of it. I think you could solve a lot of problems by simply not having your profile public but I think you enjoy the attention though.

What a bizarre analogy.

OP, I’ve read all of your updates and getting back to your original question of should you reach out to her….

do you want to reach out to her?
if you did, what would you say?
‘hi Jane, it’s been a long time, how are you keeping?’ …
Are you interested in having a conversation or are ye just starting a conversation to get to the point of ‘why are you looking at my stories everyday?’

Personally to me, I think she’s just being nosey.
I’d block her from viewing your stories and try to forget about her.
You experienced something traumatic 3 years ago with your DP passing away. I think by seeing his friend’s face on your stories every day, keeps the wound open & isn’t letting you heal.

Have a biscuit with your judgy tea.