Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

I've been invited to night do only for work colleagues but have gone the church to watch/throw confetti with others that lives locally and wanted to see her bride.

I wouldn't do this though if I knew I'd not been invited as they didn't want me there.

It's a church. Not a private venue. Noone should be turned away from church.

The vicar at my parents church encourages people to do this. We had quite a few extra people come to our wedding service, I thought it was lovely.

She would have had an legitimate objection if they were still married at the time…

Fortunately, my DH’s ex didn’t! 😅

(see above)

That is the whole point of weddings being public - so if you have a legitimate objection you can turn up and state this at the appropriate point.

Estranged members of my family turned up at my church wedding. These were close relatives my mother had quite understandably stopped contact with many years prior. I think they’d been told date/time by a stirring family member. They literally jumped out taking photos as I walked into the church with my dad and caused immense upset to my mum. Unforgivable and deliberate. Nothing you can do in the moment but what cretins!!! Sitting quietly at the back would only have been a teeny bit better they still were there only out of spite.

All the church weddings I have been to have been people who were part of that church so loads of people would turn up and sit near the back. I wouldn’t go to the wedding of someone I didn’t know, but I would certainly go to the wedding of someone I did know to show my support for the couple.

All baptisms I have been to have been part of the church service and it would be odd for church members not to go along as it is about welcoming them into the church. If you are having your child baptised and object to members of the congregation being there then you have really missed the point of the baptism.

Who are you worried about? 😂

Yes, thank you for stating the obvious again and for hitting lower case 😁

Being serious for a moment though, I think somewhere upthread you may have mixed me up with someone who either said churches are not open to all, or who didn't think they were.

That is your choice. 😂

It doesn't change that a church is open to all.

Oh it's caps lock time is it? 🤣

YES, WE KNOW THIS.

However, I would not turn up without an invite because I wouldn't want to attend a wedding I wasn't invited to.

BUT YOU DO NOT NEED AN INVITE. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Saying that my DH had the ushers primed (as bouncers 😂) as he was told his ex girlfriend was going to come to our church wedding.

He spent a rather nervous church service with one eye on the door.

From Belfast - in my childhood it was called going to “have a wee geek” at the wedding, generally standing outside watching the bride and everyone dressed up. Sometimes the older ladies would sit at the back to geek. Remember ushers at weddings used to jokingly ask if you were a “guest or a geeker” and direct you to the front or back accordingly. Also jokingly because it was obvious who was dressed up and who wasn’t .

All christenings, a welcome of the baby into the community of God so very much public, whoever wanted.

DHs closest make relationship who is otherwise entirely normal crashes every funeral in the area. He was until recently extremely busy with work (just retired due to illness) so not that he had nothing else to do. I also know another woman who is inclined to this too.

It's not weird it's totally normal. The whole point of a christening is to welcome the child into the Christian community so of course they should be there. It's weird if the congregation isn't there.

For my first wedding some people who knew me or my mum came to see me. One neighbour met me outside with her young children who wanted to "see the bride" it was really sweet and they gave me a lucky horseshoe.

Second wedding several members of my congregation came to see us get married. They'd known me for 20 years and knew my late husband and had been at his funeral. It made it very special. It was lovely they made the effort.

But you don’t need inviting to a wedding service in church. That’s the whole point, anyone can attend. A church is open house.

Yes, we know this?

But if the bride and groom didn't invite me, or even just say 'hope you can pop along to the church', it would feel like an imposition.

Well, yes, it's great to have a full church.

I don't see the harm in going to a church service. Which is what a wedding service in church is. There is no need for an invitation to attend a church service .
It's the same when people get married or have their receptions in parks and public places the couple have to accept that there will be people there that haven't been invited.
Or course they won't be able to go to the reception afterwards unless invited.

But you don’t need inviting to a wedding service in church. That’s the whole point, anyone can attend. A church is open house.

And if you a regular church goers, rather than wanting ‘a church for the photos’, you would know lots of the congregation and community anyway.

People from my work and neighbours were in the church when I got married, I was happy to see them there. When my daughter got married in a very small country church some cyclists were going through the village and they stopped and waited to see the bride which I thought was really sweet. I think it could be passive aggressive to turn up at the church because you can if the invitation situation has been contentious though.

This is not uncommon at my village church. As others have said, the church bit isn't a private function. It's quite usual for villagers who know the couple to attend, sit at the back, and then go.

No, it is true for most, or maybe all denominations.

Certainly, Methodist, Baptist, URC, Presbyterian, and Catholic.

Not just 'back in the day' or 'working class communities' either.
I've been to two such services in the last 12 months, where members of our Church family were getting married, and many other members turned out to support them on their special day.

It's an integral part of their faith - a baptism to welcome a new soul to their faith.

That your relative is cynically exploiting those beliefs to access better schools reflects - while intending to ignore th promises they've just made - reflects poorly on them. The congregation members aren't the ones in the wrong.