Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

Are you feeling quite well? What is wrong with you!!!!

My mum and I use to drive between weddings on Saturdays to sing. Early 2000s.

As a teacher there were plenty of my young pupils and their families who came to see me marry.

Some in the church, some greeting us outside.

Really special.

I definitely wouldn’t

Yes, my SIL turned up at my child free wedding with her young child. They’d already refused the invite to the reception. One of the main reasons for no children was that we specifically did not want children making a fuss/noise in the church. If we’d allowed children they would have outnumbered the adults at our relatively small wedding.

Fortunately she didn’t bring along her small baby, but it was clear she wanted to make the point that anyone could turn up at the church 🤷🏻‍♀️

This has actually reminded me of when I was at school and we did weddings and funerals as our topic. My whole class was taken to a wedding one friday. You’d have to hope the couple were expecting the class full of 8 year olds 😂

We were also taken to 2 funerals, one class and one whole school.

A few extra people turned up to DS2s baptism, it was on a week day and they had just popped into say their prayers. They were more than welcome.

Yes. It is. A church is not a venue you can rent for your private use. It is there to serve its whole parish community.

No. I have a life 😁

A woman parish councillor turns up at every wedding at our village church. She attends the service and takes photos of the bride and groom.

On any thread on here re: not being invited to wedding or particularly if children aren’t invited someone always suggests to just turn up at the church.

From OPer, who's post I was giving my opinion on...

I'd never take a child that wasn't invited to the meal part of the ceremony to watch a relative marry?

I wouldn't want to have to explain to them that they then had to go home while everyone else went off to the after event.

What you would choose to do is your choice.

My parents married at St James’ Piccadilly in 1989 and my father always enjoyed recalling the tramp sleeping it off at the back of the church.

I can’t think of any reason to go to the wedding of someone I don’t know - surely most people have much better things to do on a Saturday afternoon!? If it was someone I did know and had been clearly not invited - well, realistically no, but I might enjoy plotting it. If it was someone I knew locally and casually and wouldn’t expect an invite to the wedding, but the ceremony was in a church and I had absolutely nothing better to do, then… sure? Nice to see a pretty dress and sing a few hymns.

There’s usually a core cohort of regulars at the church who will turn up to all weddings - just for a day out! They aren’t costing the bride and groom anything so there’s no harm in them sitting at the back.

So long as you don’t turn up and cause a scene and sit in the front row!

No decent priest/vicar would exclude a child from a church. They are quite rightly always welcome and these days, most churches have toys out for them. They are family places l, where children learn and grow and are an important part of the congregation.

The couple shouldn't have got married in a church if they didn't want others, including children, to be there.

Tbh, I think it's a bit entitled to think that people shouldn't enter a church just because you're getting married in there.
Church is for everyone and as long as it's open, anyone is entitled to enter, attend a service or sit and pray.
Some people have been attending their church for decades. And half the time, these couples weren't even regular attendees until they decided to get married there. And will never reattend once they are. Who are they to tell people they can't come in?

Well… long time ago, friend getting married in church was told that anyone may turn up. She mentioned it before, slightly worried, but nothing she could do. Rightly so, as someone decided to bring their two young children and let one play with toy cars on the stone floor. Irritating for everyone when it should have been quiet so we could hear the service, to hear the toy car and the child making a noise. I would possibly watch a wedding if I had a great desire to, but I wouldn’t be so inconsiderate to take young children who clearly got nothing out of the experience.

Well… long time ago, friend getting married in church was told that anyone may turn up. She mentioned it before, slightly worried, but nothing she could do. Rightly so, as someone decided to bring their two young children and let one play with toy cars on the stone floor. Irritating for everyone when it should have been quiet so we could hear the service, to hear the toy car and the child making a noise. I would possibly watch a wedding if I had a great desire to, but I wouldn’t be so inconsiderate to take young children who clearly got nothing out of the experience.

I did with my mum when my sister was bridesmaid for her best friend in our local village church. And my mum and sister did similar when I was bridesmaid for my childhood best friend. In both cases it had been sounded out that the bride was ok with it and we sat at the back. That's the only kind of circumstance I would.

Well, I live in just that sort of community.
And it's bloody brilliant.

It doesn't mean they don't want you there, just that they haven't actively invited you and might well be delighted you made the effort. Some people are told it's monumentally rude to invite people to the ceremony and evening but not the main reception. I don't think it is particularly but people get so hung up on it in all directions.

And I certainly didn’t think anyone was angling for an invitation to the reception when members of the church congregation came to our wedding service. It was nice to have them come along.

Yes baptisms always have non family/friends there as they are part of a normal service. I’ve never heard of this at a wedding though!

At our church if one of our congregation is getting married, various members of the church may turn up to support. They stay out of the way and will sit or stand at the back or upstairs, there’s no way they would get in the way of invited guests or expect to go to the reception etc.

At my wedding, I came out of the church and two of my mums cousins that had babysat me as a child, but I’d lost touch with after my mum died were waiting outside. They’d heard from a family member about the wedding and just wanted to see me get married. It was the most wonderful surprise. 🥰

It sounds as if you think the reception is the more important part of the day, @Shatteredallthetimelately - I think the actual ceremony is the important part.

My viewpoint is that if you marry in a church, you follow the etiquette of the church. So if it will ruin your Instagram photos, get married somewhere private.

But then I'm normal.