Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

No offence taken fellow late night MNetter.😁🙋

Yes, im not a wedding person im afraid. Mean no disrespect.

Erm that boring bit is the heart of a wedding
Then celebrate afterwards

Different times people were respectful,a Wedding wasn't akin to a stage production.
I don't remember it but I do remember neighbours coming out to see the bride and father off.and us kids there for the scramble.
70s NE Scotland.

Didn't read it 🤭
But the church bit is boring isnt it? Why inflict it upon yourself unless you have to

A whole thread and you still haven’t understood why people would want to do this?

Why on earth would you want to?

If I could I'd go to see a colleague getting married. But so few people are opting for Church weddings, so many are in Wedding venue hotels.The wedding industry is big business.

Maybe thats partly why I'm finding something so so sweet and heartwarming about @Sartre Granny and friends do the Chuppah and flowers in the synagogue.
Shes made me smile all day thinking about it ☺️

Its not just going to the florist down the road to do the flowers and paying a fortune, its a very personal touch, from some women who WANT to do something really nice and special for the next generation.

And I guess its a tradition the older ladies, did it for them when they were the young brides getting ready for married life and so the cycle goes on.

Maybe part of it is the community spirit that I sort of lack not being part of Church. I kind of wish the regular Sunday service was a bit more upbeat

When we got married (in a church) several of mine and DH colleagues turned up to see us getting married even though they were only invited to the evening do. We thought it was lovely of them, going out of their way.
Obviously going out of spite is a different kettle of fish!

They are. Although I've heard of funeral invitations, in my nearly 70 years on this planet, I've never seen one. Generally, the details are announced, sometimes in a local paper or its website, a church (if the deceased was a member or having a service there) or in one place I know, the undertakers announce the details on social media. Anyone who wants to turns up at the appointed time and usually the attendees are invited to a reception afterwards where there is an opportunity to express condolences to the bereaved.

I have, it was in my church and knew the bride and groom well but they were limited on numbers for reception. I sneaked in at back and sneaked out but was spotted and given a big hug.

I love the tradition that well-wishers can attend and it's a wonderful atmosphere, and I don't think that should change. But it's beyond inconsiderate if someone's presence is known to be unwelcome (estranged etc), but they show up anyway. My son got married recently and lots of people we and he knew came. We had tea/coffee afterwards and the invited guests went on to the wedding reception.

No. Whoever has time for that? This is mumsnet. Aren't we all busy multi-tasking mums with barely a spare second?

My mum (Northern Ireland) would do this if she wanted to see the dress and wish them well! She also has gone to see a granddaughter as a bridesmaid for the photo part but didn’t go into the church that time

I think I would have googled .

Of course it's not racist and nasty to ask.

What's a chuppa? = fine
Chuppas sound like some stupid Jewish thing, I hate them already and am unwilling to find out so don't tell me = not fine

If a funeral is in a church anyone can attend. It's a public space. No one can 'ban' you. However they can make it clear you aren't welcome - just as people can and often do for weddings and baptisms.

A friend's grandchild died this year and the baby's mum told her she wasn't welcome at the funeral (very long, very sad story). My friend could have ignored her and turned up anyway but she didn't want to cause a scene so out of love and respect for her deceased grandson she stayed away.

I’ve sat at the back of a wedding as I knew the person and was invited to the evening. I asked the person beforehand if it was ok. I was surprised that there was quite a few people at the back who weren’t dressed up and looked like they just came in from the street.

I’m so sorry to hear that. I thought funerals were open too z

Pisses me off that this only applies to weddings and baptisms, after being banned from my mother’s funeral.

Completely baffled why anyone is remotely offended by other churchgoers attending a christening. A christening is literally to welcome the child into the Church. It’s a public event.

its not meant to be just a piss up and to get money for the baby

And insta

You are right.

@Sartre I was smiling on the school run this morning thinking about your Granny doing the flowers and the chuppah for weddings.
I can totally see why doing it, making it pretty for the couple brings a ton of happiness.

Your attitude seems to be that a Church is there for your convenience and to support a social media profile, If there is no intention of showing one's face in Church again then it's totally hypocritical to have a baptism or maybe depending on the school situation locally, until school admission arrives. Attendance tends to increase from September until March where there is a demand for over subscribed schools.