Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

I wouldn’t do it, no. I don’t find weddings sufficiently interesting to want to gatecrash one. But when I was growing up,I was an occasional churchgoer with my mum and the older ladies of the congregation loved a wedding; they turned up at most of them, whether they knew the B&G or not.

Exactly a Church is much more to some in a community than a backdrop for a wedding booked by couples for their fairytale/perfect day and don't go to church in any capacity

Having read the thread with interest, I hope clergy are clear in telling prospective couples who are not churchgoers, or who are unfamiliar with religious tradition, that churches are public buildlings and that they cannot book and exclusive event in the way you can at a hotel or stately home?

It may be obvious to many of us, but having seen some of the pps on here - it clearly needs spelling out to the Insta Brigade!!

It's not an issue for most people. I wouldn't go because I'm not a church member and I'm not interested in other people's weddings.

But the issue on this thread is about the fact that churches are public buildings and are first and foremost religious buildings at the centre of a community, and it's perfectly normal/reasonable/benign/traditional for some people who are part of that church's community to attend weddings held there.

Christenings are often part of the usual service anyway.

Some people on the thread have been surprised to learn that you can't book a church exclusively like other wedding venues, and have objected to the presence of members of the normal congregation at 'their private' events.

They are mistaken!

I don't think the fact that a funeral is happening has to be advertised either, it's not like banns reading.

I've just remember at a funeral i was at recently I heard the undertaker say to the family that they couldn't stop someone attending but could stop them approaching the family. Presumably any problems and they would phone the police.

You sit at the back. On whichever side looks most empty.
Unless its a tiny church few weddings would fill a church.

I doubt many people go to random churches.

In the case of baptisms there is a good chance you will be in a specific church already.

Who has the time to go to random churches to weddings and baptisms you’ve not been invited to?

of course go to your friends’ weddings

did I misread the op? 🤔

You would have same side dilemma if you know both the bride and the groom equally well. When asked you just say “Both” and sit where directed.

Time for what?

Do you mean who makes time to share one of the biggest moments in a friend's life ?
Me. I do. It is something I would prioritise.

Who has time for that?

I've been to about 25 weddings and never seen this bride or groom's side business outside of TV. Mostly we are friends with both the couple anyway so how do you choose?

The 'Church ladies' (though one was a man in my last Church) doing the flowers for the wedding is very normal in Church communities.
A bit different if you are one of those Churches that regularly have weddings of people that are nothing to do with the Church community, but when you belong to a Church that isn't photogenic, a wedding is a big event, and the flower arrangers, on the whole LOVE to be able to use their talents. When it is the wedding of someone they have watched grow up, it makes it extra special.

Re Sunday services, there are lots of different styles of Worship. It might be worth you trying a few different Churches and see if there is one that fits withwhat you enjoy.

Agree - neighbours and acquaintances often watch weddings from the back of the church in Ireland

I might go, and stand outside to see the wedding party go in or out. But I wouldn.t enter the church. Supposing there's only room for the invitees? And would you sit on the bride or groom's side?

Some people go to church voluntarily every week of their lives you know. Not everyone finds it boring.

You said one of the sacraments was just theatre. Maybe you need to learn to back down more graciously.

At my wedding there were people who remembered me from when I was a child.

It was nice that they had made the effort to attend.

Yes, in Fife we called that a 'scoor-oot' rather than a scramble.

It’s not an entitlement to go to a church wedding. It’s a public place and you’re there to show your support and blessings to the couple. You don’t need an invite.

I have done and popped to the wedding in my lunch hour once. It was lovely. You there to witness the marriage of the two people, and to support this, and not go to some staged production.

I wouldn't turn up somewhere I wasn't wanted. But if I wasn't invited to the reception because of numbers and the bride and groom would be happy to see me and, of course, if I genuinely wanted to celebrate their marriage with them, then yes, I'd go to the church. When I was a teen, a friend of mine got married very young, her mum paid for a small wedding and invited two friends (me and another) along with 48 of her and the groom's parents' friends and family. She really wanted her friends there but couldn't invite them and didn't think she coud ask them just to come to the church, but I arranged for them all to be there to watch her actually get married, to see and throw confetti, and celebrate , she was made up.

I wouldn't go to the church if I wasn't wanted. But people have constraints on the people they can invite to a reception for all sorts of reasons, so I would be happy to use the church to celebrate a wedding with someone I like if they were happy for me to use it too.

I’ve been married for over 40 years. I am also a person of faith. Of course I know what a church ceremony MEANS. However, it’s still likely to be a production of sorts. Elaborate costumes, music, a carefully curated setting, blocking and choreography, the participants have to learn their lines. There
is even a REHEARSAL the night before. Those aspects don’t make the wedding and marriage any less sacred. Indeed, they are specifically designed to highlight and honor the event. I said “theatre” not “music hall”. I stand by my statement. And I think you really need to lighten up and save your judgement for cakes at the fete.

No because to mw an invite is just that if thry wanted everyone to turn up they would stick a notice in the paper

People's sense of entitlement these days is not really surprising