Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

Why would they never see her again?

Doesn't a Christening imply that she's being inducted into the family of that church? I don't get it/

I'm an atheist myself, but why would you have a Christening for a baby who never intends to join the church community? Weird.

Well why bother getting christened? Stupid!

My friend’s mum came to our wedding in this way. I was SO pleased. I wasn’t going to be inviting her to the whole wedding and thought it was rude to just invite people to the ceremony and not the party. She was sat at the back and was the first person I saw amongst all my husband’s friends who I barely knew. It was lovely!

For schooling purposes. Nobody else’s business besides the family.

Why were they having a christening then? Maybe the congregation were making a valid point!

It's really not- the baby is being welcomed into the church community (unless the parents are just doing it for show, in which case it's ridiculous)

It absolutely is bizarre. The child and family do not attend church. Never have, never will. Yet the congregation wanted to stick their noses into another family’s business!

We had a homeless lady at our wedding because she used to go into the church for warmth when she could. My aunts were outraged but we were quite happy for her to be there.

When a schoolfriend married almost 20 years ago my mother came to the service, as did a mutual friend's mum. My mum also came to another wedding when I was a bridesmaid. It was pretty standard when she was growing up. I might go and sit in the back but it would depend so much on the couple and the context.

I think it's completely normal in a free church/evangelical church set up for members of the congregation to turn up to the service, if they know the couple. The church usually provide cakes/refreshments afterwards for those who've just come to the service and aren't moving on to the reception, so there's an expectation that people will come along. I see this as perfectly normal. My son's best friend is getting married next year and he's told my son that he's not able to invite me and my husband to the reception, but he'd love us to come to the service if we're able. We won't as it's a long way away, but we would if it was closer!

It's not bizarre. If they are part of the congregation where the child was being christened they would have a completely reasonable expectation to be part of it given that it's so much about welcoming them to the community.

No. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
Obviously a baptism in a main service is different as there will be lots of people just coming to church. But a wedding - why? You’d have to be very odd.

Could this be about the post regarding the woman not invited to the boyfriend (of 6 months) son's wedding, despite being asked to help choose a suit.

I posted that a colleague was having a small church wedding mainly due to cost. One woman asked if we (3 of us) could come and see her get out of the car, so we could see her dess. She said yes straight away.

On the day, she stopped to chat with us, saying she was nervous, we told her she looked beautiful (she did). She told us to go in first. It was a beautiful ceremony. We stepped aside for the photographs afterwards, she hugged us all and then went off for the rest of her day. We went off the a bit of shopping, coffee and a sandwich. It was all local, It didn't feel weird at all. Home by 5. I would rate it up there in my favourite weddings.

Absolutely would not turn up with children who were not initially invited. I probably wouldn't turn up without asking, even if to sit at the back. But then I would prefer to go to the ceremony over an evening do.

I got married in a church many years ago and discovered halfway through the ceremony the back two pews were full of total strangers who’d turned up to have a nosy at the wedding party etc.
A) get a fucking life and
B) felt very intrusive

Well if you are getting married in God's house, it's really not up to you who attends, is it? If you want it to be private, hire a registry office or a hotel.

Yes, it was private. Family only. Very lowkey and they still turned up. Just really bizarre because they’d never met this child before in their lives, nor would they ever see her again!

I'm not sure where you've seen these threads anyway OP? Practically no one gets married in church now. DP sings in a church choir. Beautiful church in a smalll town. As a teenager he made £££ by singing at 6 or 7 weddings a week, now it's maybe 2 a year.

At my wedding, church friends of my mil ( we married at dh's home church) sat at the back of the church during the wedding and wished us well after the service. It is normal in that community

You're all crazy! It's fine. Loads of people came to the church that I hadn't invited and I was really pleased. Loads of work colleagues, lot's of church members. It's an open church service. Lot's took communion. It's their bloody church, not mine.

It can't be a private event in a church.

I wouldn't see what it achieves in that circumstance. Surely they're really disgruntled at not being invited to the party?

Would I personally? No - I'm not interested in people's weddings.

But a church is a public building to which anyone is welcome at any time. I think that important principle may have been lost in the modern age of Insta weddings. It definitely used to be a normal practice in villages - it was where I grew up, and was taken as a compliment to the bride. People would dress up to go and watch. They didn't have TVs or Netflix - it was a special occasion!

If you want total exclusivity and a 'invitation only' policy at your wedding, don't use a church.

Are you sure it was a private event? It would be a very unusual Christening if it was. What do you think a Christening is for?

I was once NFI to a cousins wedding. However as it was close to my house (100s of miles from bride and groom and guests) my aunt instructed me to drive guests from station to the venue. I did actually drive the relatives I liked, but turned down their requests to crash the wedding. So no, if not invited, I won't go.