Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

When i married many decades ago many neighbours, customers and acquaintance's that were not invited to the wedding came to the church. Perfectly normal behaviour.

Members of the congregation attending is normal and fine because, some protestations in this thread notwithstanding, church services aren't private. But I suspect most people would think you shouldn't go in order to confront someone, or be a dick. So random friend of the family or parishioner being there is fine, person seeking to make a point about not being invited is best avoided.

Well this is exactly what my village is like, right here right now in 2026. That’s one (of the many) reasons I love it.

I'm not that keen on going to weddings I'm invited to, let alone those I'm not!

I am an atheist and I agree. A church is not an exclusive party venue,it's a community. Church members belonging to this community would probably be delighted to see a new family joining them. What a disappointment it must be for them to realise it was just to get into a school!

You think helping people out is old fashioned? This is why so many people find parenting so stressful and complain there is no support.

No I wouldn't if I was not invited. I am at the stage though where I hope I am not invited to weddings.

I do know of weddings that were meant to be childfree and someone turning up with their kids just to see the Bride's dress, flowers etc.

Exactly. And why would you christen a baby into a religion you had no intention of bringing the child up in?

Unless I've got this wrong, it sounds like an insta opportunity?

Probably half the people at my wedding hadn’t a clue who the other half were.

We had several people turn up to our wedding that weren’t specifically invited. I thought it was lovely. We invited them to the reception afterwards.

I’m pretty sure anybody can turn up to any wedding, at least in England. It doesn’t have to be a church wedding. Allowing the public unhindered access is one of the conditions of the venue licence.

My ex came to my wedding uninvited and sat at the back of the church. I only found out when we walked back down the aisle and he stepped forward to shake my husband's hand. I didn't mind, but it was a bit odd. It could have been him but he blew it when, after 4 years together, he cheated on me, shattered my heart and destroyed my faith in men.

The point.

You.

Lol. I think your family are deluding themselves about it being a one-off activity.
That’s not how religious schools work. 😉

They’ll soon discover that if the school requires the pupil to be christened before being offered a place, regular church attendance by the immediate family will be required throughout the primary school years.

If they don’t appear to involve themselves adequately it will be obvious as their child won’t get picked for any teams, special events, fun tasks etc. and their child will get treated differently by the staff as well as the families of the other pupils. It will be relatively subtle but the kid will know!!

Practically no one gets married in church now. DP sings in a church choir. Beautiful church in a smalll town. As a teenager he made £££ by singing at 6 or 7 weddings a week, now it's maybe 2 a year.
I wonder where you are? My C of E parish (central England) has two church buildings-only 1 vicar- and we have 24 (at last count) weddings booked for next year. My friend can't get August '28 because each Saturday is already full.

They are NOT private events. That is the whole point. Marriage is a public statement of a legal, personal, and spiritual matter. They have to be public in order to be legal, so that anyone who knows of a reason they can’t be married has an opportunity to say so,

If you just want a private celebration of your love, go off and do that somewhere else, but don’t pretend it is marriage.

Because they understandably expect they will know the family from that point given the family have asked to be welcomed by the church.

Maybe they want to see who is joining their church community.

They are public events. Nothing wrong with sitting quietly at the back. I have never felt the urge myself but some people have.

Why oh why would they want to attend a service for someone they don’t know? It’s so strange

But a church is made up of its members. If you want to use the facilities of a church then you have to accept all its members.

When my daughter's reception teacher got married, a group of us with our young children, turned up at the church to wave her and her new husband off and she seemed delighted. It didn't feel weird at the time but who knows what anyone else thought. It is a public declaration the couple is making - it isn't as if they have hired the venue for exclusive use.

I have always wanted to try doing this at a royal wedding.

Sure - I've done this in the past for people I knew but didn't know well enough to expect an invitation. Just sitting quietly towards the back and don't photobomb. There were some church ladies that used to attend every wedding.

I did it first time in around 1969/70 when my Sunday school teacher got married.

A christening is a welcome to the church. It is a statement of wanting to be part of that community. Anyone in that community who takes it in that spirit is not the one being unreasonable or sticking their nose in.

Exactly. At our church, Christenings <cough> baptisms are carried out during the regular Sunday morning church service so the normal congregation is there anyway. That's the whole point of the thing - to welcome the baby into the Church family.

I got married in a beautiful church that is rarely open to the public in a popular tourist spot.

I was quite surprised when walking back up the aisle with DH to see the back pews filled with quite a few tourists! Then they all came out afterwards and were taking photos of us alongside our photographer.

It was a surprise but quite sweet really.