Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

Also in the church of Ireland. At my wedding some of my friends parents and grandparents were standing outside the church to wish us well going in. I actually thought it was lovely. It's not uncommon for this to happen in Ireland, both North and South.
Several people who were acquaintances or friends of people invited came to the church. It's actually quite a nice thing to do here.
Same with funerals. Half of the funerals I go to I've never even met the person. You go as a support for a friend who has lost a family member. It's really common in Ireland.

I had a bit of a strained relationship with my Dad's side of the family (aunts and their husbands) after he died. When my wedding came around I decided to just invite my Grandma and Dad's wife to the church and wedding breakfast as we had a good relationship and invited the aunts to the evening. Two of my aunts came to the church as they said they wanted to see me get married, they then left and came back for the evening.
I have always felt bad that I misjudged it a bit and they were more bothered than I thought but it was a invite one and invite them all kind of thing and two of them had been quite horrible.

I didn't mind at all but I think if it was a random person or someone I didn't have good relationship with, it would annoy me.

At my sisters wedding lots of people from our village were all outside the church to see her go in (school mum's etc as well), it was really lovely to see so many people so happy for her 😊

My aunt did this at mine. It was unbelievable.

I stumbled upon York Minster when Ellie Goulding was getting married. There was a security cordon, and no chance you could have got inside. I think Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie were guests.

I support the ability to just turn up at a church wedding, a freedom I will defend. I do think though that if someone has made a positive decision not to invite you, probably for a valid reason in their eyes, then you should not attend.

I did once attend a wedding when on holiday about 25 years ago, as the only way on the day I was in the city that I could visit the church. Thanked the priest after the service and walked away before I could speak to the bride and groom, who I had never met. The hymns had tunes I knew so could muddle through with them even though not in a language I had sung in before.

I wouldn't bother, while attending the church is allowed there would be no point as you still wouldn't be able to attend the meal/after event.

It would look like you've turned up in the hope of the Bride/Groom changing their minds and suddenly inviting you.

This is lovely I think.

Turning up to a wedding to which you have specifically not been invited is fucking weird, selfish and a bit scary behaviour.

obviously I am excluding congregation type situations where people turn up traditionally

I’m talking about attending someone’s wedding when you aren’t a church person and the couple didn’t invite you because they didn’t want to

Yes, they do too sometimes. But I'd think twice about popping in to a church as a voyeur if I had young dc with me. The problem is you don't know it's going to go wrong until it has.

Baptisms in our local church are usually in the Sunday main service so the whole regular congregation and all commers can attend.

As regards weddings. We didn't have an evening do for our wedding, we didn't want one. A few people we knew who didn't have reception invites came to the service. This was more than 30 years ago and couldn't think of anything worse than an evening reception disco/dance etc.

I also remember it being popular to go to stand outside the church to see the bride arrive or to go into the street if someone on your street was getting married to wave them off ( and see the style).

No.

It may have been appreciated. People used to hire someone to cry at funerals, didn't they?

Parents allowing their children to be disruptive is a totally different issue. It could equally have been official invited guests behaving like that.

My aunt's friend and her sister were quite drama-loving types and as teens used to attend weddings and funerals of people they didn't know just for the "high emotion." Apparently, they used to sob through funerals of people they had never met!

I find weddings boring so it definitely wouldn’t be on my list of hobbies.

I didn't know this, and wish you hadn't told me. The temptation to wander in and be that person who yells out when they ask if there are any objections might prove hard to resist! 🤡

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

that always happens with military dress in my experience, who doesn’t love a man in formal uniform I was hoping I’d get away with not buying dd a wedding dress and she’d wear her formal evening uniform but no, apparently women in the military don’t wear their uniform, damn!

In theory, I'd think so, but I suppose they're allowed to reserve some seats for their preferred guests so you'd have trouble getting a seat/getting inside. Or maybe an exception is made for those people for security reasons?

I went to the church service of a wedding where I was an evening guest and my mum came too. She also came to one of my best friend's church services. These are people I've known since childhood and she's known for years too, not random strangers! Could be a fun way to spend Saturday afternoons though....

I think outside is really lovely! It is completely unobtrusive and is just joyful onlooking.

I think sitting through a ceremony you were not invited to, especially with children who may disrupt proceedings, is more of an issue and needs to be considered more carefully. I went to a recent wedding where children (obviously not invitees as they and their parents were in very informal garb, children had wellies on and one was carrying a big stick he had obviously found in the park) talked through the vows. I actually didn't hear the vows - which is kind of the point of the ceremony.

Absolutely to all of this. Not a church goer at all - but a firm believer in belonging + community.

If People want a private event, they should book a private venue. Getting married in a church is getting married in a community venue!

A thought has occurred....if it's a legal equirement that weddings are public, does that mean any menber of the public has the right to rock up to a royal (or celebrity) wedding?

Plenty of people we knew came to our church wedding, you don’t need an invite to attend. The meal and evening reception was invitation only (but all guests could bring partners and kids because we aren’t mean!)