Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

At our Catholic church some of the regulars turn up if it is to be a mass. They will have often known one of the couple for a while and may help with the service and will tidy up/sort out lost items afterwards

If you get married in the Catholic Church, it’s also basically a Mass. As long as people are respectful and there is room, there is no reason to deny community members to attend.

When we got married in church there were a quite few people who turned up but they were neighbours, friends of my grandparents, parents of my school friends, other people I knew just to smile at over the years in the locale. Some were outside the house when I came out in my dress and cheered. I thought it was rather nice. They were just wishing us well. But then they were not protesting at not being invited as none of them would have thought they would be. I think it is ok for neighbours, parents of friends etc to pop in and of course the congregation, but I think it would be quite rude if you knew you must be near the cut off line for an invitation and turn up. Cousins you see less often or a collesgure from another depratment at your work, that sort of person. If you might have been invited and then go anyway it looks like a criticism of the couple.

I remember when I was about 7 going to sit at the back of my teacher's wedding in a nearby parish church, along with my mum and dad. Must've gone along the school gate jungle drums (or the early 90s telephone tree!) as there were quite a few of us, and my friend from the year above who'd had that teacher the year before was there too. I remember we had a photo of all us kids and our teacher. It was really exciting and clearly memorable!

A church I went to had a wedding as part of Sunday worship once. The couple were both older and didn't have much in the way of family so they wanted to celebrate it with their church family. They organised a lunch in the church hall after the service and invited the congregation to join them.

A bit weird of a bride to invite someone without their partner.

However the few weddings I've done the back of the church thing have been acquaintances rather than complete strangers, a friend of my sisters, a friend of my Auntie (actually I was a child when I did that), those sorts of loose acquaintances people you know but not close enough to be invited to the wedding.

Happy memories of the "pour (poor)oot"! All standing in the street to wave the bride off and get ready for the scatter! Outside any of the 4 local churches for the same. In the 60s sometimes 5 or 6 weddings a day on a Saturday if we were lucky. Supplemented my pocket money lol!

@330ml what I wouldnt have given in hindsight for someone, anyone to object!

Same rules in a registry office as in a church. Absolutely anyone can attend, if they want to.

In practice that’s only likely to happen if they have an objection.

People do not seem to understand how church works and that a church is a place of worship.

Tell her to keep her eyes on the Cross.
It is His house.

A bride is just a person and a wedding day is, in the end, just one day.

Someone turning up at the dinner and needing an extra meal is awkward, yes, but still not actually that bad. It happened to me. Traveled a long way so I really couldn’t send them packing. The hotel hosting us found space and meals, sorted. Took all of 5 minutes to figure out. Obviously I wouldn’t advocate for turning up at a wedding reception uninvited but just to point out it’s not the end of the world if someone does.

An extra few people at the wedding ceremony just shouldn’t ruin the bride’s day, that says more about her character than it does about the extra people who turned up. Chill out and focus on what’s important.

The only time I’d say it’s really unacceptable to go to a public wedding is if you know you’re particularly unwelcome or go there with the intention of causing trouble and distress. An ex partner, for example.

But, even if a bride walking down the aisle noticed them, why do you think she would be thinking that ?

Going to the Church to watch / join in the ceremony has got nothing to do with the Reception. No-one would be expecting to go to the Reception, just because they wanted to watch the couple get married.

Why would you think they would be thinking about coming to the reception? Wedding and receptions are different things. It is a bit like going to church on a Sunday and being worried that the congregation are going to all invite themselves to your house for sunday
lunch - it doesn’t happen.

Also when I walked down the aisle I only had eyes for the groom. I was delighted to see a whole crowd from the local community but I certainly didn’t notice them on the way in!

I like to think most people aren't that uptight.

Was going to comment the same..that this is very much a thing here in thr Republic of Ireland..you could see anyone in the church ..nobody minds in the slightest either usually x

In that case, it's even more bizarre that the child's family are having a Christening in a church at all!! Not sure about other churches, but in the Church of Scotland, in the case of infant baptism, the Church expects at least one parent or other close family member either to be a member of the Church or willing to become a member. During the baptismal service those appropriate adults profess their own faith and promise to give the child a Christian upbringing.

No point in having one then, if the child and the family do not attend church, never have, nor ever will!

EDITED to add. The members of the congregation make a public vow to welcome the newly baptized individual into the church family. They promise to support the parents, provide Christian teaching, and be an example of faith, hope, and love. So perfectly natural for some members of a congregation to turn up, even if the Baptism isn't carried out during the service.

Why would someone you don't actively have a feud with being there be stressful?

Maybe it's a being used to being in churches thing. I don't expect ever to recognise everyone in church, even at my own wedding. It's quite normal.

I haven't done it but very common in our area in Scotland (small-ish village community) for regular church goers and just neighbours/other people in the community to pop into the church for a fellow villager / acquaintance's weddings even if not invited, or only invited to evening reception, usually sitting at the back or upstairs out of the way - just as it's common for neighbours to come out in the street when bride leaving from home. Very common especially with the older generation and always seen as quite a nice gesture. I remember a few doing it at our wedding and it was lovely.

Yes I might if i knew them and wished them well and it was as the local church. People turned up at my wedding who weren't invited to the do. Same with funerals

Im so glad I married in a reg office where only invited and wanted guests could come.

Nope, you can have weddings during the normal service. We have one at my church in a few weeks and it is going to be brilliant. It’s not common but it is possible.

I don't think weddings are ever part of a normal service - christenings are, but weddings are separate. People from my village turned up to my (Friday) wedding because they had known my family for years. I didn't mind at all.