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AIBU?

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Original poster

Money isn't everything?

89 replies

coulditbeme2323 · 14/05/2026 13:06

Is a sentiment of the rich isn't it?

I grew up not poor - but very normally. End terrace, Dad was on the tools, Mum a receptionist, a week in a cheap Spanish resort in the summer if Dad got overtime. We were very happy - but I sense it was pay cheque to pay cheque.

My husband grew up with generational wealth, went to a school everybody in the country would know, etc etc.

His parents (who I love) and their friends always talk about how money isn't everything and if they lost it all it would be fine. I am not blaming them because they don't know any different - but it's not true is it?

Perhaps it's because I grew up working class, but I love private medical care and not having to wait a year for an op, I love a holiday where somebody comes around with frozen melon and cleans your sun glasses and you aren't rushing for a sunbed at 7am, I love not having to look at what I spend.

I get there for example is no point in being in an awful marriage and rich, or getting cancer and being rich - but even in those circumstances money helps doesn't it.

Ianbu am I?

OP posts:
Original poster
coulditbeme2323 · 14/05/2026 13:17

raisinglittlepeople12 · 14/05/2026 13:16

Money is like health, you probably don’t really think about it if it’s going well but you feel it every second when it’s going badly

Well said

OP posts:
Original poster
coulditbeme2323 · 14/05/2026 13:16

ToKittyornottoKitty · 14/05/2026 13:14

I don’t get it, you had a happy childhood without money but somehow think money is everything? If they lost their money and had a life similar to your childhood they could well be happy as you were. Your post seems a bit of a contradiction to me.

I don't think money is everything, and I don't think that you can't be happy if you grow up working class. I did and we were happy.

I remember my Mum waiting 18 months for a back operation in pain and still having to work. I now live in a world where you would be seen next week.

The point I am making is that in lots of ways it can make you happy.

OP posts:
ThatCyanCat · 14/05/2026 13:16

It's not everything, but it's a hell of a lot.

It buys a degree of happiness, but there does come a point where more money doesn't buy more happiness.

raisinglittlepeople12 · 14/05/2026 13:16

Money is like health, you probably don’t really think about it if it’s going well but you feel it every second when it’s going badly

Pinribbons · 14/05/2026 13:15

Money isn't "everything", but I think it's very hard to be happy without "enough". I also think that when people whonl have money talk about starting with "nothing" or "losing it all", they don't really mean to the extent that they don't know how to pay the rent.

My Grandad, who grew up dirt poor and became quite comfortable used to say "money can't buy happiness, but it makes being miserbale a damn sight more comfortable".

Btw, I wouldn't say your your upbringing was poor.

HoppityBun · 14/05/2026 13:15

As Woody Allen said, Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons

ToKittyornottoKitty · 14/05/2026 13:14

I don’t get it, you had a happy childhood without money but somehow think money is everything? If they lost their money and had a life similar to your childhood they could well be happy as you were. Your post seems a bit of a contradiction to me.

Original poster
coulditbeme2323 · 14/05/2026 13:14

WhereIsMyLight · 14/05/2026 13:11

You have sort of proven their point because you’ve said your parents were pay cheque to pay cheque but your childhood was happy. This is what your in-laws and their friends are saying, they think they have enough happiness in lives that they can live without money. If they really thought that, they’d give it away though wouldn’t they?

Money doesn’t buy happiness is true. Bereavement, illness, depression can still affect you regardless of how much money you have in the bank. However, it is significantly easier to deal with these things with money on the bank, when you can afford time off, afford extra support.

Look I agree to an extent, of course you can be working class and happy - my parents were living proof of that.

But I can't imagine for example my Father really wanted to be on the tools at 6am in December!

OP posts:
Crushed23 · 14/05/2026 13:13

Yeah, it’s complete virtue-signalling bollocks.

Money is very important in almost every context. I grew up middle class, have never experienced poverty, but I wouldn’t be so stupid as to think if I lost my net worth tomorrow I would be ‘absolutely fine’.

ButterYellowFlowers · 14/05/2026 13:13

No. Money isn’t EVERYTHING. Is it important? Yes. Does it provide opportunity, advantage, security, health? Yes. Does it take away grief and addiction and self loathing, cancer and abuse and loneliness? Not really.

PeoniesAreMyFavouriteFlowers · 14/05/2026 13:12

I agree op. It’s people who have never had to worry about the gas bill, the next car payment, school trips that say money isn’t everything. They have absolutely zero idea of the pressures and strains not having money brings. And it is irritating when they come with platitudes like money isn’t everything. It doesn’t buy happiness. Blah blah blah.

WhereIsMyLight · 14/05/2026 13:11

You have sort of proven their point because you’ve said your parents were pay cheque to pay cheque but your childhood was happy. This is what your in-laws and their friends are saying, they think they have enough happiness in lives that they can live without money. If they really thought that, they’d give it away though wouldn’t they?

Money doesn’t buy happiness is true. Bereavement, illness, depression can still affect you regardless of how much money you have in the bank. However, it is significantly easier to deal with these things with money on the bank, when you can afford time off, afford extra support.

Original poster
coulditbeme2323 · 14/05/2026 13:09

ThePeppyOpalScroller · 14/05/2026 13:08

Money doesn't make you happy, but it solves a lot of the problems that make you unhappy.

I agree - it does solve problems.

But I also think it can make you happy.

It can't say compensate for a sick child, a violent marriage etc, but it can buy things that make a lot of people happy.

OP posts:
ThePeppyOpalScroller · 14/05/2026 13:08

Money doesn't make you happy, but it solves a lot of the problems that make you unhappy.