to find menopausal weight management mentally exhausting and restrictive?

I entirely concur @caretoshare I'm in the same boat and it's truly shocked me.

I've been slim all my life. Always eaten healthily, taken plenty of exercise, I'm tee total, never smoked. My GP has teased me that I'm "the NHS' dream" 😀

I've hit menopause and suddenly find that 1 calorie over my normal sensible intake and I put on 3lb within an hour slight exaggeration but not much

I was on some weight loss threads a couple of years ago under this username but have had to completely give up on trying to get back to that 😀

I admit I've been silently frustrated with friends through our twenties, thirties, forties, who have complained that they can't lose weight despite trying when it was clear that they were eating/drinking too much of the wrong things, not moving their bodies enough etc. This is different. It's like all the old rules are blown out of the water, all the adult life certainties are gone. I'm eating considerably less, still eating healthily, moving more than ever before...I still can't maintain, and can very easily increase my weight.

I'm having memories come back of women in my family who are now in their seventies and eighties saying to me when I was in my twenties and they were the age I am now that they were experiencing the same thing. I recall more than one woman saying that she could starve herself and she wouldn't lose weight. I remember being sceptical at the time, but I now realise they were right and I was very wrong!

If you find the secret to getting round this, let me know (and we can bottle it and make our fortunes)

Of course gaining weight in middle age affects men. Many, many men my age (mid 50s) and older seem to have expanding belly fat. DH is unfortunately heading that way, although some is steroid induced so I cut him some slack.

IMO weight gain at any age is down to genes and lifestyle. One you can't do much about, the other requires effort and to an extent they both influence each other.

I've been on Mounjaro for two years and still can't manage on just one meal a day. I really don't know how those of you who do it are getting through without punching someone in the face. I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner without fail. The jabs have made an incredible difference to my life and I'm approaching a healthy weight for the first time ever in my mid-40s, but it's certainly slower even with the medication to lose weight at this age than it was in my yo-yo dieting teens/20s and even 30s. Hormones have a lot to answer for!

There are only so many eggs and fat free greek yoghurt a girl can eat!

Nothing stops anyone getting cancer but certain things like smoking and overeating increase the risk.

Best thing is to find a happy medium, still obviously have treats just limit them so you don't become obese.

It is hard when older, metabolism etc changes we just have to make a concerted effort. The effects of all the bad lifestyle choices we have made whilst younger catch up with us!

Yes. I was a size 12 at 18 and stayed that way barring pregnancy to mid 40s. Now 14 can be tight

I have found my tribe ! Am just wondering should I give up and accept a swim ring around my middle. I used to look at older women in pencil skirts and wonder why?? Now here I am in the elastic waist department. Very tempted to jab

There is absolutely no way l would do this. You would still look well at BMI 20, still healthy so what's the point. I was always a good size and at 5 ft 6 was happy with my weight , losing it pretty quickly after breastfeeding etc. I have put on some weight since menopause but my focus now is on being strong, flexible and having fun exercising. I do gym, weights, golf , walking and l feel great but l eat what l want. I don't drink so no calories from wine and l am gluten free but come on life is too short and it's not all about weight. My cholesterol is fine, my heart is fine and no osteoporosis so l am aiming to enjoy life and have some fun.

For me it's not just the health aspects it's the money. I wasn't intending to keep buying new clothes.

I really relate to this. I’m 43 and 5ft2. I’ve been between 8st and 8st7 from age 18 to 42. I’m now 8st13. I’m active, walk lots, lift dumbbells at home, don’t drink alcohol, hardly any UPF, etc. What can I do?!

I’m aware 8st13 might not sound high but when that’s a gain of over half a stone in 6 months, it’s worrying and I need to find a way for it not to continue.

OMG it is so depressing. I have fought really hard to lose a LOT of weight (8 stone over two years) and have got stuck just above the top end of a healthy BMI. I exercise a LOT (2-3 circuits classes a week, running at least 5k 3-4 times a week, lifting weights 2-3 times a week) although job is sedentary - I don't eat back the calories. I am back to tracking every bite again because I gain if I eat much more than 12-1300 calories a day and it isn't muscle (told myself that lie for a while, but that isn't it). It is so miserable being told I just lack discipline or need to 'lift heavy' or eat more protein and fibre - as if I am not already doing these things. If I see another woman in her 20's or buff gym bro telling me how I just have to do some simple things and have discipline I will scream.

Choices are: 1) eat semi-normally (mindful but not ALWAYS saying no) and get fatter again, or 2) Constant hypervigilance and stay slimish.

Am also wondering when all this exercise will stop feeling like such bloody hard work! Fed up with the DOMS and tiredness!

I think the point a pp made about your reproductive system using up calories must be spot on because this is so universal. I get frustrated with dh who just doesn’t get how little I now have to eat to not get fat. It’s so different to him. For the first time I actually wish I was a man.

I’m not giving up my wine at weekends or nice occasions. If that puts me at top of my bmi so be it.

Also find IF helps. No food until 11am at earliest. Then omelette. Small snack afternoon then dinner then ideally stop.

I'm 44 and experiencing the same. Same weight for years and now I have to be so careful. I'm on HRT. I have decided to try one meal a day after listening to the DOAC podcast about the benefits and learning about insulin resistance. But, it's miserable not being able to eat how I used to. I think 1,200 calories is all I need but still experimenting. Thank you for starting this thread OP, I hadn't appreciated how many women were experiencing the same.

@Gloriia I understand. Not personally that bothered though. My mum was the healthiest post-menopausal woman I'd known; perfect weight, balanced and healthy diet, exercised daily, barely drank alcohol. Didn't stop her getting cancer unfortunately.
She now spends far less time stressing about what she eats, enjoys her wine, and I would say is generally more content as a result.
I'd rather enjoy the time I have on this earth (and who knows how long or short that will be) enjoying my food and wine rather than worrying about weight gain and its potential consequences. Obviously if I got so overweight it started to impact upon me doing things then I'd review it.
I certaintly don't care what I look like as I'm past all that.

Like everyone says nothing has changed in your routine, yet the weight piles on, it’s so unfair.

I can’t do more exercise due to my M.S so I decided to try intermittent fasting. I’m also on HRT and testosterone, I noticed a little improvement with the HRT, but not enough. I also don’t drink alcohol due to my condition, it’s too toxic and also messes with my meds.

I’d gained a stone mainly around the midriff. It has slowly come off, I have lost the stone I’d put on and a little more. I find the 16/8 regime easy to follow, even when I’m on holiday. The hardest part for myself was not having breakfast straight away, I now eat it at around 11am, a light snack around 3pm and dinner at 7 ish.

I was very strict to begin with about the timings, and boy did my tummy rumble at times, then I realised that before doing this regime my stomach rarely rumbled, I’d been eating out of habit, I also recognised just how much I had little tit bits in between meals.

My nephew who has been overweight since childhood follows this regime, and he’s tried all sorts. He’s lost so much weight, he’s very organised at prepping food as he’s an HGV driver. We were chatting the other day about it, we both have overnight oats for breakfast, filled with nuts and seeds topped with fruit, it keeps you full for hours.

I can definitely vouch for it, it’s so easy to follow. I now feel in control of my weight, I’m 59, 5’ 3” and weigh 9st 3lbs, I haven’t weighed this since I was in my 30’s 🤗

I agree it's about health first and it's much more of a motivator for me - being slim is a nice side effect. I started by trying to get healthy in my early 40s: post-baby, perimenopausal and recurring infections. Low carb certainly helped with the food noise and gradually getting fitter helped massively.

I was doing the 5:2 diet, but changed to 16:8, as it put too much stress on my system and I couldn't manage it. I'm now mid-50s, I'm much fitter/more active, but do yoga/walking/weights, as I can't do high intensity. I used to track everything, but now eat much more intuitively, lots of protein and plants - but I do eat lowish/moderate carbs, dark chocolate, some wine, usually 2 meals, but add a snack if I'm hungry. I tend to go by what I can do to measure muscle and how my clothes fit. It's kind of boring but consistent no punishing regimes or starving restrictions.

Edited due to autocorrect.

I hear you, OP.
I've cut out all my favourites : pastries, biscuits, cake, chocs...and am down to one meal a day.
Since 1 March, have verrrry slowly lost 2.5kg but still have belly fat.
I refuse to spend money on buying clothes in a bigger size!

Well it's about health isn't it, not what others think.
Obesity increases the risk of loads of serious illnesses and diseases.

YES. Absolutely. I’m 5’3”. I weighed 8st4, and was a size 8, from age 18-43. I’ve always eaten healthily but without particular restrictions, and I’ve always exercised.

And then, at 43, the weight started creeping on. With hindsight, this was the start of peri - my hair started falling out too (no, not thyroid-related).

When I noticed, I took steps to reverse it - the kind of things I’d done after an indulgent Christmas, or postpartum. Nothing happened. I tried harder - counted calories, lifted weights, moved more. Nothing happened.

My weight has carried on increasing, slowly, year by year, until now, at 50, I’m 20 pounds heavier than I used to be, and struggling to do up a size 12. A solid HRT regime has made not a jot of difference. I hate that I’ve got wardrobes full of 25 years of unwearable clothes.

It’s also really disorienting. Being “a slim person who can eat what they want” was part of my identity. I didn’t take it for granted, and I knew it was just pure good luck, but I did enjoy it. Those days are long gone. Every single day I think about whether my approach should be “acceptance” or “extreme action”. I still don’t know the answer.

Another big difference for me is I really don't care how other people see me. If they see me as a bit of a fat 45 yo woman then so what? I probably cared more in my prime years, but not now.

Things do change in peri and older yes. I used to be able eat a whole packet of biscuits if busy and on the go. Never put weight on.

Now I have to watch what and the amount I eat or the pounds go on.

I eat a lot of legumes with veg etc so nutritious, tasty and filling. To cope with hunger pangs I drink squash. Quad strength summer fruits may not be nutritionally great but it fills me up and keeps any craves under control.