to find menopausal weight management mentally exhausting and restrictive?

Correct, this is absolute BS. I was among the very lucky people who could eat and drink whatever I wanted when I was young. This person has no clue what we are talking about x

I totally agree! When I was in my 20s I used to eat what I wanted and still stay size 10 at the most. I didn't properly understand how others struggled but I accepted people are different! Now I look back and think I was just lucky to have that metabolism, I certainly don't now. I just accept I'm overweight to be honest, not sure I have the energy to change it.

The few smug posts on this thread remind me so much of people I knew who had easy babies.

In the same way they used to say to me, when my child didn’t sleep until he was three, that it was all my fault and I should have just “got him into a better routine/let him self soothe”, etc., because that had worked for them, these posters suggest we simply hadn’t thought of “restricting our intake and moving more”, etc.

They just can’t accept that it’s very little to do with anything they have done, they are not morally superior, they are simply BLOODY LUCKY.

And for the rest of us, menopausal weight gain DESPITE our ongoing efforts is A REAL THING.

my weight crept up and up and three years ago I did slimming world and lost two stone. I’ve stayed at goal weight for two years now. It’s become a way of life for me to prioritise protein veg and fruit, but still eat carbs, just in moderation. I can’t tolerate alcohol, so don’t get any calories that way. I imagine I average about 1600 calories a day give or take.

According to my Garmin, I average 22,000 steps per day. I’m aware some of those steps will be general movement, but a good chunk are from actual walking. I also lift dumbbells at home 5 days per week, weigh and track every mouthful I eat on Nutracheck, don’t drink alcohol. Yet I’ve still gone from spending my whole adult life between 8st and 8st7, to now being 8st13 (gained over half a stone in 6 months, age 43).

Yep. At 40 I went from size 10/12 to a large 14. I've always worked out loads and only had takeaways x1 a week. I've never been one for chocolate or high fat foods. Suddenly, whatever I was doing stopped working and I just got really fat.

I didn't weigh myself at the time out of sheer fear, but I know now that I was around 12 stone, at 5'2". That is with healthy eating and exercise.

Now, so around ten years later, the only thing which has worked for me is Orlistat. It is certainly not a lazy option as you have to eat extremely well, and I still work out loads. But NOTHING was shifting the weight, and I was just getting heavier and heavier. I tried it in 2024, and lost 3 stone over the next 1.5 years.

It's absolutely terrifying seeing that happen to your body, and all while you are looking after it! It's like aliens have arrived to take it over.

I hear you. Hunger has always undone my attempts to lose weght and maintain that loss. I have done Slimming World twice (or Children of the Quorn as I used to call it), very precise calorie counting, which meant weighing everything and keeping a record of it/, 80/20 fasting, and finally the My Fitness Pal app. The latter was the most successful and I lost 24 pounds. It was always punishingly painful levels of hunger that did for me, challenged my willpower and made me feel faint and ill. I have been dizzy with hunger and no, a glass of water made no difference, it made it hard to think straight at work and hard to do stuff round the house as I felt so limp and weak. These days I just do my best to eat heathily, no processed foods, everything homecooked, lots of veg, sadly I don't like fruit so tend not to eat it. I have a take away about 3 times a year and hardly ever eat out as it is so expensive. Fortunately I am not a snacker but that is just luck, not some superior character trait. I'm not even a drinker the way I used to be, a glass of wine about twice a week and maybe some cake at the weekend. I look at people like Victoria Beckham and wonder how they stop themselves passing out !

If you look at the Garmin stats, it’s like top 97% of users. Plus the cross training. It add up to more than 15hrs per week.

but you go girl you must be an ultra runner :)

I actually don’t. I was able to when I was 32 (I had to literally eat tons of fatty protein to not lose much), but 8 years later, it’s a completely different matter. My slice of toast and 50g of cheese + 100g of cottage cheese + a 250g steak with veggies and a banana (which is my normal diet for the most days) is not a ton by any stretch of the imagination.

Although 60 miles a week isn't unbelievably much. I do about 9 miles a day on a typical day (I'd prefer more).

You must eat a fair chunk, then (which is fine).

I’m just going to lol at you because when I marathon train I run 60mi per week and my size is the same

I honestly think just exercise more. 10k steps isn't enough.

I answered YANBU, but reading this thread has left me a bit depressed.

I agree with the scientific / medical premise that, during perimenopause, a lot of women experience a change in body shape and that shifting body fat is much harder.

However, this sounds like a daily obsession for some posters. The mental and physical exhaustion, the calorie counting, the food noise ... the attempts to get back to or maintain the BMI or clothing size you were 10-20 years ago ... is this so important that you're willing to restrict your lives so much through highly regimented eating and exercise programmes?

This is not intended as a flame post, and nor do I wish to minimise the obvious frustration on this thread. I'm certainly not above aesthetics, and am currently experiencing the frustration of donating perfectly good clothing that I still like because body shape changes means trousers and jackets don't do up, shirt buttons might pop off and hit someone in the eye, etc. I also have a storage box of the stuff I really love, 'just in case' 10-12kg magically drops off and I'm caught short of outfits.

At my heaviest, I was about 8kg over my preferred (max!) operating weight. I managed to lose about 3-4kg over six months, which I've maintained. For me, one of the key things has been some serious sprint/interval training each week, which I get in cycling classes. I've always responded well to this sort of training, so it may not be useful to others ... however I have noticed some posters, when talking about exercise, are doing a lot of steady-state cardio (walking, jogging). I've made some dietary interventions, but none have been that extreme.

And if you've read this far – I'd also suggest that everyone's exercise regimes involve mobility work and weight training, because maintaining muscle mass is one of the best gifts you can give future you. You want to be able to get up and down off the floor, and carry your own shopping, when you're 90.

I am finding it very difficult. 55 and 11.5 stone. At least a stone heavier than I was. I can’t shift it at all. I am seriously considering bingeing half a stone more to get weight loss injections. I calorie count everything from coffee to garlic. I jointed team RH. Their app is brilliant. They gave me 1600 calories a day. Didn’t lose anything. I am between 1300 and 1400 a day and still not losing anything more than a couple of ounces which goes straight back on when I have my weekly G&T on a Saturday. Utterly sole destroying.

Well I’m very jealous of you! I mean that. I just have to look at food I like and I swell up.

There is nothing more depressing and unattractive than an overt calorie counter.

I love food and I've never been more than a size 10. I mean I love food and never deprive myself. But I don't eat anything I don't want because "you're supposed to", I'm very active despite an office job and I choose good foods whenever possible. It's absolutely possible (health issues aside) to feast as much as you want if you create a healthy internal chemical balance.

I think an equal number of women will tell you that they have not gained weight on hrt. Whether or not you take it is a completely individual decision, but if you're severely restricting what you eat, you should also be aware of needing to protect your bone density. Just something to keep in mind.

I’ve not read all the posts above, but as a 53 year old woman, having been in and still am in perimenopause, I used to be a 10 till I was 40. Now I’m 14 at least and almost teo stone heavier . I ate reasonably healthy, I don’t drink unless it’s a rare social occasion. Gym /yoga/pilates many times a week. Nothing was stopping the weight gain. This year, I started weight training three times a week. Ate even more ‘healthily’. Made lots of super healthy’treats’ to have as snacks from scratch. Tried really hard for three months, and NOTHING! Not even one lb lost! But now I am looking into insulin resistance, and have changed the order of things I eat. I eat big protein/fibre meals. I DO NOT SNACK BETWEEN MEALS, I do not eat after 7pm and I don’t have any carbs for dinner ( though I do enjoy pre frozen sourdough toast with my lunch every day). And I have less urge to now because the food I eat is actually nourishing my body. No more restriction as such. And for the first time in YEARS, I’ve noticed a change. And this is going to be it for life. I’ve realised I was kidding myself about ‘the little bit of this or that’. The mentality that if ifs low calorie/low fat and small in portion, it’ll be ok, is false. Your body needs breaks between food. Constant grazing means your blood sugar is always high, no matter the calories, and that is what is not letting your body have a chance to do what it’s meant to. Sorry for long post, but I think more women need to look into insulin resistance.

It’s not nonsense as all, it’s reality for most who love food but want to stay slim.

You know EXACTLY what someone means when they say this, you're just trying to be a smart arse. Muscle that takes up a certain amount of space will weigh more than the same space-worth of fat. You know this is what they mean. You know exactly.

I do think the fluctuating hormones of perimenopause can cause hormonal/metabolic issues. I'm not an expert on thyroid issues, but I have read that sometimes the tests miss issues.

Nonsense! What a miserable way to live.