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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to find menopausal weight management mentally exhausting and restrictive?

357 replies

caretoshare · 14/05/2026 12:02

I genuinely did not understand before how much mental energy it can take. You spend years being told to “eat healthy”, “move more”, “it’s just calories in versus calories out”, and then suddenly your body seems to change the rules without informing you. You can eat what feels like practically nothing and still gain weight from one takeaway, one dessert, one slightly normal weekend. Meanwhile people around you are saying “just be in a calorie deficit” as if you have not already reduced everything enjoyable.

It is not even vanity for many women. It is the exhausting feeling that maintaining your weight now requires permanent restriction and hypervigilance. You start mentally calculating every handful of nuts, every spoon of oil, every piece of bread, because the margin for error feels tiny.

What makes it worse is how invisible it is. Menopause is discussed in terms of hot flushes and periods stopping, but less about the sheer frustration of feeling your metabolism and body composition shift while being expected to behave as though nothing has changed.

Yes I exercise and I do weight training as well.

I know weight gain is not the worst thing in the world, but the constant mental negotiation around food can become draining. Sometimes it feels like menopause means your body now demands lifelong restraint just to stay the same size.

I know it is not like this for ALL women.

OP posts:
Twoshoesnewshoes · 14/05/2026 12:35

Yes @caretoshare everything you have said is so true for me.
i did try Mounjaro, I lost half a stone (my target) in five weeks. Put it all back on over a year, I craved sugar so much after coming off.
i went back on for one month recently to try to lose half a stone again- once the nausea wore off I didn’t lose anything but have sugar cravings again
i am just despairing!

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 14/05/2026 12:34

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 14/05/2026 12:28

I am with you totally on this.

I have been a slim, fit and healthy size 12 all my life. Always exercised, running, weights, classes and eaten fairly healthily without any effort at all. If I did gain a little weight, mostly after holidays or Christmas, a few weeks cutting back and upping the workouts and it was gone.

Since turning 45, despite not changing a thing, I have just gained and gained. Going from a 12, to a small 14, then to a 14 and then struggling to get into 14's. It is soul destroying!! Doing all the things I would normally do to lose weight and NOTHING is bloody shifting it.

I feel so aware of every morsel I eat, every glass of wine I allow myself to have, every time I take a biscuit when offered one. And I suddenly feel like I can't. I can't allow myself the odd slice of cake when out having coffee with friends. I have to constantly say no because I am so scared the weight will keep climbing.

The effort it takes when its all you think about is exhausting.

I see everyone on weight loss drugs and I have been so tempted to just say 'sod it' and get some myself but I am not sure it would work. I don't have an issue with over eating, binging, eating 'bad' food, snacking constantly or having too much. I don't get 'food noise' so I'm just not sure if I am the right candidate for them. However, I admit I know little about how and why they work. But I am seriously considering giving them a go.

It is an individual decision but I did not have any issues of the sort you describe - binging etc and have also been a size 12 most of my life (with occasional blips when I needed trousers in a size 14!). However, genetics and menopause did have an impact. As long as you qualify you might want to consider it. I qualified as I was prediabetic at BMI just over 28. And, I'm certainly happy about staving off the health issues with excess weight. But, you have to do what works for you.

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 14/05/2026 12:28

I am with you totally on this.

I have been a slim, fit and healthy size 12 all my life. Always exercised, running, weights, classes and eaten fairly healthily without any effort at all. If I did gain a little weight, mostly after holidays or Christmas, a few weeks cutting back and upping the workouts and it was gone.

Since turning 45, despite not changing a thing, I have just gained and gained. Going from a 12, to a small 14, then to a 14 and then struggling to get into 14's. It is soul destroying!! Doing all the things I would normally do to lose weight and NOTHING is bloody shifting it.

I feel so aware of every morsel I eat, every glass of wine I allow myself to have, every time I take a biscuit when offered one. And I suddenly feel like I can't. I can't allow myself the odd slice of cake when out having coffee with friends. I have to constantly say no because I am so scared the weight will keep climbing.

The effort it takes when its all you think about is exhausting.

I see everyone on weight loss drugs and I have been so tempted to just say 'sod it' and get some myself but I am not sure it would work. I don't have an issue with over eating, binging, eating 'bad' food, snacking constantly or having too much. I don't get 'food noise' so I'm just not sure if I am the right candidate for them. However, I admit I know little about how and why they work. But I am seriously considering giving them a go.

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 14/05/2026 12:27

I feel your pain, sister! I did however after struggling with this for a year, and trying everything including expensive PT classes which I could ill afford, Noom, WW, when my blood sugar went up to prediabetic levels, just move to weight loss injections. I lost 10kgs at a low dose, and I'm maintaining now. My bloods came back to normal and I can get back into my entire size 12 wardrobe. I do exercise - weight training/walking/yoga - everyday, and eat generally healthy, but it is the occasional drink/dinner out that used to do the damage. I am, however, worried about going off the jabs, as I remember the pain that you are describing all too vividly! The pain to me was all the mental load - of constantly thinking about it. The best thing about the injections has been that I don't obsessively think about losing weight and what I'm eating/drinking all the time - the headspace it has cleared is actually making me more productive at work.

5dollah · 14/05/2026 12:17

I agree. It's exhausting and dispiriting. I feel so much heavier than I used to be but it's so difficult to lose weight at this age. I'm 45 and my metabolism took a nosedive about the age of 43. I'd been a 12 for years now suddenly I'm struggling even just to stay a 14.

cherryicecreamisnice · 14/05/2026 12:14

I agree. I often feel faint with hunger but my “meno apron” just gets larger. Are you talking about weight gain? It’s worth remembering that muscle weighs more than fat.

Missellie6 · 14/05/2026 12:07

I agree, I can lose a couple of pounds (assume water) but nothing after that and then even a few glasses of wine or a small piece of cake and I am back to where I started