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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask if you’d like to have your own bedroom?

153 replies

EllisIsEllis · 14/05/2026 08:07

Inspired by some comments on the bathroom thread to ask this.

Recently my DH and I moved into separate bedrooms due to his snoring, and we both love it! We feel well rested and enjoy each having our own space.

If you are in a relationship, would you want your own bedroom if you had the space?

YABU - No, I prefer to share
YANBU - Yes, I’d love to have my own room

OP posts:
WinterBlues26 · 14/05/2026 08:58

We ended up having our own rooms when he went on permanent nights and I suffered an illness that required lots of rest. It was absolute bliss and probably saved me from murdering him.

We are now officially separated but I would never sleep with a man again. My bed, his bed, holiday, just no. In fact I love hearing about separate houses and that would probably suit me even more.

ViciousCurrentBun · 14/05/2026 08:49

I would like to waft about in my own bedroom, it would have a chaise longe in it and a window seat overlooking a formal box hedge garden with a fountain as centrepiece. But I would go a raiding in to DH room often but I wouldn’t want his manliness in mine.

HoldMyWine · 14/05/2026 08:47

We have our own rooms and I love it. I sleep so well which makes such a big difference to health and wellbeing.

70snincompoop · 14/05/2026 08:47

We have a super king bed so I feel there’s plenty of space between us already. Even when the kids move out and we have two spare, I can’t imagine us not sharing a room, we’ve been doing so for 26 years and it works fine.

eiteanpiobardubh · 14/05/2026 08:46

I think, as ever, that this thread will attract people who feel strongly about the subject, and that is likely to be those who have broken away from the 'standard' of bed/room sharing. So I wouldn't read too much into the poll results, but the comments are very interesting.

I love sharing with my husband. I think the factors which make this pleasant are:

  • we fit pretty well in the bed. It's not a big bed but we are both slim so I don't get kicked in the night. If we were larger we would definitely get a king size bed.
  • we don't have sleep issues. Occasionally he snores but I just gently prod him and he rolls over and stops.
  • we have a very loving and solid relationship which means I love being close to him. I miss him whenever he's not with me.

If I ever felt any resentment towards him, or if he snored and didn't take steps to stop, or something, I can see why separate beds/rooms would be appealing.

RoseField1 · 14/05/2026 08:42

I wouldn't want to sleep separately. But I do have an office at home which is full of my crap and nobody else uses it and I do enjoy having my own space.

EllisIsEllis · 14/05/2026 08:40

I saw a stat recently which claimed only about 10% of people would prefer their own room, and it didn’t ring true based on conversations I’ve had with friends, and based on responses so far seems totally wrong!

I agree with what some have said about holidays. We have two teen DC who strongly prefer their own room, and paying for 4 bedrooms seems very extravagant!

OP posts:
PurpleCoo · 14/05/2026 08:39

Never mind own bedrooms, we have our own houses! Not married, but it's a very long term relationship and works very well, with no intention of changing things. Of course, no children together.

PeacheyPeach · 14/05/2026 08:29

I would love the arrangement that we saw the Queen and Prince Philip have in The Crown, were their bedrooms faced each other!

InterestingDuck · 14/05/2026 08:27

I've got my own bedroom and I'm very happy in my own king size bed where I can snore like an elephant and have the temperature exactly as I want it and not be disturbed by my DH wanting to watch television at night (I don't do TVs in bedrooms but he does).

Generallychill · 14/05/2026 08:27

Yes dh sleeps in the bedroom upstairs and I have a nice den downstairs. I'm a very light sleeper and prefer a floor between me and dh and the kids.

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 14/05/2026 08:24

We have our own rooms. I like the room colder, he’s too hot and loud for me. He’d be happy to share. On holiday I like to get apartments with separate sleeping spaces too, even if it’s just a sofa bed.

auserna · 14/05/2026 08:22

Jopo12 · 14/05/2026 08:11

We have. Large bedroom with a super king-size bed, a large ensuite with 2 sinks well spaced apart, and a dressing room.
We don't get on each others nerves at all 😁

🏅

Delici · 14/05/2026 08:22

we have our own rooms because I sleep terribly.

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 14/05/2026 08:21

H had major surgery 4 years ago and needed his own room/bed - never gone back.

Didn't realise how much I can't stand the sound of him breathing.

dread being on holiday and being forced to share a bed

but we still read Sunday newspapers together in bed Blush

iamfedupwiththis · 14/05/2026 08:20

Iriseee · 14/05/2026 08:15

Not just own bedroom but own house as well. Blissful. Just this morning I was lying there in my peaceful home and thinking how wonderful it was. Love my DP too though.

I have often said I would like us to have two houses, next to each other etc, for ease and taking my bins out hahaha

iamfedupwiththis · 14/05/2026 08:19

Slept separately for the last 18 years, we love it.

Still very active, before anyone asks, more so haha

HoldItAllTogether · 14/05/2026 08:19

I’d like it but separate duvets was a major improvement. Also, DH hardly snores now that he has retired and is far more well rested than when he worked.

JetFlight · 14/05/2026 08:19

I’d love it. Just so I could have windows open all night and not have complaints about noise, too cold, hayfever.
I’d have windows flung wide open, with curtains that billow with the breeze.

BoredZelda · 14/05/2026 08:18

We sleep separately which means we both sleep. It is bliss. Far from negatively affecting our relationship, it’s much stronger because both of us are very grumpy if we don’t sleep.

AstronomyDomine · 14/05/2026 08:17

Yup we have our own rooms, also hate holidays because we have to share again and it's usually me who suffers! After a few days I want to chuck him under a bus.

CheddarCheeseAndCrispSandwich · 14/05/2026 08:16

I’m not in a relationship currently, but if I was, I’d have to have my own room. I genuinely cannot stand having someone sleeping next to me…🤯

Iriseee · 14/05/2026 08:15

Not just own bedroom but own house as well. Blissful. Just this morning I was lying there in my peaceful home and thinking how wonderful it was. Love my DP too though.

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · 14/05/2026 08:15

We have our own and I hate having to share on holiday now. I always sleep rubbish.

3flyingducksarrive · 14/05/2026 08:13

We have our own rooms and I would never go back to sharing with anyone.