Is it shitty to do this instead of pay school fees?

You said you chose AIBU for a reason so obviously wanted honest opinions. I think you've been given honest opinions but they are not really the ones you wanted/hoped for? It's your choice op but personally I wouldn't deny my DC the opportunity of private schooling from the start for the sake of a bigger house which you have said you would like the status of. Instead of delaying your child's private education until Secondary school, as you are currently mortgage free you could buy a bigger house later. What a privilege you have, being able to give your daughter the same advantageous start you were given yourself ..and through an inheritance. In your shoes I would go for private education from day one. 😀

Incidentally when they tried to research into what influenced good results educationally it was very difficult to find any one thing.

The best correlation was whether the children ate with their parents.

You do know that private school students do barely any better than Comprehensive students though? Possibly 1/2 a grade at A level AND comprehensive students do better than private students at Degree level. (Incidentally Jessica Ennis went to a Comprehensive school.)

Considering this and the fact that education is not just marks at an exam I would be very happy to send my children to a Comprehensive School where they would meet youngsters from all walks of life.

I made this decision for my own children and they managed good Universities - eg Oxbridge / Russell Group and as important, invaluable' life' experience, understanding how their less fortunate fellows meet the challenges of their lives.

£150k will not go all that far in terms of school fees which continue to rise steeply every year. It might get you through primary but no further.
It also doesn't sound like a bigger house is needed, but perhaps there is something extra about it you've not explained.
What is the state school catchment like where you are now?

I’d go for the house. You aren’t actually ‘spending’ the money then - you’re investing it. Spending on private school fees at primary is a waste. State primaries are perfectly good. If you can pay for private secondary education, so much the better.

Good luck!

It’s about how she comes across not the house itself.

She wants it for status people who are chasing status become obvious to others and it’s not a great look.

Why did you decide OP's child must surely be a son?

That sounds very stupid OP.

SDLT would be £22,500, estate agents fee I suppose a minimum of £7,500. Then you've got the legal fees and removals. So you'd be paying the best part of £40,000 in moving costs for more space that you don't need.

Don't do either without stopping and thinking for a good long time. Add up what it costs to put a DC through university or college - it's more than you think.

If it were me, I'd invest it and save up to help DC with a property deposit later in life. And top up my own pension as much as possible.

Personally I'm not so excited about the possibility of private education, but I understand it's a fantastic privilege so I can see why you thought of that and that must have been a fun thought. It then sounds like you've seen a shiny bauble in this new home. This money has come your way and you've got excited. So I think you need to sit on it. It's unfortunate that everyone knows how you'd initially thought to spend the money, but you need to think it through so that you're not conflicted with your decision.

Save the money for now. We went private throughout but i might make a different decision if we were doing it now. If you have decent state primaries near you, i would go for state school because once you’ve gone private, it’s hard to go back into state school. As to the house, there’s a housing crisis and i think it would be very selfish to buy a 5-bedroom house when there are just 2 of you and you already have a 4-bedroom house. That space you want could be someone else’s desperately needed living quarters.

Lone parent here who opted for secondary private. Local primary was ok. Do you think your DC is NT? I think state primary if it’s good is good enough for NT kids but ND kids benefit hugely from
smaller class sizes and more pastoral care. And also as your child gets bigger two social spaces in your house is really useful (if they want to have friends over or play Xbox you still have a space) so I hope that is useful!

Also school fees plan, enables you to pay monthly rather than by term which helps spread costs

How much stuff do you own that a four bedroom house isn’t roomy enough for yourself and a small child?

Maybe go to Ikea and look at their storage solutions first. 😅

I think maybe speak to an independent schools advisor and do the projections on private school costs, factoring in the increases that occur each year. Certainly 150K is not going to cut it in terms of covering the school lifespan. But if you’re topping it up then great, from 4k post tax I’m assuming. It will also let you see how feasible it is to pay out of your salary alone. So for me it’s less a judgement about moving home, but more about the general affordability.

Are you for real? You’re so privileged you somehow already have a mortgage free 500k 4 bed house and after being “gifted” 150k you want to buy an even bigger house when there’s only you and one child living there anyway?! Oh how the other half live!

Wowzers - you're not selfish mate - just greedy?

In your position I'd get a mortgage for the £150k for the house and pay the school fees from the gift. You earn well so could pay down the mortgage quite quickly anyway.

Not that thinly 😆

Decisions decisions

I don’t think anyone should be going back to a mortgage if they’re mortgage free, especially when the mortgage is paid from a single income.

I wouldn’t do either straight away. I’d invest the money and start in state primary and then potentially move for year 3 once you’ve got the lie of the land of the school. £150 k is not going to see all the way through.

If you're earning £4k a month, get a mortgage and you can have both - had this not occurred to you, or is the whole thread some thinly-veiled brag?

She has the means to buy a bigger house, there’s nothing wrong with that.

Plenty of people in the country are living in big houses.

I wouldn't pay for private schooling or get the house. Put the money in a savings account for your kid for when they're older, maybe? You say you'd like the space - to do what with?

i want the status of the bigger house

Well this explains a lot.

i just can't get on board with that. Honestly op, it sounds incredibly immature.