Is it shitty to do this instead of pay school fees?

I’d buy the house and enjoy it!

I wouldn’t do private for primary anyway

I paid for 3 kids through secondary only private. That was 600k in today's money. They got discriminated against for their Oxbridge applications, so what was the point ultimately.
Here's what I'd do;
Find a house near a really good grammar school even if you have to move.
Tutor them to make sure they get in.
Tutor them if they struggle in any subject
Invest the rest.

This all depends on the local states schools - what are they like? I think the better option is to save the money for your child - either school fees if needed or a future house for them.

I'm all for private education - but £150k isn't going to be enough to pay for 13 years of it! Were you thinking of paying for the rest of it yourself? There will be uniform, clubs, music lessons (possibly) residentials, trips, maybe even lunches to pay for in addition to the fees. (Yes lunches! My grandson was having to change from his private school which was closing to another. The fees were only slightly higher, but didn't include lunch! There was no option for a packed lunch and they had to pay for it separately. It worked out at an average of £600 a term).in

if you can pick up the additional cost yourself and are prepared to do so, then private education would be the way to go in my opinion. However what would happen should you have another child in the future?

Otherwise - buy the house. I would.

The thing with status is the only people who are impressed are idiots. Even then, they are usually only impressed if you’ve made your way to the trappings of success under your own steam not because someone GAVE it to you!

Why do you want such a big house? More rooms to clean, more clutter building up over time. Far more expensive to heat and maintain. To me, that is money down the drain every week: heating rooms you never use, decorating spaces you barely spend time in. More windows, drains, roofs to repair. God forbid you need to repaint the outside walls of your home. I still dream of the numerous holidays we could have had instead.

If there are two of you in a 4 bed you have a bedroom each, a spare room and a room to convert into a home office or craft room or yoga studio/gym. More than enough space.

I wouldn't go private at primary level anyway. I'd put the money into a good ISA or trust for your DD with a plan to either take it out to use for private education at secondary level, or if you and she are happy with state education throughout, hold it to help her through uni/first home purchase etc.

IMO, private education is not in itself necessarily good use of money, But really good private education, that really fits your child's nature, is priceless. I'd rather have that than a big money pit of a house.

I don't think you're being selfish but I do think it's unwise. I would opt to pay the school fees.

One adult and a small child in a five bedroom house? Are you serious?

And this!!

For me it isn’t the size of the
home which is impirtant, it’s the location. If you’re in a high crime, awful area, then yes move, if not then don’t waste your money on a 5 bed!

I can't think of anything worse than being a single mum with a 5 (or 4) bed house to clean and maintain, but I probably wouldn't do the school fees either.

You mistake was talking about money.

I think the maths doesn’t math. On a number of levels. To sell a 500k house and buy a 650k house would cost more than the 150k windfall, so you’d be dipping into savings. 4k a month net is not a particularly high income so unless you are certain to earn significantly more in the future, you can’t afford private secondary education from income. If you are genuinely saving half your take home 4k, you are living frugally already in a house which is bigger than you need, and moving to an even bigger house, reducing your savings to do so and taking on bigger running costs is not sensible.

This

Can’t you just get a mortgage for the 150k?

150k wouldn’t cover R-Y13 around here. Do you have plans for the rest of the fees?

Is the new house in a better catchment? If you are thinking about moving I might consider it into a good catchment.

What would you use the space for? Just curious!

One of the best indicators of a child educational outcome is the level of the Mothers education. One of the longest running studies of over 70 years was run by Harvard and there was a correlation about making children do chores.

DH and I worked with ‘school end product’ as I jokingly called the students that turned up at the University I worked in for many years. We took zero notice of the schools they had attended. There is also a big move to eliminate old boys club type recruiting in the city with blind recruitment which I applaud.

I think personality is the one thing that influences outcomes far more than many consider and if people can communicate well. My friends husband has done the best out of all of us financially. He earns ridiculous amounts of money, he gets bonus that exceed your inheritance often, she is divorcing him, he has no friends and remains boring and nothing is changing that.

I think neither of your options are not well thought out and as a single parent where everything is reliant on you, what happens if you lose your job? this is a chance for an ongoing nest egg that can grow.

Up to you but you did ask, you are very privileged as it is. You don't need 3 spare bedrooms

Ultimately if the gifts was no strings you can do what you like.

Personally I wouldn’t spend it on a massive house that an entire family could otherwise live in but that’s just my ethical standards (the same reason I didn’t become an unscrupulous landlady or buy a second (holiday) home).

Who gifted you £150k? I was thinking if it was your granny to reduce inheritance tax exposure, and she took it from funds that would otherwise be inherited by your parents. And your parents are the ones saying “I’d rather your you spend it on private school” then I’d listen to your parents. Because in effect you only got that money because they are being deprived of it to save the family tax.

on the other hand if it was a lottery-win type of gift, your family’s views don’t matter

I'm not in your income bracket and only own a small home. BUT if I were in your position and IF there was a really great indy (because let's face it, private frequently doesn't mean better than state) that is 100% where I would put my money. I'd put my child's education first 100% of the time.

State primary is frequently OK or even good. State secondary is a totally different thing. Academisation is a shit show and so many secondary schools are awful. If I had a way to help my child avoid that, I would.