To find it rude that DP picks up his phone at every notification when we’re mid conversation

its rude and people do get distracted

I had a similar BF who used to chat on the phone while walking hand in hand with me, which I didn't like. Similar to you, I felt a bit of a spare part!

Should've seen the signs. After I accepted his proposal, he was on the phone to a mate within five minutes.

And later he used to go from hyper sociable to silent as he closed the door to dinner guests at the end of an evening.

I eventually got the message that I wasn't important to him.

Dump the guy.
It is easy to say NO to a lump of electronics and plastic if DP finds you important.

Manufacturers make phones and programs addictive.

I will not have a conversation with anyone who prioritises a phone over me.

No phones near dining table.
No phones in bedroom.
No phones played with in the car while another person is company.

Always politely excuse oneself before making a phone call or taking a message, if it is an emergency.

I have zero respect for people who disrespect me in favour of a non present person/comment on the screen of a a phone.

Never met his mum as well? And he’s a partner not a boyfriend? You’re a placeholder.

Of my DH had been anything like this we wouldn't be happily married...More to life than being glued to a phone

this happened to me, with a newish man, in bed early evening, his landline phone rang next to the bed which was offputting enough, but he answered it! well into a conversation about work, I guess he thought I had climbed off to use the bathroom, until he heard the front door click
he phoned repeatedly but I was having none of it

Of course he's rude but this has become a way of life for far too many people. They're basically addicted to their phones. Maybe it gives them a sense of importance, maybe they're afraid of missing out. Who knows. But either way, their brains have become hard wired to react. And it's only going to get worse with future generations who have been weaned on electronic devices.

I'd bet he would feel similarly put out if you were to start checking texts etc while he was giving all his best moves in bed.

Checking texts during a conversation with someone is no different from interrupting- rude and signifies that they consider what you're saying as unimportant.

Start getting your book out and see how he likes it. It’s so rude!

If his mum calls when you are there, can't it be a joint call? My partner's parents video call when I am there, but it's very much a planned regular thing, where they call at the same time and both of them talk to both of us for a catch up. It's rude and weird to exclude you if you are his partner

its always general chit chat, nothing important so he’ll be at my house chatting away to her in my garden while I sit there on my own like a lemon @dinnerdateeee

When he does this, don't sit and wait for him. Start getting busy with something else which then keeps you occupied for a while after he has finished the call.

Don't wait for him. Let him wait for you if he is rude with long phone calls.

Also, tell him to switch off the phone during meals. He is not a doctor on call!

You are at the bottom of his priorities.

If you don’t dump him (I think you should) then stand up for yourself by leaving the room when he checks messages and when he comes to your home and takes a chit chat call, open the front door and tell him to leave.

Pp said that men should add to our lives, not vex us- great post- but is there a default for us where we feel we just have to put up with this vexatious behaviour? I say we as in women, I (like to think I) have moved on from it but it’s a familiar sensation.

what happened to my post?

should read - he doesn’t want to be having anyway?

It is exceptionally rude. If I’m talking to people I never pull my phone out at all, ditto if I’m socialising generally unless it’s relevant to show them something, get maps up etc.

its a displacement
why are you enabling his ignorant behaviour by waiting for him to come back to the conversation/s he soesn

Dump him as he is saying he won’t change.

Incredibly rude. Is he 12? As soon as it happened I'd be off and doing something else and refuse to engage again. Who does that? Is he desperate for attention generally with fomo?

No, that's incredibly rude. If I am with my partner, I don't look at or respond to messages/calls, indeed I don't use my phone unless it's in relation to something we are talking about/planning. Occasionally I might be expecting an important message and I explain when I/he arrives that I might have to pick up a message and explain why in advance so it's not rude.

The only exception is when we are on holiday together as then we are together 24/7 for an extended period of time, so we can't be expected to not touch our phone for 2 weeks!

I just think it's respectful to not use phones when in company.

During a make or break conversation he made it very clear he's not interested in the make part of it.

He is addicted to his phone and consequently is rude to people. You highlighted this by stopping talking, that’s why he had a go at you

I’m sorry but this man has no respect for you. I am not sure he even likes you.

Are you happy?