If a thread starts with...

Text speak or numerous grammatical/spelling errors. I just assume they're thick and the author of whatever misfortune they've come to protest about.

Yes 👏

If he’s a shit person in the first two lines and in the last line op asks if she’s unreasonable then I don’t read in between. I scroll on. More than likely Op will stay with him, say he’s a wonderful superstar and dad, everyone will waste their time telling her he’s shit and she will disappear.

Long thread with no "see next" indicating OP hasn't bothered to come back. Waste of time. You're only on page 2 so you're getting away with it for now OP!

I know it shouldn't but too much "should of/would of/could of" annoys me into stopping reading.

Hear me out…

Well you are not talking, so that makes no sense.

That phrase gives me an irrational rage, so chances are, I will move on.

I have autism/ADHD.....

What would you do if.....

Anything overly sexual and graphic....clearly perv bait

Anyone talking about their sexual preferences and/or "toys"

Men suck and I hate them and I married one but like other men but hate them all....what about you

Actually most things. Wonder why I'm here most days.

I like pets and style and beauty.

'How much do you save each month?'

How is this in any way helpful to the OPs situation? They don't have the same house, wages or expenditure as anyone else on the thread. It's literally a figure or 'nothing'

Also it's a beacon to the types who post 'At least £3.5k into my SIPP or I won't achieve my £1mil target. I don't know how anyone rests if it's any less" which must make some people who are trying hard and saving what they can feel like shit.

Lack of paragraph breaks

Dv if it has a lot of replies as I just don’t think I can help

OPs who don’t take on board any of the responses but just restate the issue.

Eg OP “MIL is a witch. She did this”
Posters: “boundaries/you have a DH problem”
OP: “and she did this”
repeat repeat repeat

Also posters who have already decided not to do the thing most people are going to advise eg “DH is an abusive cocklodger with three girlfriends but don’t tell me to LTB”

Belt in, it’s going to be a long one.

This.

So many.

Many already mentioned.

An obvious reddit post is a big minus for me.
An obvious journo
An obvious pervert

An interesting title but tedious thread

An op with a strict criteria. Eg a TV thread with "no spoilers" or "no negative comments" (which i get) but other "rules" imposed by the op which i don't want to follow

It's pretty irritating when people post AIBU and then put AIBU in the title. Or cut the title off, eg "For being upset my friend said...".

ETA I've just realised you've done pretty much that. Just give it a sensible title, stop baiting people to read on.

What do we think?

I know what I think, I have no idea what we think.

"When my mum dies her estate will be worth £X, split between my two sisters and me..."

She's not dead yet!

"Do you think I earn enough?"

Enough for WHAT

Honestly your life doesn’t have to be interesting to start a thread. A lot of threads are made up by trolls, and I think a lot are also just faked to get clicks.

Most of what puts me off a thread has already been said though - excessive acronyms being a big one. I’m also generally not a fan of long and waffly posts.

There’s a poster who starts the most pointless threads that often run into several pages who pops up a lot with stuff like “what did your house not have when you were a kid I’ll say a thing then you say if you had it or not and say another thing”. Like someone gave a 7 year old a Mumsnet account. Urgh.

If there is pages of responses and the OP hasn't responded.

I know people have lives, are busy etc., but it's always a post that is going to get a lot of traction due to the subject matter, and there is no response.

It's never the OP'S fault obviously, but when first, second or third reply thinks our memory span is so short, we need reminding of the OP, so helpfully copy & paste the gigantic paragraph..

Then add 'LTB' or something just as inane.

Hubby - Immediately exit the thread.

I find anyone who refers to their husband as “hubby” incredibly nauseating.

It’s even worse when they’re talking about their boyfriend ‘(42M)’.

Yes we know he’s male you fucknugget, you’ve just told us he’s your boyfriend 🙄

Anything about a terminal illness, tbh, or any other subject that feels too depressing and hopeless, like a woman who is clearly in an abusive relationship but won't accept it or even consider leaving.

Anything about a teenage or adult child who is terrorising his or her family. Enraging and futile to engage, usually.

Also any 'philosophical' or 'thought experiment' thread that's written by someone who obviously has a very high opinion of their own intelligence and wants to guide the discussion like a respected professor. 🙄

There's one poster who always starts some unbelievably tedious thread based on subjects/threads she's seen or is always seeing on here and then expects a fulsome discussion on the matter which is as boring as fuck and why would anyone? Immediate hide
As above also: baby daddy, hey mummas, anything with loose when they mean lose, any could of, should of, would of. Quite a lot actually.

My baby daddy.
Any mention in the OP of someone living in another state.
And as others have said...
Text speak.
Friends A,B,C.
Really long opening message.

There's more i can't remember off the top of my head!