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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not have the school home visit?

63 replies

Discoballsfordays · 13/05/2026 17:48

Youngest DC starts reception in September, he's already attending the school nursery. There is a stay and play session upcoming to meet the teacher and you are invited to book a slot for the (optional) home visit whilst there.

I'm choosing not to have one, primarily because my eldest with ASD and ADHD (who goes to a different school) gets disregulated when unknown people are in the house. The duration of the time spent would be dominated by me having to manage him.

DH thinks it might look "dodgy" refusing it, as though we have something to hide - we don't.

WIBU not to? Has anybody else opted out and did it raise any eyebrows?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 13/05/2026 18:05

The home visit is handy to meet the teacher on a 1-1 basis and talk about important things in private (such as the needs of his brother so school are aware)

Generally they are during the school day though so can you not book it for when he is not there? For your youngests sake I would try to make it happen.

RainStrops · 13/05/2026 18:03

Isn’t this a chance for your child to meet their new teacher? Should they miss out?

Teenagerantruns · 13/05/2026 18:03

Just say no, honestly the teachers wont care. They will be happy with one less pointless home vist.

Avoidtheloo · 13/05/2026 18:01

So your younger boy will never get to have friends over?

Fishingboatbobbingnight · 13/05/2026 18:00

Are you never going to have visitors to your home for fear of upsetting DS ? Our DS (now 26) is AuADHD .. at a specialist school and their advice was to ‘be normal’ . If you adapt your life to his - in order to keep the peace .. he will never adapt to the real world. He cannot go through life entirely having normal family life and things like teacher visits - avoided for his comfort. It’s painful in the short term, but well worth it in the long term. Our son is now working in a social environment, 20 hours a week and has been with his employers for 7 years .. don’t wrap in cotton wool is my advice . Of course you have to adapt to make him feel secure but he also needs to know there is a real world out there which you can gently guide him into..

StarryLo · 13/05/2026 17:55

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 13/05/2026 17:53

Does eldest go to the same school?

It literally says in the post 🤦‍♀️

Overthebow · 13/05/2026 17:54

Explain the situation to the school, you may get invited. Instead. I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to speak to DCs new teacher one on one though.

Avoidtheloo · 13/05/2026 17:53

Why can’t your dh take out eldest son?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 13/05/2026 17:53

Does eldest go to the same school?

Avoidtheloo · 13/05/2026 17:53

Explain why you’d rather not
Don’t just say “nah, don’t want you over”

kscarpetta · 13/05/2026 17:53

No one will care if you don't have the optional visit. The teacher will be pleased to have one less to do.

AuContrairePubicHair · 13/05/2026 17:52

Can't you just book it for when your oldest is at school (these visits are nearly always done during school hours anyway)? If not, then I'm sure if you explain they will be very understanding of the situation.

PennySweeet · 13/05/2026 17:51

Why doesn't your DH look after the eldest and take him out somewhere?

Having said that, wouldn't the home visit be during school hours anyway?