To not have the school home visit?

It's weird that you'd describe checking that a child has safe living conditions as "snooping on families."

Teachers don't care if you haven't hoovered or there's washing up needs doing. They probably would note if there wasn't proper flooring, and no furniture, or other children inadequately cared for, because it's important that they understand a child might have a difficult and complex home life.

I agree the OP isn't worried about their elder child. The visits happen in school hours.

What a spiteful post. Maybe the oldest is home educated as didn’t cope at school? Who knows? No need to be nasty.

This is for your dc. Why should they miss out on a chance to familiarise their new teacher because of their older sibling? As others have said, if your older dc is not at school could your dh not take him out for a bit?

Interesting that it’s optional, it’s mandatory here (at least I was never given a choice!). I’m certain it’s to snoop on families and get a picture of how they live, if the house is messy, seems chaotic etc. There just wasn’t any real reason for it away from this, we’d already attended stay and play and they also went in for a day by themselves prior to the home visit.

We declined it, we didn’t give a reason - the reason was though we both worked full time and she was in nursery full time too. They didn’t care , and we didn’t hear anything more about it .

Most schools don’t do hone visits anymore anyway!
Just tell them why, and if they object you know you have a crap school on your hands…. Anyone with a minimal understanding of ASD/ADHD knows that it isn’t as easy as “ask husband to take child out”.
My youngest never had friends over for the same reason (we meet up at the park etc), he’s popular, well adjusted, loads of friends. That’s just how life with an asd sibling is at times!
They’ll already meet the teacher, so no real reason to - maybe tge teacher is ok with a 5 min chat after the meet the teacher?

It’s bizarre….I understand when they have to do it for address verification but really what a waste of time for everybody

Not everywhere. SIL had home visits for both DNs in Sheffield, but we didn’t in Liverpool.

The school won't care and there'll be no official reprocussions or anything.

My youngest found the teacher coming to meet him at home quite helpful in terms of settling in, so Im pleased that I stamped down my insecurities about being judged and let the visit go ahead.

Separately, is the school aware that your younger son has a disabled older brother? That might be something worth sharing with them.

I was also very confused as I've never heard of this either 😂 glad it's just not a thing here! Can't see why I'd want the teacher randomly coming to my house though.

Why would a teacher need to visit your home? That’s a bonkers idea. I’m all for the children visiting the school before they join. Who thought up this plan.
I would definitely refuse this.

Yes of course!

OP? Will you now tell us the real reason you don’t want the teacher over? House a chaotic mess?

Eldest will presumably be at school so won’t know. Even if he does know, youngest is allowed to have a life which includes having people over.

Wouldn’t he be at school?

It’s not really about whether it looks bad, and more about whether youngest should miss out because of eldests additional needs. You’re going to face this a lot.

2 parents, 2 kids, divide and conquer.

I did, because I was ready to rage at our shitehole of a school leaving out yet another thing everyone else does but on this occasion they’ve been normal

still hate them though 😂

Did you really text round your friends because of something you read on mumsnet?? 😂

don’t think it’s a thing in Scotland, mine never had it and quick text of friends confirms not just me out in the cold 😅

Meet the child, give the parents a chance to talk. Yes it's been a thing for at least 15 years, probably longer.

Why are they visiting? Is this a thing?

It’s fine. It’s optional. But I think it’s also fine to say what you’ve said here. Because you have other children in the house with SEN and can’t do both at the same time, can you book to meet the teacher at school while Dh is home with other dc?

Having carried out home visits I would say try to accommodate one. It is an opportunity for you to discuss any concerns, disclose any and enables both you and your child to build a relationship with the staff. I remember one reluctant child being surprised that I been to visit him and it certainly helped him to settle.
I also wrote letters to them all and that also helped them to feel included and more importantly safe.

Was just going to say this. I was a school welfare officer for a while and often went on these visits with teachers to make up the numbers (visited in pairs). We never thought anyone was dodgy, we just thought, Phew. Especially when the child was already at the school nursery.

Honestly, they are bullshit & extra work
just say no !