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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have screamed at my kids

32 replies

losinitnow · 13/05/2026 17:23

As I’m trying to cook dinner one decides to empty both toy boxes onto the floor. I then discover an ant infestation from an abandoned lunch box. Younger one then tries to drag me from the kitchen when I’m dealing with boiling water so I nearly scald my arm and then lose it with everyone. DH then complains I disturbed his meeting. Fml.

OP posts:
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Getmeacoffeenow · 14/05/2026 10:28

My response wasn’t very thoughtful sorry.

OP asked if she was BU for screaming at her kids, the answer is yes, it’s always unreasonable to scream at kids unless they’re about to get run over. BUT it happens, I’ve done it myself. It’s ok as long as we learn from it and it’s rare and we apologise to them.

In my opinion, toy boxes being tipped out is normal. Lunch boxes having ants in, isn’t the kids fault, it’s whichever adult left it there long enough. Kids shouldn’t be pulling OP when she’s handling boiling water, that would get a stern go away NOW from me maybe even a loud screech if they didn’t. It’s better to get screamed at then scalded.
DH will just have to get over it unless it’s a regular occurrence.

Bridgertonisbest · 14/05/2026 09:42

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 14/05/2026 09:22

Boiling vegetables?! How could you?!

I only steam them in dew i've collected fresh that morning.

I'm sure DH will be more understanding when he's out of the moment of being embarrassed, and if he's still prickly he needs it pointing out that he's working from your home. You're not parenting in his office.

But if he thinks home life is so incompatible with him working that you have to leave your house every time he's working then he should go to the office.

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You use dew? I serve my vegetables lightly dressed with my own tears!

of which there are many as we have three boys 😳😂

Bridgertonisbest · 14/05/2026 09:41

Getmeacoffeenow · 13/05/2026 17:35

Then lunchboxes are still your responsibility.

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If you don’t have anything helpful to say just go away!

Lunchboxes may be an adult’s responsibility but they’re not “hers”. Regardless finding ants in them is fucking frustrating.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 14/05/2026 09:22

losinitnow · 13/05/2026 17:46

I was cooking vegetables 😭 does that save me a bit

what a shitty evening. Feel horrible now.

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Boiling vegetables?! How could you?!

I only steam them in dew i've collected fresh that morning.

I'm sure DH will be more understanding when he's out of the moment of being embarrassed, and if he's still prickly he needs it pointing out that he's working from your home. You're not parenting in his office.

But if he thinks home life is so incompatible with him working that you have to leave your house every time he's working then he should go to the office.

takealettermsjones · 14/05/2026 09:15

I feel you OP!! My eldest gets rewards for shepherding her younger siblings out of the way when I'm cooking, but if she's not around or it's not working then my go-to tactics are either bundling them outside to play on the trampoline or... screen time. Sorry not sorry!

Also for DH - "we're not living in your office, you're working in our home."

Eenameenadeeka · 14/05/2026 09:06

Sounds like just one of those days, happens to us all at times. I can see why it wouldn't be good having yelling in the background of a meeting, but I also think trying to keep young children occupied and quiet while someone works from home would be a nightmare. Thank goodness no one was burnt by the water so no real harm done.

SillyQuail · 14/05/2026 06:43

Unless someone burst into his office and he was just annoyed by the noise, your DH is unreasonable for complaining. If he works from home he has to accept that with young children in the house it's going to be noisy sometimes. That said I don't think it's ok to scream at little kids for things like emptying toyboxes or trying to get your attention. You can be firm about telling them you're busy doing something else right now and will come when you're done, but screaming sounds like an overreaction. That said, it happens sometimes and your DH shouldn't make you responsible for his working conditions, that would stress me out too.

SunMoonandChocolate · 14/05/2026 03:29

losinitnow · 13/05/2026 17:34

It didn’t. No mention of maggots in my Op.

No one normally has a lunchbox. Ds was on a school trip yesterday and left it out. Since it’s not part of the normal routine I didn’t pick it up. Fml x 2.

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Apologies OP, I don't know where on earth I got maggots from, must have been a senior moment. 😂

JLou08 · 13/05/2026 18:11

Tell your H to go to the office. It's unrealistic and unfair to expect a quiet home when young children are there. It's just going to add to your stress and everyone else's to try and be quiet at home.

Original poster
losinitnow · 13/05/2026 18:02

Thanks, I do appreciate the kindness.

@WhatNoRaisins i do actually think DH wfh really impacted on my parenting for the first two or so years (post covid took a while for things to get back to ‘normal.’) I’ve been out all day today but you can’t be out all day and my ds is so fucking LOUD.

OP posts:
MrsLFii · 13/05/2026 17:56

Sometimes these things happen. Not ideal of course but no one’s perfect.

PennySweeet · 13/05/2026 17:55

Getmeacoffeenow · 13/05/2026 17:35

Then lunchboxes are still your responsibility.

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No shit?

There you go OP - something you didn't know 😉

HalfColdCoffee · 13/05/2026 17:51

SunMoonandChocolate · 13/05/2026 17:33

How come a lunch box had been left long enough to get maggots in it OP? Don't you ask everyone for dirty lunchboxes when they come home at night?

Ffs 🙄

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 13/05/2026 17:48

It happens. Do you have alcohol and something nice to watch later?

Original poster
losinitnow · 13/05/2026 17:46

Error404FucksNotFound · 13/05/2026 17:37

Yeah, fuck everything ele, let's focus on the lunchbox.
Give me 5 minutes and I'll work out how best to kick you for boiling some water with your kids around.

I was cooking vegetables 😭 does that save me a bit

what a shitty evening. Feel horrible now.

OP posts:
GinWizard · 13/05/2026 17:41

SunMoonandChocolate · 13/05/2026 17:33

How come a lunch box had been left long enough to get maggots in it OP? Don't you ask everyone for dirty lunchboxes when they come home at night?

This is such a great example of the shocking level of reading comprehension on Mumsnet. Ants have become maggots and we're not even on page 2 yet.

WhatNoRaisins · 13/05/2026 17:38

I think when you're WFH with young kids in the house you either need a soundproof office or realistic expectations. My DH has got a virtually soundproof office and he's still been disturbed when shit hit the fan downstairs.

Zippidydoodah · 13/05/2026 17:37

Why the hard time about lunchboxes, ffs? The woman is just having a rant. Sometimes shit happens but it’s ok to want to get it off your chest!

hopefully everyone is calm now, op!

Error404FucksNotFound · 13/05/2026 17:37

Yeah, fuck everything ele, let's focus on the lunchbox.
Give me 5 minutes and I'll work out how best to kick you for boiling some water with your kids around.

Original poster
losinitnow · 13/05/2026 17:35

Getmeacoffeenow · 13/05/2026 17:35

Then lunchboxes are still your responsibility.

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Obviously.

OP posts:
Getmeacoffeenow · 13/05/2026 17:35

losinitnow · 13/05/2026 17:31

5 and 3.

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Then lunchboxes are still your responsibility.

CieloElmers · 13/05/2026 17:35

SunMoonandChocolate · 13/05/2026 17:33

How come a lunch box had been left long enough to get maggots in it OP? Don't you ask everyone for dirty lunchboxes when they come home at night?

Where did she say maggots? She said Ants, sometimes shit happens and things are forgotten. 🙄

Don’t beat yourself up OP, sometimes days are chaotic! Maybe apologise to kids for shouting x

Original poster
losinitnow · 13/05/2026 17:34

SunMoonandChocolate · 13/05/2026 17:33

How come a lunch box had been left long enough to get maggots in it OP? Don't you ask everyone for dirty lunchboxes when they come home at night?

It didn’t. No mention of maggots in my Op.

No one normally has a lunchbox. Ds was on a school trip yesterday and left it out. Since it’s not part of the normal routine I didn’t pick it up. Fml x 2.

OP posts:
SunMoonandChocolate · 13/05/2026 17:33

How come a lunch box had been left long enough to get maggots in it OP? Don't you ask everyone for dirty lunchboxes when they come home at night?

Original poster
losinitnow · 13/05/2026 17:31

Getmeacoffeenow · 13/05/2026 17:31

How old are they?

5 and 3.

OP posts:
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