To have a weekday wedding?

TheLadyOfWinterfell · 2026-05-13T09:06:55+00:00

We haven’t decided anything yet, so just looking for opinions really. Budget is a big concern, I don’t want to spend a lot as it’s not a huge priority for me, so it’s really whether we have a simpler celebration at a ‘nicer’ venue, or a more traditional wedding at a not so nice venue. The full on ‘wedding’ would still cost more, but maybe it would be worth it! Things that are relevant: - It would be during the school holidays as DP is a teacher, so children wouldn’t need the day off school. - Lots of our friends are teachers, so they would be off work too and wouldn’t need to take annual leave. - Quite a few of our immediate family members or close friends (including my dad and DP’s mum) work weekends, so would most likely still need to take annual leave if we had it on a Saturday. So it’s not a case of all guests who aren’t teachers would find it easier on a Saturday. - If we did something on a weekday then we probably wouldn’t have an evening do. It would be a ceremony, followed by something like a champagne afternoon tea. Any thoughts, given the circumstances? I also don’t know which day of the week would be best for people, really, as we also have guests we’d invite who work part time anyway.

Aligirlbear · 11/06/2026 18:54

You do your wedding your way but accept that what ever day you decide on (even at Saturday) some of your intended guests won’t be able to make it. They might be on holiday, too far to travel , can’t / don’t want to have to take annual leave. Don’t over think it , the day is about you and your partner and what works for you.

user1492757084 · 11/06/2026 10:58

I'd go for Monday at the start of School Holidays.

I'd have a mid afternoon ceremony and cater for an early evening meal. Then local worker guests can ask for an afternoon off.

You do have the type of family which would suit a weekday wedding. That is unusual.

TheSoapyFrog · 14/05/2026 12:55

If people don't seem enthused, ignore them! Don't change what you want to do! I know I said I wasn't a fan of afternoon teas, but if I was invited to a wedding and there was an afternoon tea, the bride and groom certainly wouldn't ever know I was disappointed. I'd tell them it was lovely and I really enjoyed it.

Changingplace · 14/05/2026 08:32

DappledThings · 14/05/2026 07:24

Don't worry OP. There was a long thread here earlier this year where the OP mentioned an afternoon tea for her wedding and despite listing in full the varied sweet and savoury and vegetarian etc options it would include there were still posters falling over themselves to completely ignore it and announce that afternoon tea is a terrible idea and everyone hates it because there are only a handful of tiny cakes and everyone knows that.

For some reason the words afternoon tea seem to trigger some people!

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Agreed, I have no idea why people are so insistent that afternoon tea isn’t possibly substantial and a buffet is, when it’s literally just how it’s labelled and afternoon tea can include all kinds of savoury items and isn’t always just a fairy cake and a cucumber sandwich 😂

People seem completely unable to understand that the menu for an afternoon tea can totally be adapted too and it more describes the way it’s served than exactly what’s on the menu.

AltitudeCheck · 14/05/2026 08:26

Sounds lovely. Hotels are often much cheaper on a Sunday night which may make travelling for a Monday wedding easier for guests. If you're planning an afternoon do eople are free to stay sober and drive home Monday evening to minimise the days off.

SusanChurchouse · 14/05/2026 07:37

It sounds like it might work well in your specific set of circumstances. And you seem to be considering your guests’ needs quite keenly which is nice to read.

The only 2 weddings I’ve ever had to decline have been on a Thursday and a Sunday. For both I was working as a teacher. I couldn’t get time off for the Thursday one, and the Sunday one was a distance away and I was working next day. She was also a teacher but she worked in a different area with different holidays.

Original poster

TheLadyOfWinterfell · 14/05/2026 07:25

Moonnstarz · 14/05/2026 07:18

I think this sounds lovely.

I think the only thing you might need to be aware of is you mention other friends being teachers, so doing it in any school holiday means they might not be around and if a good holiday deal came up they would go for that rather than your wedding.
Same with any guests with school aged children, they are likely to prioritise holidays over your wedding.

That is an excellent point about teachers potentially being away as it’s the only time they can go, thank you! We are hoping to get it booked asap, so hopefully that will be enough notice. Most of the teachers are quite close friends or family, so we’ve already floated rough dates with them.

OP posts:

DappledThings · 14/05/2026 07:24

TheLadyOfWinterfell · 14/05/2026 07:19

If you’d have said you’d expect a sit down meal then I’d think that was fair enough and would taken it on board. It was the ‘mini scone’ comment I found unnecessary when I’d made it clear that volume wise there would be a decent amount of food, even if it’s not to everyone’s taste. It would be much easier if I shared the menu for the afternoon tea, but I’d rather not share what the venue is in case people start sharing other suggestions with me and complicating things!

I think it’s partly my fault as I said in my opening post about budget. I don’t want to spend a lot, which is why I am considering an informal day time thing, but this is not a cheap venue! If when I speak to people in person they don’t seem enthused then we will do a standard all day affair with a sit down meal and a DJ in the evening etc but it won’t be at this place.

Show quote history

Don't worry OP. There was a long thread here earlier this year where the OP mentioned an afternoon tea for her wedding and despite listing in full the varied sweet and savoury and vegetarian etc options it would include there were still posters falling over themselves to completely ignore it and announce that afternoon tea is a terrible idea and everyone hates it because there are only a handful of tiny cakes and everyone knows that.

For some reason the words afternoon tea seem to trigger some people!

Original poster

TheLadyOfWinterfell · 14/05/2026 07:19

PJ98 · 14/05/2026 07:04

An afternoon tea is not a substantial meal. I've had some afternoon teas where I've not finished it, but more that I'm sick of cake by the end of it. The savoury part is only a few sandwiches.

I'd go for the buffet, but even then I'd personally expect a sit down meal at a wedding, especially if I've had to travel on a weekday and it starts early so I've had to have breakfast really early.

I'd think someone had cheaped out having a weekday wedding without proper food - at my expense there, including my expense of hunger.

I'm not being mean, you've asked for opinions and you'll have noticed a few people have mentioned about not feeling fed at weddings. Luckily some people wouldn't mind, so maybe your family and friends fall in that camp. Then you're grand.

If you’d have said you’d expect a sit down meal then I’d think that was fair enough and would taken it on board. It was the ‘mini scone’ comment I found unnecessary when I’d made it clear that volume wise there would be a decent amount of food, even if it’s not to everyone’s taste. It would be much easier if I shared the menu for the afternoon tea, but I’d rather not share what the venue is in case people start sharing other suggestions with me and complicating things!

I think it’s partly my fault as I said in my opening post about budget. I don’t want to spend a lot, which is why I am considering an informal day time thing, but this is not a cheap venue! If when I speak to people in person they don’t seem enthused then we will do a standard all day affair with a sit down meal and a DJ in the evening etc but it won’t be at this place.

OP posts:

Moonnstarz · 14/05/2026 07:18

I think this sounds lovely.

I think the only thing you might need to be aware of is you mention other friends being teachers, so doing it in any school holiday means they might not be around and if a good holiday deal came up they would go for that rather than your wedding.
Same with any guests with school aged children, they are likely to prioritise holidays over your wedding.

Thechateau · 14/05/2026 07:14

I got married on a Friday. Everyone came. Your wedding sounds lovely OP, but I would make sure the afternoon tea is really substantial, don't underfeed people

Original poster

TheLadyOfWinterfell · 14/05/2026 07:05

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 13/05/2026 23:18

I just think it’s rude to invite guests to attend a wedding and basically give them snacks. I wouldn’t be impressed if I went to a wedding, with all the expense that goes with it, and then have to go out for dinner afterwards to eat. I wouldn’t want to go to a cafe for breakfast before either! But you know your guests. You just need to make it very, very clear on the invitation what they can expect, otherwise it’ll be a disappointing day for a lot of people.

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I mean, I really wouldn’t class a buffet or afternoon tea as snacks, but OK. I’m sorry you’d feel disappointed, hopefully none of the guests would feel the same way but I guess you can’t make everyone happy when you organise an event. Yes, we would make it clear on the invite that it was only a day time thing with an early finish as not only will if affect evening meals it may affect whether people choose to stay locally overnight or head home.

But… you’d expect to arrange your own breakfast on the day of the wedding though? That’s all I meant, that if people are travelling in the morning and don’t want to have breakfast before they leave then there are plenty of places they can get something locally. Or they can have breakfast at home or in their hotel or where ever they would normally have breakfast. It’s not like I’m planning something at a remote country hotel 90 minutes outside the nearest big town, which I appreciate would be a massive palaver for people. Most people won’t be travelling for any longer than an hour, so could easily not have to leave the house until quite late in the morning.

@TheSoapyFrog The general opinion seems to be that a buffet would be preferable, which is absolutely fine by me as that’s what I’d rather have and it’s cheaper, so more money to spend on other things. There will be a wedding cake, so it’s not like there won’t be anything sweet. Glad your mum and your stepdad had a lovely time 🙂

OP posts:

PJ98 · 14/05/2026 07:04

An afternoon tea is not a substantial meal. I've had some afternoon teas where I've not finished it, but more that I'm sick of cake by the end of it. The savoury part is only a few sandwiches.

I'd go for the buffet, but even then I'd personally expect a sit down meal at a wedding, especially if I've had to travel on a weekday and it starts early so I've had to have breakfast really early.

I'd think someone had cheaped out having a weekday wedding without proper food - at my expense there, including my expense of hunger.

I'm not being mean, you've asked for opinions and you'll have noticed a few people have mentioned about not feeling fed at weddings. Luckily some people wouldn't mind, so maybe your family and friends fall in that camp. Then you're grand.

TheSoapyFrog · 14/05/2026 01:23

My mum and stepdad had a beautiful wedding on a Wednesday in August several years ago. Family travelled down from all over the UK for it, and, from what I remember, there weren't any complaints.
They did have a sit deal meal, but it went on for longer than you've planned for yours.

Personally, I would be disappointed to see an afternoon tea as I'm not really a fan of them, and would much prefer a buffet.

Snugglemonkey · 14/05/2026 00:16

ToKittyornottoKitty · 13/05/2026 10:30

Not unreasonable at all, but honestly do people want a ‘champagne afternoon tea’? I’d rather have basic wine but not be hungry personally, I may well be totally wrong but champagne afternoon tea sounds like you are barely going to feed people. Posh afternoon snacks. Lack of food at weddings is a common mistake people make

Really? I have never had an afternoon tea that I have not taken stuff away from and I am fat!

oviraptor21 · 14/05/2026 00:08

Agree with PP that the "afternoon tea" is problematic. If your ceremony is at midday so no-one will have had lunch, plus several people will have had to use annual leave, I can imagine a few unhappy guests if they don't get a proper meal and then perhaps have to buy themselves an evening meal if they can't go home the same day.

Logika · 13/05/2026 23:52

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 13/05/2026 23:18

I just think it’s rude to invite guests to attend a wedding and basically give them snacks. I wouldn’t be impressed if I went to a wedding, with all the expense that goes with it, and then have to go out for dinner afterwards to eat. I wouldn’t want to go to a cafe for breakfast before either! But you know your guests. You just need to make it very, very clear on the invitation what they can expect, otherwise it’ll be a disappointing day for a lot of people.

Show quote history

I've never been out for afternoon tea and felt I'd only had snacks. They always have boxes for people to bring their excess cake home in. I can pack a lot of calories away and even I don't always finish it.

The trick here I think is to serve it in a way that people feel able to tuck in, like they do when it's served to you individually on those tall racks, rather than nibbling politely on a single sandwich and a profiterole.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 13/05/2026 23:18

TheLadyOfWinterfell · 13/05/2026 22:08

@PJ98 That is very far away from what I’ve said, so it just read to me as being quite unpleasant. If we do this, it will be canapés and then either a buffet lunch or an afternoon tea
which includes multiple savoury elements.

@JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn It’s not just canapés and champagne though, as you’ve said? It’s canapés and then either a buffet or an afternoon tea. That’s more than most people eat in the gap between breakfast and dinner, surely? The ceremony venue is in a city, so there are plenty of cafes/restaurants around if people want to have a later breakfast before. It’s not like it’s a stately home or a spa hotel in the middle of nowhere.

I just think it’s rude to invite guests to attend a wedding and basically give them snacks. I wouldn’t be impressed if I went to a wedding, with all the expense that goes with it, and then have to go out for dinner afterwards to eat. I wouldn’t want to go to a cafe for breakfast before either! But you know your guests. You just need to make it very, very clear on the invitation what they can expect, otherwise it’ll be a disappointing day for a lot of people.

Cooshawn · 13/05/2026 22:49

You know your guests better than we do, and you know how important it is to you that everyone attends.

I categorically will not attend a wedding on a weekday. I've endured it twice and both times have been far too much palaver and been a bit shit.

Original poster

TheLadyOfWinterfell · 13/05/2026 22:08

@PJ98 That is very far away from what I’ve said, so it just read to me as being quite unpleasant. If we do this, it will be canapés and then either a buffet lunch or an afternoon tea
which includes multiple savoury elements.

@JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn It’s not just canapés and champagne though, as you’ve said? It’s canapés and then either a buffet or an afternoon tea. That’s more than most people eat in the gap between breakfast and dinner, surely? The ceremony venue is in a city, so there are plenty of cafes/restaurants around if people want to have a later breakfast before. It’s not like it’s a stately home or a spa hotel in the middle of nowhere.

OP posts:

PJ98 · 13/05/2026 21:14

If I was going to a weekday wedding, I'd expect to be actually fed at least! A real meal, not a few canapés and a mini scone.

bridgetreilly · 13/05/2026 20:37

Surely everyone knows the rule is to have a sandwich before a wedding, no matter what time it is. You never know when there will be food.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 13/05/2026 20:35

12 noon is a terrible time for a wedding. Most people will have had breakfast and then travelled to be with you so will be getting hungry for lunch just as you’re exchanging your vows. To then only provide a finger buffet or afternoon tea will leave you with 60-80 hungry guests. The biggest complaint about weddings is that people are left hungry. Please feed your guests. Canapés and champagne isn’t going to cut it!

BeaLola · 13/05/2026 19:41

Weekday - a lot of places charge the same Monday to Friday with Sat -Sun and Bank Holidays at a higher price (appreciate this does depend per venue)

if it’s enough notice some attendees may be able to “swop” their working day rather than take annual leave - I did this for a friends ceremony

Humblebumbley · 13/05/2026 19:38

It’s your wedding so go for whatever you want. As long as you don’t get disappointed or annoyed by people who can’t make it or leave early due to the day.

I’ve probably been to 10+ weekday weddings at this point and, although it does always sting a little to be using annual leave and sometimes paying extra childcare costs on top, it’s true that we’ve made it work for people we care about. And if the majority of your guests are in the category of a weekday wedding being convenient then it doesn’t sound like you’d get much push back.